Is this suspicious?

[Easchm0494]

My boyfriend just told me he has been wanting to order a meal prepping service but said it is too expensive. But he said his coworker’s girlfriend’s sister does meal prepping for $150 a week, but he goes to her house Wednesday and Sunday to pick up the food. The girl is the same age as him also. Would anyone else think this is suspicious or am I overthinking it? I asked if he’d be cool if I picked up meal prepped food from a guy’s house twice a week and he said no he wouldn’t. So not sure why it’s cool for him to do it then? I am not normally jealous but I don’t know, maybe my intuition has been sensing something odd is going on even though I don’t have solid proof. 

[melancholy123]

Is he gone long enough to get the food and come back right away or does he take longer than he should?  The answer to that would help me decide if he's getting a meal on the side or not!

[Batya33]

This doesn't make a lot of sense -does she have a license to prepare food in her kitchen? I mean I wouldn't trust that she is using fresh ingredients, has the right level of clean kitchen -and if he has to travel there to get it and travel back etc is it really a time saver so much? If she is running a licensed business from her home then she won't really have time to hang with him because she'll be doing her pick up service (food, not her body) at that time.  I don't think he's cheating it just sounds like an unwise and uneconomical idea.

[Easchm0494]

19 minutes ago, melancholy123 said:

Is he gone long enough to get the food and come back right away or does he take longer than he should?  The answer to that would help me decide if he's getting a meal on the side or not!

I just moved for a job transfer so I wouldn’t know... something I wish I knew though! 

[Easchm0494]

9 minutes ago, Batya33 said:

This doesn't make a lot of sense -does she have a license to prepare food in her kitchen? I mean I wouldn't trust that she is using fresh ingredients, has the right level of clean kitchen -and if he has to travel there to get it and travel back etc is it really a time saver so much? If she is running a licensed business from her home then she won't really have time to hang with him because she'll be doing her pick up service (food, not her body) at that time.  I don't think he's cheating it just sounds like an unwise and uneconomical idea.

He just said she “does meal prepping for a few people” so nothing legit. Idk. He also got her number to text her about it and how it works/where to pick it up. 

[Batya33]

5 minutes ago, Easchm0494 said:

He just said she “does meal prepping for a few people” so nothing legit. Idk. He also got her number to text her about it and how it works/where to pick it up. 

I would strongly advise him not to do this -too much risk of lack of food quality and/or freshness/safety and no recourse if he has any issues with it.   At least the actual services have standards and laws -not that they definitely follow them but they risk a lot more than she does if they don't.  He won't know how clean her kitchen is, if others eat from the food, how long she leaves the food out, etc and if it's not ready when he gets there then what?  She's not delivering it.

[Tinydance]

Well it's hard to know I think without investigating further.  Does this girl actually run a real pre-made meal business, as in officially registered as a business where she has many customers and has a website etc. and packs the meals under her label? If not then she's just a random person who cooks food and "preps" it. In that case your boyfriend could do it himself because it would just be cooking food. It's not a programme that's by a dietician like Jenny Craig or anything and if she's not a chef then that is very suspicious that he would want to travel to some random woman's house to pick up this food. If she ran a real food peep business then that might be different. It sounds really weird that your boyfriend would want to go to a stranger's house to pick up the food if it's just something random this girl cooks. Is there a chance you could speak to his co-worker and ask more? Maybe you could try to Google this girl and see if she really has a business of some kind? Or see on her social media if she appears single or in a relationship? Just to try to assess the situation more. Another thing you could do is offer to pick the food up instead of your boyfriend. If he says no and doesn't want you to do it then that's definitely suspicious. Because if he really goes there just to get the food then he wouldn't care who picks it up for him.

[SooSad33]

3 hours ago, Easchm0494 said:

. But he said his coworker’s girlfriend’s sister does meal prepping for $150 a week, but he goes to her house Wednesday and Sunday to pick up the food. The girl is the same age as him also. Would anyone else think this is suspicious or am I overthinking it?

I don't find this suspicious.  Not sure why you do?

If he does get & pay for food prepped, that seems pretty normal.

 

[limichelle]

I don’t understand the double standard with it being okay for him but not for you?

[Wiseman2]

6 hours ago, Easchm0494 said:

He just said she “does meal prepping for a few people” so nothing legit. Idk. He also got her number to text her about it and how it works/where to pick it up. 

It's unclear who wants this. You or him. Do you live together? 

What's wrong with take out, preparing food yourself or getting stuff ready made at the supermarket?

Do you know any of his friends, family or co-workers? Why does this particular co-workers GFs sister annoy you?

Are you thinking he made up this food service thing to cover his tracks and he's cheating with her?

You can't text/call someone who's food you're eating and inquire about the service?

[Andrina]

If you're not usually a suspicious person, then yes, it's sometimes wise to listen to your gut. Even if he weren't cheating, you might consider if you want to be with someone who makes foolish financial decisions because if you're eventually sharing a household, you want someone who is financially stable and makes good decisions in that area. 

Unless you have money to burn for expenditures like weekly meal prep, having a big savings account and a great retirement portfolio, then blowing money foolishly like you're well off is plain. Life is expensive. I'd dump him just for that.

[smackie9]

Selling meals out of one's house is very common, especially in poorer communities. Lots of women of all ages and ethnic backgrounds do this to supplement their income, not a big deal. There is nothing suspect about it. If he was on the sly, he wouldn't tell you anything about it.

I see this would be practical for a guy living on his own. Probably healthier meals than he would prep himself.

I doubt he will be doing this forever. After a month or so he will move onto some other way to feed himself.

 

[Lambert]

11 hours ago, limichelle said:

I don’t understand the double standard with it being okay for him but not for you?

this is what I'm thinking. If you can't pick up food from some guy, then he can't either.

Why would you tolerate this? 

[DancingFool]

Going to echo Andrina that if you are not normally a suspicious person and this is the one time that your alarms are ringing, I wouldn't ignore them. Unfortunately, you don't have enough information, soooo try and investigate or learn more to figure it out one way or the other.

I think it's odd that this is a double standard where he wouldn't be OK with you doing what he is doing. Quite a large red flag really in that people usually project their behavior to others. If he wouldn't trust you, it's possibly because he is untrustworthy.

Second thing that is raising my eyebrow is the money excuse. Lost of meal prep services that will even deliver to your home for much much less a week than $150. At least where I live. So maybe check these types of service prices in your area which is easy enough to do. See if his money claim stands up or if it's bs.

Finally, while you check things out, do it quietly and draw your own conclusions whether this is the kind of a relationship you want to deal with or not. Sometimes you don't find a smoking gun or catch them in the act. You simply have to look at the forest of red flags, listen to your own intuition and ultimately decide with you really want to spend your time and energy on someone you can't quite trust.

[Rose Mosse]

Ask more questions. I have a few friends who pay for meal prep and it works for them. $150 is a little steep to me per week but it could be a niche diet or something catering to different dietary needs. 

I second listening to your gut instincts!

[Batya33]

1 hour ago, Rose Mosse said:

Ask more questions. I have a few friends who pay for meal prep and it works for them. $150 is a little steep to me per week but it could be a niche diet or something catering to different dietary needs. 

I second listening to your gut instincts!

Meal prep by a random person or by a licensed business/chef?

[Rose Mosse]

8 minutes ago, Batya33 said:

Meal prep by a random person or by a licensed business/chef?

I would answer but it's irrelevant. I see your concerns listed in detail above in your posts so I'm sure the OP is also considering the risks.

[Wiseman2]

16 hours ago, Easchm0494 said:

He also got her number to text her about it and how it works/where to pick it up. 

Call her and inquire about it before you order or eat any of it. What's wrong with the gazillion meal prep services and grocery delivery services already out there?

[boltnrun]

I've bought tamales and other food items from random people on street corners. I haven't died yet lol. 

A lady at work sold plates of Filipino food to coworkers. I've seen it happen lots of time. Again, no one got sick.

But I can understand why a lot of people have food safety concerns.

However, I don't think you're concerned about the safety of the food.

Do you believe your boyfriend is having sex with this woman? When he goes there does he come back with actual food?

[Batya33]

5 hours ago, boltnrun said:

I've bought tamales and other food items from random people on street corners. I haven't died yet lol. 

A lady at work sold plates of Filipino food to coworkers. I've seen it happen lots of time. Again, no one got sick.

But I can understand why a lot of people have food safety concerns.

However, I don't think you're concerned about the safety of the food.

Do you believe your boyfriend is having sex with this woman? When he goes there does he come back with actual food?

It's different because people actually see how the food is made and the street vendor wants repeat business and a good reputation whereas the random person can just tap into a different network, more easily.  I brought this up because it's related to the suspicion.  Why would he pay that much weekly where he has to pick up food from a random/unlicensed person?  It's not like spending you know $20-30 a week tops on street vendors

[Batya33]

6 hours ago, Rose Mosse said:

I would answer but it's irrelevant. I see your concerns listed in detail above in your posts so I'm sure the OP is also considering the risks.

I don't and I explained why in my previous post.

[Easchm0494]

On 4/2/2021 at 2:46 AM, Wiseman2 said:

It's unclear who wants this. You or him. Do you live together? 

What's wrong with take out, preparing food yourself or getting stuff ready made at the supermarket?

Do you know any of his friends, family or co-workers? Why does this particular co-workers GFs sister annoy you?

Are you thinking he made up this food service thing to cover his tracks and he's cheating with her?

You can't text/call someone who's food you're eating and inquire about the service?

He wants it. I recently moved away for a job transfer so we are long distance which might be playing into my insecurities. I don’t think he made it up, I just think it’s weird he doesn’t go through a legitimate food service when it gets delivered straight to his door. With this, he has to drive 20 minutes to pick it up. I asked him to send me her business social media page to look at it but he told me I was weird for asking him to do that. 

[DancingFool]

16 hours ago, Easchm0494 said:

He wants it. I recently moved away for a job transfer so we are long distance which might be playing into my insecurities. I don’t think he made it up, I just think it’s weird he doesn’t go through a legitimate food service when it gets delivered straight to his door. With this, he has to drive 20 minutes to pick it up. I asked him to send me her business social media page to look at it but he told me I was weird for asking him to do that. 

You are not weird. It was a very normal question to ask and he should have no problems sharing that info. He is being shady and his response/reaction is shady af. Did he actually share the info or did he refuse?

 

[smackie9]

17 hours ago, Easchm0494 said:

He wants it. I recently moved away for a job transfer so we are long distance which might be playing into my insecurities. I don’t think he made it up, I just think it’s weird he doesn’t go through a legitimate food service when it gets delivered straight to his door. With this, he has to drive 20 minutes to pick it up. I asked him to send me her business social media page to look at it but he told me I was weird for asking him to do that. 

Weird as in insecure and checking up on him. He knows what you are trying to do. If it bothers you that much have a friend follow him and see what they can find out.

[boltnrun]

Does he come back with actual food?

Do you think he's having sex with this food lady?