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Unsure about our relationship of 6 years. We have no friends. Could you help?


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5 minutes ago, DarkCh0c0 said:

@boltnrun thank you for your encouragement. I feel so suffocated. It's as if he's following me.

@Hollyj thank you. I feel so alone in this.

It will take time to set up a local friend network .  What about friends in your home country?    It is so important not to immerse one's life in only one person.  

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@Rose Mosse @Hollyj @boltnrun @Wiseman2 @LotusBlack @Jibralta Hello everyone. It's done. I'm at the hotel waiting for my check in. Sent him a message, and blocked him on whatssap and fcbk. T

@boltnrun thank you for sharing. I'm happy you've find your way! Extreme situations sometimes need extreme solutions. Thank you for helping many of us who are struggling in a similar situation. I wish

You don't need his endorsement or permission to end the relationship, OP.  Until you learm to assert yourself and not keep yielding to pressure, this toxic relationship will continue. 

3 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

It's odd you haven't blocked him and ALL his people from all your messaging apps and social media. 

She explained. The person he sent the message through (it didn't come directly from her ex, she already blocked him) isn't one of "his people". This was a mutual acquaintance.

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@Hollyj I'm meeting someone else next week. I won't be going back to my home country, and my only friend from there has moved back to the US (she helped though). When I started working online, I kind of became shut off from the world. So, now I'm realising that it's important to have friends. If my mom wasn't manipulative and emotionally (previously physically) abusive, I would've talked to her. But even my therapist knows how complicated that is 😞

Soon I'll be moving my business to my current local phone number, so that old sim card with all its contacts will go. I think it's time to reap the fruits of the past, and start fresh.

@boltnrun spot on.

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Don’t give him the power of making you feel overwhelmed and suffocated. Remember, you’re no longer in it with him anymore. It is easy to forget that, but happily remind yourself that he’s already your past. It is only habit that you still feel the negative attachment between you. A phantom pain. But he’s actually already gone. You can breathe easy now. You already overcame the hardest part -walking away. Now all you have to do is stay away. He cannot get to you and you don’t need to give him your power. Keep it to and for yourself. Head held high, and remember, it’s already over, so don’t invite him back in through the door to your mind or heart.

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Hi everyone. Throwing in an update. @boltnrun you were right. Since I've left him, I've felt like a weight came off of my shoulders . As if I'm back to myself! Free and more energetic. It's been tough with the stress, healing, and new life, but I'm also so excited. Today he tried(for the third time) to send me a message on WhatsApp through a friend of him I've never met/had his contact number. He's so desperate and I see it. He wants to "fix" everything and show me he can change. I simply told his friend to stay out of this and blocked him. I no longer feel for him. I just want to move on.

Thanks again everyone. I wish you all happiness in life. 

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15 minutes ago, DarkCh0c0 said:

Since I've left him, I've felt like a weight came off of my shoulders . As if I'm back to myself! Free and more energetic. It's been tough with the stress, healing, and new life, but I'm also so excited. .... I simply told his friend to stay out of this and blocked him. I no longer feel for him. I just want to move on.

Good for you! I'm so glad to see that you're successfully moving on.

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Yay we like the happy endings. I read through the discussion and I'm glad that you made the choice to move on. I know leaving someone, especially after 6 years is kinda scary/uncertain, and the guilt you must felt at first, but wow look at you all beaming with joy 🙂 good for you.

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3 hours ago, DarkCh0c0 said:

Hi everyone. Throwing in an update. @boltnrun you were right. Since I've left him, I've felt like a weight came off of my shoulders . As if I'm back to myself! Free and more energetic. It's been tough with the stress, healing, and new life, but I'm also so excited. Today he tried(for the third time) to send me a message on WhatsApp through a friend of him I've never met/had his contact number. He's so desperate and I see it. He wants to "fix" everything and show me he can change. I simply told his friend to stay out of this and blocked him. I no longer feel for him. I just want to move on.

Thanks again everyone. I wish you all happiness in life. 

He had six years to "change". But he waited until you'd had enough of his selfish manipulations to say he wants to "change". Nope, he doesn't want to change, he just wants you back so he can continue to mistreat you. He knows it will be very difficult to find another woman who will put up with him. 

Good for you for staying strong.

BTW, is it absolutely vital for you to have WhatsApp?

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4 hours ago, DarkCh0c0 said:

Hi everyone. Throwing in an update. @boltnrun you were right. Since I've left him, I've felt like a weight came off of my shoulders . As if I'm back to myself! Free and more energetic. It's been tough with the stress, healing, and new life, but I'm also so excited. Today he tried(for the third time) to send me a message on WhatsApp through a friend of him I've never met/had his contact number. He's so desperate and I see it. He wants to "fix" everything and show me he can change. I simply told his friend to stay out of this and blocked him. I no longer feel for him. I just want to move on.

Thanks again everyone. I wish you all happiness in life. 

Wishing you the same, Darkch0c0. 

Lots of peace, love, light and happiness. 💛

No amount of joy can come from a union so fraught with issues like this or someone so captivated and broken by their own self. Hope you find more freedom and peace in the coming days and remain true to yourself.

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