she doesn't know...???

[krisneale1607306436]

hi im 20 from london, uk, i have been kicked out of a relationship after 4 and a half years!, ive known her since i was 11 at school we got together at 15, and had the most brill time, but as i got older i became a heavy cannabis smoker and the drive that i had, had gone became very paranoid etc etc, since breaking up i have stopped smokin cannabis and turnd into the old self again, my ex says she misses me, and doesn't know if she wants to get bak together, i have changed so much and realise how much i do love her, but she just keeps saying i dont know its almost been three months of hell for me and i just dont know what to do, i keep saying jus gimme a chance and i will prove that it can be better coz i know 100% that it can! is she misses me then why doesn't she come back? any advice would be excellent im in such a state, and really dont know what to do?

thanks

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I had the same problem but mine was with cocaine, it made me paranoid and i lost my interest in life. although i wasn't doing it a lot and she did a bit too it just changed me as a person. I became extremely paranoid possesive etc and stopped letting her breath. Like you, i have now given it up and i am becoming my old self again "the guy she fell in love with". My problem is that because i know so much it was that s**t because and it wasn't me she hadf to get rid of. She is hurt, angry and confused and the more i try and tell her "look at me it was that stuff" the more it pushes her away because i am doing the same thing that i did when i was on that stuff by always being in her face. she now feels that she can't get away from me. We have talked and i have one more chance to not f**k it up forever because at the moment she understands what i am going through and is a great understanding girl she knows that i am sorry and i am doing something about it but as she said it doesn't change the fact that i did do it. i know that she has never loved anyone as much as me and before the s**t we did have true love. One day when she has let off steam and found herself again i feel we might get back together, but because i don't know when that day will come i can't put my life on hold. Just carry on addressing your issues and sort yourself out and prove her wrong about yourself, but most importantly do it for yourself and think of it as a lesson learned

 

As the the saying goes

 

If you love her enough you will set her free, and if she comes back it was meant to be