Unsure about our relationship of 6 years. We have no friends. Could you help?

[DarkCh0c0]

@Wiseman2 he wasn't in that group. He was blocked with his real profile because he was being disrespectful towards other members. I had no idea that he would create a fake one, let alone search my username and try to find nitty bits around me. Besides, I needed help on that group, and without it I wouldn't have found my teacher or new friends.

I'm not in immediate danger, but I'm scared of how far he's going to find me. It feels... Mental to do so. Does that make sense?

[boltnrun]

Please contact the appropriate authorities and file a report. Make sure you tell them you told your ex very firmly to leave you alone and not to contact you. Ask what kind of protection they recommend. 

Do not let anyone tell you it's no big deal or that he's harmless or that you are not in danger. Please take steps to protect yourself.

[DancingFool]

4 minutes ago, DarkCh0c0 said:

@Wiseman2 he wasn't in that group. He was blocked with his real profile because he was being disrespectful towards other members. I had no idea that he would create a fake one, let alone search my username and try to find nitty bits around me. Besides, I needed help on that group, and without it I wouldn't have found my teacher or new friends.

I'm not in immediate danger, but I'm scared of how far he's going to find me. It feels... Mental to do so. Does that make sense?

It IS mental. Then again, given all his previous behavior, you shouldn't really be surprised he is acting the way he is. He has never been sane or stable and he isn't going to be now either.

That said, please do be careful and don't underestimate his crazy and how far he may go. He isn't just stalking you online, he is trying to get to you physically via social engineering, like contacting your teacher to try and find you. Please please watch your back carefully.  This may mean actually stepping away from your normal hobbies, ex pat groups, and going completely dark. You may want to talk to a good PI on how to do that so you cannot be found for real.

As far as lawyers and restraining orders.....just keep in mind that a piece of paper won't stop someone from attacking you if they are crazy enough. It can also work to incite him further...as a challenge. Sane people will get slapped with a restraining order and step back, but crazy not so much. You  are dealing with crazy and the only question is how crazy is he really. Presume a lot and act accordingly even if that means the discomfort of hiding for quite some time until he finds someone else to latch on to.

[DarkCh0c0]

@boltnrun good advice. Thank you.

@DancingFool A restraining order would protect me. If he ever finds me somewhere public, I would have access to an app from the police which lets me get help/support with a click of a button and within 1-3 minutes (it's apparently special for victims of abuse). I have to do it. What other choice do I have?

If it's a challenge for him, let it be. Let the police beat him up and force him out of the country.

 

[boltnrun]

Please file the report asap. Today if possible. 

There are too many people who are in graves today who didn't want to make a big deal out of it or thought  "oh, he/she is harmless, he/she would never actually hurt me!"

Please take this seriously.  This man is unhinged.

[DarkCh0c0]

@boltnrun got in touch with a lawyer today. I can't file a complaint cause I don't speak the local language, so I need someone local to come with me and the lawyer should be up to the task.

I don't think he'll find exactly where I live. At least for now.

[boltnrun]

29 minutes ago, DarkCh0c0 said:

@boltnrun got in touch with a lawyer today. I can't file a complaint cause I don't speak the local language, so I need someone local to come with me and the lawyer should be up to the task.

I don't think he'll find exactly where I live. At least for now.

He's gone to a lot of trouble to try to find you. He could choose to pay a private investigator to find you. Or act sad and have his parents to pay for it, or manipulate someone in your Facebook groups to reveal your address.

I would definitely file the report with the lawyer's help and also step back from social media groups and posting anything for the time being. At least until he (hopefully) finally gives up and finds something else to do.

BTW, I thought he wanted to move to a different country?  Funny how he suddenly gave up on that idea now that he doesn't have you to abuse and manipulate. 

[DancingFool]

1 hour ago, DarkCh0c0 said:

@boltnrun good advice. Thank you.

@DancingFool A restraining order would protect me. If he ever finds me somewhere public, I would have access to an app from the police which lets me get help/support with a click of a button and within 1-3 minutes (it's apparently special for victims of abuse). I have to do it. What other choice do I have?

If it's a challenge for him, let it be. Let the police beat him up and force him out of the country.

 

My point is that you need to personally do more than just rely on the hope that a cop is immediately available to assist you. 3 minutes is an eternity if someone wants to harm you, so please don't walk around with a false sense of security that you can summon a cop in time.

The greatest defense is avoidance. 

[Jibralta]

2 hours ago, DarkCh0c0 said:

He tried to talk to my teacher (I found her through a fcbk post) and tried to get her to invite him on my class- except she realised that something was off with him, luckily.

That's just creepy. Glad your teacher has good instincts!

[DarkCh0c0]

@boltnrun I thought the same thing! I thought he would've left by now. But nope. Too busy being a piece of sh*t.

@Jibralta had she not, I would've met him yesterday and I would have really felt the need to leave to another state in a hurry for my safety, and I really can't do that in the time being.

 

@DancingFool yes, I'm still laying low- specially while I'm outside.

[Wiseman2]

Have you considered a lower profile on social media?

[DarkCh0c0]

@Wiseman2 I haven't been online for a month...

[LaHermes]

Keep off social media altogether OP. 

Have you an appointment with that lawyer?  

[DarkCh0c0]

@LaHermes i only have fcbk and only use it get local/expat help. I haven't opened the account in a month- which is why I was very shocked.

I'm seeing the lawyer tomorrow.

[DarkCh0c0]

Hello everyone,

I met with the lawyer and we agreed to file a restraining order at the police station on Saturday.

Today I found he created a third fake account with an image of an item i left at the apartment. He sent a friend requests, sent me a message saying he wants to meet at a restaurant to say goodbye and that he has "something" to give me. He insisted he's not playing tricks and he won't harm me.

Yea right. My lawyer confirmed that I do not respond.