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Boyfriend looks at ex’s Instagram everyday. Am I paranoid?


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32 minutes ago, Wandapanda said:

I think that given my friendship with him, I’d feel the need to be there for him as he works through this like in the past. But I also think I’d be doing myself a disservice. The thought of having to listen to my boyfriend talk about his feelings for someone else sounds a bit cruel. 

It is also terribly unhealthy and no way to have a relationship. 

Dating someone who is working through his feelings for someone else is pointless, and as you rightly said, would be selling yourself short. 

 

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You probably don't want to hear this but I just can't see why you'd continue to date him. You should separate and find someone who can be with you 100%.    The circumstances of their break u

So you'd rather live your life anxious and fearful, checking his phone and his social media activity every time he's not looking? Is that how you'd always imagined your ideal love relationship?

He wasn't over her before you started dating, and he still isn't.    Why did they break up?

11 hours ago, Wandapanda said:

I think that given my friendship with him, I’d feel the need to be there for him as he works through this like in the past. But I also think I’d be doing myself a disservice. The thought of having to listen to my boyfriend talk about his feelings for someone else sounds a bit cruel. Though that might make it easier to walk away from this relationship if it came to that

So, if it turns out that he has feelings for her and that is why he is checking her social media accounts, it sounds like you would know what to do (not stay in the relationship - that would be doing yourself a disservice, as you just said). Now, what if it turns out to be some sort of power dynamic involving a blow to his ego, or it turns out he's just been oddly curious lately? If your answer to that question is different (i.e., if that is less of a problem) - then you should ascertain the reasons he has been checking before choosing your course of action.

Edited by Pleasedonot5
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