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Considering breaking up


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Hi all

 

i recently posted about my partner and I being on different pages in terms of where we are at in terms of commitment. 
 

Since then, I have found myself questioning whether i really do want it as much as my partner and have since had a bad gut feeling around it all. 
 

im considering breaking things off, because it just doesn’t feel right anymore and I don’t feel the same desire and commitment to my partner as she would like. I’m finding myself not wanting to make future plans anymore. 
 

she is really great and has been lovely but it just doesn’t feel right now for whatever reason. 
 

Am I being hasty or is it understandable? I’m scared of upsetting her but feel it is worse to stay in something I’m not wanting to fully be in. 
 

 

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Would you want someone to stay in a relationship with you out of pity?  Would you want your partner to be pretending to be as in love with you as you are with her? Does she deserve a man who is 100% in love with her?

Answer those questions and you'll know what to do.

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28 minutes ago, Izac1789 said:

she is really great and has been lovely but it just doesn’t feel right now for whatever reason. 
 

This is just a suggestion only: I would look this part over because it's without reason. Put in a little more thought and ask yourself why she's not a good fit for you. You will be repeating the same mistakes picking partners who mean little to you over time without knowing why.

 

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3 minutes ago, Rose Mosse said:

This is just a suggestion only: I would look this part over because it's without reason. Put in a little more thought and ask yourself why she's not a good fit for you. You will be repeating the same mistakes picking partners who mean little to you over time without knowing why.

 

Good call out @Rose Mosse

I agree. You don't have to share the reason with her.  Anyone is free to leave a relationship for any reason.  But it is beneficial to understand about your needs and yourself. 

A GREAT person that is loving but doesn't feel right, is rather illogical. 

It could be your feelings have changed or you've discovered something about them that doesn't match your goals and plans. 

 

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Yes . End it. It's only 9 mos so cut your losses and set each other free. You have your own house. She lives with mommy and daddy. She's pushing and shoving for marriage, moving into your house etc. Way too much.

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5 hours ago, Izac1789 said:

Since then, I have found myself questioning whether i really do want it as much as my partner and have since had a bad gut feeling around it all. 

- why? the pressures? - or do you think you work it out?

5 hours ago, Izac1789 said:

im considering breaking things off, because it just doesn’t feel right anymore and I don’t feel the same desire and commitment to my partner as she would like. I’m finding myself not wanting to make future plans anymore. 

- As she would like... over what you really want/won't want.  You need to communicate.

5 hours ago, Izac1789 said:

Am I being hasty or is it understandable? I’m scared of upsetting her but feel it is worse to stay in something I’m not wanting to fully be in. 

Hasty- possible. Understandable- sure.

-To be in something you're not wanting to be in, because of the pressures, then talk to her- or does she know all of this?

* As Wiseman said.... has been 9 months, only.  So yeah, if this is just too much & you don't feel it, due to her actions, etc, then admit it to her.* _ maybe she's just pushed you too far and you are far from her mind set & can't give it to her*.

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On 4/15/2021 at 8:57 AM, Izac1789 said:

she is really great and has been lovely but it just doesn’t feel right now for whatever reason. 

It doesn't feel right now but feelings change. You say she is really great but want to end things without really having a reason. I would look at why you would want to end things. Is it the pressure of commitment? Do you feel you are too young to settle down? Look forward a little bit and think about what life would look like with her in it vs without. Where are you happiest? Would you be resentful staying with her or regretful for leaving? Ultimately, if you are just not into the relationship, then its best for both of you if you move on.

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