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He invaded my privacy

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5 hours ago, lostandhurt said:

So you don't give any thought to who you used to have sex with and you don't care who your bf has had sex with.  I get that but can you honestly say that if a guy you really cared about had an "old friend" that hung out with you and you started liking her and then found out without being told by him that they recently were hooking up just for sex it wouldn't bother you at all?

I've been wondering the same. 

OP, I don't think too many guys are going to be "Oh, my girl used to sleep with her good friend, cool." Many are going to be uncomfortable with that, regardless of age. They might try to be alright with it but you're going to be hard-pressed to find someone who is truly nonchalant about it. 

If you want someone who is fine with it, well, this isn't your guy. It doesn't much matter if you would be okay with it, if the roles were reversed. He is not, and that's an incompatiblity that will render a relationship very difficult. 

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What's unhealthy is this arrangement where you give someone you barely know your passwords to your phone and unhealthy that you keep in touch with a guy you had a sexual arrangement with  - unhealthy

Why in the world would you give him your passwords?? After a few months? Do you store any of your financial info on your phone?? How he gets on with your friends is irrelevant.  I promise they will ge

Hey GGINC, I thought about your situation a little more, and thought I’d share with you.    When reflecting back on my early dating days with my husband, I didn’t really know what kind of perso

Hey GGINC, I thought about your situation a little more, and thought I’d share with you. 

When reflecting back on my early dating days with my husband, I didn’t really know what kind of person he was. For all I knew, he could’ve been coming here just to try and get laid, he could’ve been looking for a sugar mama, who knows. Social media has become such an influence to people now, and makes it so easy to find others, and be secretive. On top of that, as the responses here have shown us, people have different ideas about whether something is an issue or not.

I think, if you decide to continue with your boyfriend, maybe you should explain to him the level of your integrity. Perhaps he doesn’t yet know what caliber of person you are, he’s getting stronger feelings and that’s a little scary. Maybe if you explain to him that his snooping communicated to you that he doesn’t believe you’re capable of maintaining boundaries, being faithful, or having integrity. Let him know you are a good person who will handle your own friendships/relationships how you see fit and if there’s something you think he should know, you’ll tell him. You didn’t think he needed to know about your past with your friend because it’s nothing anymore, it’s irrelevant, and you’re completely capable of being friends with that guy and nothing more.

Either your boyfriend will trust you and rise to meet you on this level of understanding, or he will tell you that he wants to know these kinds of details about your past. You guys can navigate the conversation and see if there’s a compromise from there.

Edited by indea08
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I fail to see how it would be safe during Covid lock down to go out and find a random stranger to have sex with. Hello, Covid, not to mention STD's! Very odd advice during a pandemic.

Anyway...I don't feel you two are compatible. That's the bottom line.

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