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I have been having this huge crush on this guy I met on instagram, he's just the way I wanted my guy to be, now we exchanged numbers and started texting and he's a total flirt and I'm a little shy but I flirted back a little so that he doesn't find me boring, we texted the entire night day before yesterday, and also we were exchanging texts yesterday till the evening, when all of a sudden he stoped talking to me, he's on a holiday with his friends so I figured he must be busy, I texted him from front he replied, we spoke a little and then again he stoped texting me, and again I messaged him and again he talked a little and flirted a little and again he left me on read,  it wasn't like he was busy or something, he was online most of the time but wouldn't talk to me , I don't want to message him from front again and seem desperate, he's a great guy and I feel we both will make an amazing couple, what do I do to get him to miss me 

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Yeah, YOU need to stop this.

- You are already over doing it.  He's probably left it on read, because you're maybe driving him crazy?  ( you said he's on vacay w/ his buddies, let him enjoy it).

So, do not msg him anymore.. IF he is interested, he will msg you sometime.  So, leave him to it.

If you show yourself as too needy, that is a turn off.

As for you assuming he's such a 'great guy', just from some occasional texting- that you don't know... YOU are jumping to conclusions here... Really, slow down.

If he never msg's you again, would you still think you'd make an amazing couple?

Take it easy with all the hyped up assumptions.. I doubt you know anything about this guy...

Edited by SooSad33
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@SooSad33 Ive known him for a year now, we talked as friends before, he is very intellectual and he also asked me out on a date before but I never got to meet him because of the lockdown and we just stopped talking but I wasn't able to forget him, so I recently messaged him and we started to talk again and now he's not talking and I'm a mess

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Okay... so you messaged him, so you started this up again... In ways it sounds like it may just you who's lost in all of this 😕 .

Yeah, he may be flirty, but that doesn't always mean much.. Lots of guys act that way.

He's not talking to you in how long though, a day or 2?  Like I said, leave it up to him now to msg you.  Or you will be seen as too needy.  Instead of respecting him & his vacay.

Maybe is time for you to try & accept he may not be as into this as you are.. and even if he does start to talk to you again.. slow it all down.  You really don't know too much about him, especially re: being involved. ( you haven't met him yet..?).

Don't assume anything in this..

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@SooSad33, I know him, he's kind of a public figure and we have so many common interests, and always made me feel like he was interested in me, he's just not talking to me much since yesterday evening, what should I do it's making me mad and sick to my stomach

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You are over-invested. 

This shouldn't be causing you so much distress. You say you're a mess and sick to your stomach - girl, why? You two have not even been on one date. You're already far too attached and he likely senses this and is pulling back. 

We can't make someone interested in us. Stop texting him. See if he comes to you of his own volition, wihout any prompting from you. If he doesn't, then you will need to accept that he isn't interested the way you are. 

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2 minutes ago, Lost said:

@MissCanuckbut he weren't interested why'd he talk about wanting to kiss me so much 😭

Because he's sleezy and was looking for entertainment?

You can't take a guy seriously when he talks like this before even having been on  a date with you. And it appears his interest has faded. You will only know his real intentions if you stop reaching out and see what he does without any nudging from you. 

But it would be a good to reflect on why this has upset you to this degree. Why are you a mess and sick to your stomach over this? Do you tend to get attached too fast? 

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@misscanuck I don't get attached to fast, it's just that I've ways craved for a guy who'd love me and adore me and none of my past relationships were that way, the guys were all good but nobody would go out of their way with gestures and affection and this guy seemed like he would because he's so warm to all his friends on social media I figured he would spoil the heck out of his girl too and now I feel maybe I'm not worthy of that .. I mean I'm beautiful and confident and talented but not one guy approached me not one .. so there's no hope . 

 

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5 hours ago, Lost said:

 I feel we both will make an amazing couple.

You never met. You're not dating. 

Don't waste your time, energy or life on fantasies and crushes.

Don't hunt guys down on social media and chase and stalk them.

Live your own real life with real people. He probably figured you may be a catfish, troll, whatever and shut things down.

Get a good profile and pics on quality dating apps and start talking to and meeting real-life single men in person.

 

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2 hours ago, Lost said:

nobody would go out of their way with gestures and affection and this guy seemed like he would because he's so warm to all his friends on social media I figured he would spoil the heck out of his girl too and now I feel maybe I'm not worthy of that .. I mean I'm beautiful and confident and talented but not one guy approached me not one .. so there's no hope . 

This is my point, though. It's pure speculation because you have no idea who this person truly is, nor what he's like in a relationship. You are attaching your value to an idea of him, but it's based on zero real-life interaction. 

And I would argue that you do indeed get attached to fast if you feel his distance now means you're not worthy a decent relationship. You're measuring your self-worth by a guy you have never dated. 

I would take a step back here. You are more than worthy of a man who will love you, but this is not the way to go about it. 

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Meet him in person and see whether there's any chemistry. There's no point texting for long periods and he's on holiday so try to put it in perspective. 

What you do is wish him a good time and suggest you both meet up when he's back in town. If he doesn't respond later on when he's back, let it go. He's not in the right headspace to meet you or take you seriously.

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two things to always remember... 

1. words mean nothing

2. mixed signals really mean no 

People who are interested act interested. It's ok to reach out first ONCE. After that, let it be.

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8 hours ago, Lost said:

@SooSad33, I know him, he's kind of a public figure and we have so many common interests, and always made me feel like he was interested in me, he's just not talking to me much since yesterday evening, what should I do it's making me mad and sick to my stomach

You are making a fool out of yourself by texting so much and whining that he isn't replying.  How old are you and he?  My guess is he's got lots of girls he's chatting to and being flirty with.  The fact you have never met him is very telling.  You need to back off and stop being so pushy, that will chase a guy away so fast.  

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5 hours ago, Lost said:

craved for a guy who'd love me and adore me and none of my past relationships were that way, the guys were all good but nobody would go out of their way with gestures and affection and this guy seemed like he would because he's so warm to all his friends on social media

- Okay, yeah -- On social media ( If hes some popular dude, he is like this with everyone - is an act) ..

5 hours ago, Lost said:

I feel maybe I'm not worthy of that .. I mean I'm beautiful and confident and talented but not one guy approached me not one .. so there's no hope . 

Sadly, you are setting yourself up for failure with someone you really don't know (personally) and probably won't.

Your age has been  mentioned so I am assuming you are no older than early 20's...

Yes, there is always hope.. so you need to leave this guy alone!  Never show yourself as 'needy'.  That will push them away.

But as for this well'known dude on social media, leave him be.. (he's *** hot and he knows it ,doesnt he?) .. Yah, that bs you don't need 😕 .

Find someone real.

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I'm sure he's messaging lots of young women who approach him based on his online persona.

It would be better to meet men in person, who you can actually see and spend time with. Not words on a tiny screen.

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There’s a user here I forgot who that has an awesome quote in their profile. It basically says that once you try backing off from a situation everything falls into place as it should. So I would step back from the computer and just go about your business. The only way to know if someone is interested is to see if they act interested.

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Guysssss thanks everyone for replying @limichelle @boltnrun @SooSad33 @Hollyj @melancholy123 @Lambert @rosemosse @MissCanuck @Wiseman2 let me clear a few things, I'm a very secure person but yes I do get attached very fast, the thing is, I've never been attracted to many men in my life and all the men I ever liked fell head over heels for me, and yes he's a public figure but he's a celebrities best frnd and I look 1000 times better than him, I too am an influencer I belong to an affluent family and I've always had good secure loving people around me, I've never even flirted with anyone in my entire life because I'm terrible at it and I'm wayyy to dumb when it comes to understanding if someones flirting with me , all my previous bfs (3 of them) have always been very loving and protective towards me and I never went beyond second base with anyone tbh and now there's this guy who's a year older than I am, who looks mature and who belongs to an affluent family too, and I felt I can have a serious long term relationship with him in the long run, if not that, then a strong friendship but he flirts a lot, talks a lot about kissing, also sends normal pictures of his trip so I don't know what to think 🤔 also, he sometimes continuously talks and then ghosts me, and and and right now he sent me a HI ...what should I do, answer urgently ...I have purposely not read his msg 

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18 minutes ago, Lost said:

I felt I can have a serious long term relationship with him

Even on a first meet up, the only thing in your head should be, "Do I feel chemistry with this guy? Is he pleasant company?"

Even if you didn't say out loud that you believe you two are star-crossed lovers, meant to be a couple, a guy will sense that too intense aura from you. I remember going on a first meet with a guy and felt really uncomfortable, like I was being examined under a microscope. Even so, I went on a few more dates with him, and I couldn't figure out why I couldn't loosen up and we spoke of that. He admitted he always looked at a woman on a first meet and asked himself if he could be with her for a lifetime, and if not, that would be the last date. To me, that was ridiculous, and nobody could know that, so no wonder I felt uncomfortable.

Your only goal at the beginning is to see if a spark is there for both, and you both enjoy each other's company. And if it even gets that far, which is actually more rare than common, you can start seeing if you match in other important ways.

In the future, don't invest in communication until you can meet within a few weeks time. This will prevent you from investing into a fantasy.

If a guy keeps communicating without an invite, tell him, "My goal is to date versus being a pen pal, so feel free to reach out when you're ready to meet."

In-person is when reality begins. Before that, it's la la land. If you believe la la land is real, you probably also believe in unicorns and mermaids.

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Never knock yourself out over a guy or that vibe will be picked up by the guy and make him not want to contact you. Play it kool, wish him a happy vacation and talk when he gets back. To be desirable is to be less available.

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On 4/14/2021 at 1:00 AM, MissCanuck said:

Have you ever met this guy in person at all?

Update ... We spoke yesterday well it wasn't much talking, he wished me "goodmorning sunshine" at 12 pm and I corrected him " good afternoon" and he asked bout our date and I genuinely had to attend my cousin's birthday celebrations so I told him that I'll meet him in a day then we spoke about my farm house and he replied properly and now again he just abruptly stopped replying and it's been 24 hours we haven't spoken and I can literally see him online all the time and it's killing me I don't want to seem desperate by initiating conversation what should I do 

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