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Update: I just want to end the friendship


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Hello all,

I posted in January of this year seeking help on how I should end a friendship with someone I have known for 10 years. I'm not sure if I should have linked my past post but just a quick reminder to anyone who remembers this issue. https://www.enotalone.com/topic/444210-i-just-want-to-end-the-friendship/

I have/had this friend who is very toxic. Met in college and now 10 years later I am here. She is always using me as a way to let out all of her emotional baggage. Or she uses me so she can get ahead in life. But when I need her help, she is just too busy or does it sloppily. She never respects my time. She calls me several times a day to talk about her issues. Plus she tries to use people close to me to get what she wants. 

Once, she called me, didn't leave a voice message. So I assumed it wasn't important. Then she sent me a text 2 days later that read, "911." I called her thinking it was an emergency. I asked her what is going on, and her response, "oh nothing, I haven't heard from you in a couple of days." I told her off right then and there. Another greedy moment of hers is when my brother died, she did express her condolences, but 2 weeks after my brother's death, she was calling me nonstop to talk about her issues! This is another time I told her off. These issues are always something she gets herself into. Example, she cheated with a married man and his wife found out. Or she cheated and her boyfriend found out. Another one, so and so doesn't want to hang out with her anymore.....I wonder why?!?

Fast forward to January of this year,  I decided to slowly drift out of her life. When she text me, I responded to a couple of texts but then "vanished." I stopped answering her calls and I stopped responding to her texts. But since then, she keeps on reaching out to me! It is now April and she keeps sending me messages. The last one I got was a few days ago. Instead of expressing any sort of concern, she listed out ALL of her problems in a text and hopes we can talk about them! 

I was told by some people to just tell her I no longer wanted to be her friend, and most told me to just slowly disappear and that is what I did. But as mentioned, this girl keeps messaging me....no contact for at least 2 and half months and still getting messages. I'm thinking about just blocking her number at this point, but knowing her and her crazy ways, she's going to start calling me from someone else's phone. 

I'm not sure if I'm seeing advice here or just giving an update to this madness. But maybe it's just a way for me to let all of this out. 

 

 

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24 minutes ago, TryingtoSucceed said:

Once, she called me, didn't leave a voice message. So I assumed it wasn't important. Then she sent me a text 2 days later that read, "911." I called her thinking it was an emergency. I asked her what is going on, and her response, "oh nothing, I haven't heard from you in a couple of days."

Outrageous. Delete and block her and all her associated people from ALL your social media and messaging apps.

She will find another warm body to suck the blood out of in no time. Don't worry about people like this.

Parasites have amazing survival skills. Problem is, it's at the expense of others.

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Mute her contact. It's as easy as that. Or block. It doesn't have to be so drastic unless you are absolutely done. Unfortunately not everyone will respect your boundaries or reciprocate a friendship well. That is okay. Before it gets to this point start enforcing boundaries of your own (private ones) and that means either muting or blocking that person. Don't let your stress levels get so high. Not worth it, imo.

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37 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

Outrageous. Delete and block her and all her associated people from ALL your social media and messaging apps.

She will find another warm body to suck the blood out of in no time. Don't worry about people like this.

Parasites have amazing survival skills. Problem is, it's at the expense of others.

That's what I decided to do. Just block her. What stopped me from blocking her in the beginning was the fact I didn't want to just vanish in thin air. Then the mutual friends would reach out too. Or once I did block her, she would start using other phone numbers to contact me with.  But I am going to block her right this moment. Final nail in the coffin. 

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2 hours ago, TryingtoSucceed said:

That's what I decided to do. Just block her. What stopped me from blocking her in the beginning was the fact I didn't want to just vanish in thin air. Then the mutual friends would reach out too. Or once I did block her, she would start using other phone numbers to contact me with.  But I am going to block her right this moment. Final nail in the coffin. 

I think you are doing the right thing.  I know I struggled with being a loyal friend.  A lifelong friend you just don't dump.  But if you can't take it anymore.  That has to mean something, too.  

It's gonna be ok.  ❤️

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I would text her one last time.  Write this:  "Her Name,  It is time to go our separate ways.  Please do not contact me anymore. Please respect and honor my wishes.  I wish you all the best.  Your Name."

If she contacts you relentlessly, then ignore, ghost, block and delete her permanently.

 

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