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sounds like a script of Matrix 2021  and beyond🙂. Success doesn't make you or break you. Not all successful people are happy and not all happy people are successful, let it go and chill in doing

I FINALLY PUT THE PIECES TOGETHER. ONLY 29 YEARS. BETTER LATE THAN NEVER. AND I AM JUST GETTING STARTED!  

You seem excited.

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I think I might screwed up this good thing today. I will know next Thursday. Oh well...

 

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I've been receiving compliments all day today. 

On 4/21/2021 at 11:06 AM, dias said:

The manager is back, we had a team meeting this morning. I showed my work, they want some more changes but they all said I did an exceptional job. The manager commented "at least someone completed his work and we can show something to the clients" hahaha.

I had a 1-1 meeting with the head of department again today, I showed him the new changes and he said "you did a beautiful job, it's one of the best pieces of work I've seen the last 3 years. It's truly astounding how fast you implemented it and how fast you learn. It's almost certain we will get the project you want and I am doing my best to put you there. I am trying to hire someone else to do what you call tedious work and I will try to move you to the new project. I want to use your talents, I hope you won't leave the company". So there is a bit of progress on that front. They don't need to hire someone else, they just need to pay me double my current salary. I don't see that happening unfortunately....

 

I had the final interview with another company today, they really pay sh*tload of money, more than double of what I make. It was interesting how things played out. In the first interview I rejected them because they are not using the technologies I want to use. They mentioned to contact them again if I change my mind as they believe I have a great CV. They also mentioned they want to use the new technologies but it will be in 8-9 months from now. I thought about it and I decided I wouldn't mind waiting 8-9 months to work on the projects I want since they pay a lot of money. I went back to them, we had an interview on Wednesday and the final one today. I didn't really screw up but I went off script and I was being too candid which is the worst. I know people say tell the truth and that kind of BS but in reality 99% of the time telling what you think is counterproductive. I just can’t help myself….

Anyway, the interview went well. They concluded "you seem extremely intelligent, you have the right attitude, you have a good CV, we like all your answers, you are very passionate BUT you seem more passionate in Data Science than Data Engineering". I corrected them by saying I am interested in both which is true. Unfortunately, my facial expression betrays what I think and feel. If I am interested in something I can't hide it because I get too excited but it works against me when I am not interested in something because even if my mouth says one thing my face says the opposite. 

The interview was 30 minutes but lasted an hour and they said it was a very pleasant interview. Let’s see, I will have an answer next Thursday.

 

I rejected a position in Western Union, they paid good but I wouldn't be able to collaborate with the business guy * and I didn't like the projects. I have a couple of first round interviews with two other companies next week. I am also waiting for a start-up to come back to me, I sent back the assignment which I nailed so I expect to hear something from them. Fingers crossed, I really like the projects. Even if nothing works out, getting involved in this new project in my current company is a great experience, I would be doing something I like, the only issue is the money here. 

Many compliments today I am telling you. Even the property manager told me I am the best tenant they have ever had lol.

 

*These businesspeople remind me of Christian Bale in American Psycho, the most insecure people ever, they are like frat boys with insecurities of a 13-year-old girl. At some point the guy described the team and what role everyone plays on the team; I wanted to ask him "so everyone is doing something, what are you doing?" fortunately he answered without me asking by saying "I am presenting your findings/work to my manager using Power-point". Unbelievable how unfair and stupid this world can be. There are so many people in the corporate world who do and know absolutely nothing. If you don't contribute practically you need to contribute in some other way so I guess they survive my kissing each other's butts. It's not an easy job to kiss butts apparently since they are getting paid well, it probably depends on the level of dignity and pride you have as a person hahahahaha

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Posted (edited)

What really bothers me is why I haven't succeeded yet. I am at my best right now when it comes to performance. Either psychically or mentally or intellectually. I nail whatever I do. But I am missing something, I am missing a parameter. Maybe I am missing the right opportunity. 

I can't accept reality, I am not meant to be just an employee (even a well-paid one), it's not my destiny. I am meant to do something great. I am missing something, what am I missing....?

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1 hour ago, dias said:

What really bothers me is why I haven't succeeded yet. I am at my best right now when it comes to performance. Either psychically or mentally or intellectually. I nail whatever I do. But I am missing something, I am missing a parameter. Maybe I am missing the right opportunity. 

I think the problem is competition. Not saying you're not the best at what you do. But everyone thinks they're the best. Or--perhaps more importantly--they think that they know the best man for the job--and it's some other dude who may or may not be as good as you are. Point is, it's a jungle out there, and it's a struggle to stake your claim no matter what you do, or how good you are. 

1 hour ago, dias said:

frat boys with insecurities of a 13-year-old girl.

Isn't that being redundant? 😂

1 hour ago, dias said:

If you don't contribute practically you need to contribute in some other way so I guess they survive my kissing each other's butts. It's not an easy job to kiss butts apparently since they are getting paid well, it probably depends on the level of dignity and pride you have as a person

Well, they say that sociopaths have a lot of self importance, but no self respect. And while I wouldn't say that all ass-kissers are straight-up sociopaths, I think perhaps they do possess degrees of sociopathy. My self respect is what makes me want to barf every time I think about kissing up to someone that I detest. But if I had less self respect, it wouldn't be so hard.

And I agree that people like this actually do have a function in society. Sometimes being too morally 'upright' can actually be detrimental. 

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1 hour ago, dias said:

What really bothers me is why I haven't succeeded yet. I am at my best right now when it comes to performance. Either psychically or mentally or intellectually. I nail whatever I do. But I am missing something, I am missing a parameter. Maybe I am missing the right opportunity. 

I can't accept reality, I am not meant to be just an employee (even a well-paid one), it's not my destiny. I am meant to do something great. I am missing something, what am I missing....?

sounds like a script of Matrix 2021  and beyond🙂.

Success doesn't make you or break you. Not all successful people are happy and not all happy people are successful, let it go and chill in doing your own stuff

This weekend am looking at getting a nice sound system for my TV, all paid reviews on youtube are so darn confusing, sony, sonos, JBL, samsung, hdmi erc, digital, bluetooth 5.0, well its exciting to know there is still lot to learn about so many things 

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On 5/8/2021 at 1:22 AM, Spawn said:

sounds like a script of Matrix 2021  and beyond🙂.

It's my theatrical melodramatic story-telling nature😁

On 5/8/2021 at 1:22 AM, Spawn said:

Not all successful people are happy and not all happy people are successful, let it go and chill in doing your own stuff

I am happy, the happiest I've been since primary school. I am not satisfied, this is different. It's not about the money, I make ok money and it's only going to get better, I have enough for a house deposit, I could settle down like a normal person; after all, my colleagues have built their lives working for this company.

Thing is, I am not walking the path I was meant to walk. I can picture myself 20 years from now without any money and I can compromise, I won't like it but I can compromise, it does not scare me! However, I can't stand the idea of failing because I didn't chase enough or didn't take all the necessary risks or even worse became complacent and quit. I just can't stand this notion, it drives me nuts.

I am pretty simple person, as long as I am healthy and have enough to drink a cappuccino, eat a yogurt, hit the gym and run in the countryside I am happy. It's not about the money, the restaurant in the corner makes a lot more than 99% of software engineers, you have a greater chance of making money by running a restaurant or a hair salon than shooting in the dark with apps and tech start-ups. Money is not my main concern, my main concern is I am not walking the path I was born to walk. 

I have come to terms with the fact that I can't compromise with reality and reality does not compromise with me. It's not going to change, I will keep getting disappointed and I will keep trying and maybe this is how the story will end but this is how it's going to be.

 

On 5/8/2021 at 1:22 AM, Spawn said:

This weekend am looking at getting a nice sound system for my TV, all paid reviews on youtube are so darn confusing, sony, sonos, JBL, samsung, hdmi erc, digital, bluetooth 5.0, well its exciting to know there is still lot to learn about so many things 

 

Sounds cool, have fun mate 🙂

 

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On 5/8/2021 at 1:00 AM, Jibralta said:

I think the problem is competition. Not saying you're not the best at what you do. But everyone thinks they're the best. Or--perhaps more importantly--they think that they know the best man for the job--and it's some other dude who may or may not be as good as you are. Point is, it's a jungle out there, and it's a struggle to stake your claim no matter what you do, or how good you are. 

Isn't that being redundant? 😂

 

I am not the best or the cleverest and I don't care to be. These things don't matter that much. I have something that most people don't, I have the character and attitude I have built from all my experiences/adventures/failures. 

There are three parameters: right person + right opportunity + right time. I am missing the last two but it will happen. I feel the right moment and the right opportunity are close. It's not the time to get complacent. 

 

Hahahaha you are right, not even a 13-year old girl can be so insecure. It's been a while since I watched the film but I remember a scene where Christian Bale goes ballistic because one of his colleagues had a nicer looking business card lol. I mean, how can you take these people seriously?  Good thing they don't usually exist in tech companies. 

 

 

 

 

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7 hours ago, dias said:

I am not walking the path I was meant to walk. I can picture myself 20 years from now without any money and I can compromise, I won't like it but I can compromise, it does not scare me! However, I can't stand the idea of failing because I didn't chase enough or didn't take all the necessary risks or even worse became complacent and quit. I just can't stand this notion, it drives me nuts.

I understand this. I was in a similar situation 16 years ago. I think that I was about the same age that you are now. I was 28.

So, what I will tell you is:

  1. It's amazing how fast the time flies, and 
  2. Getting older is real.
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On 5/7/2021 at 8:22 PM, Spawn said:

This weekend am looking at getting a nice sound system for my TV, all paid reviews on youtube are so darn confusing, sony, sonos, JBL, samsung, hdmi erc, digital, bluetooth 5.0, well its exciting to know there is still lot to learn about so many things 

I am interested to know what you ended up choosing.

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10 hours ago, Jibralta said:

 

  1. It's amazing how fast the time flies, and 
  2. Getting older is real.

This was meant to be encouraging?😂

I am fine Jib, not to worry 🙂 I am not leaving my full time job if I haven't something very concrete. Besides, I wouldn't be able to handle the boredom lol. I am not going to be broke in 20 years regardless of what happens 🙂

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45 minutes ago, dias said:

This was meant to be encouraging?😂

No, lol! But it wasn't meant to be discouraging! It was just a statement of fact. I don't feel an ounce of regret for embarking on the career journey I've taken. When I look back to the beginning, I am amazed at how fast time flew by, and I am also aware that it has aged me. These things actually make me feel even better about my decision because they would have happened anyway. But now I can look back knowing that I put that time to good use. 

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On 5/5/2021 at 8:36 PM, dias said:

How do you find my accent?😁 It's a very short clip because I am camera shy 😁

I find it so interesting matching faces/voices to internet personas! You’re very articulate and legible from the short clip, but I agree that filming oneself can be very awkward. I’ve done all of three zoom calls and not in a hurry to do more.

Couldn’t tell you if you sounded particularly Greek - even though I used to work with a guy from Athens years ago. I have a very nondescript accent - apparently I don’t sound very Scottish but when I go to England anywhere they’re like “...you’re not from round here!” haha

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2 hours ago, hidden_kitten said:

I find it so interesting matching faces/voices to internet personas! You’re very articulate and legible from the short clip, but I agree that filming oneself can be very awkward. I’ve done all of three zoom calls and not in a hurry to do more.

Couldn’t tell you if you sounded particularly Greek - even though I used to work with a guy from Athens years ago. I have a very nondescript accent - apparently I don’t sound very Scottish but when I go to England anywhere they’re like “...you’re not from round here!” haha

Thanks 🙂 I am very self-conscious, I am very lenient/non-judgmental when it comes to other people but when it comes to myself I can find 1 million things I don't like lol. 

I work with Scottish daily in this job and they have very nondescript/normal accent. So far, Liverpudlians have the most ermmm peculiar accent I've ever heard. 

What I do like about Scottish girls is that many of them have dark hair and blue eyes, it's quite a sexy combo!

 

 

 

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The kitchen sink is not draining again. Oh boy, I unscrewed the curvy part of the pipe underneath yesterday (the sink was full so you can imagine the mess) but it was clean. I poured hot water, bleach and any other liquid for blockages we have and left it overnight. It was unclogged this morning but it's been draining very slowly again. We didn't throw anything that could cause a blockage, I thought of buying a wire to check the pipe further down but I don't believe this is the issue. I will inform the landlord. 

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6 hours ago, Jibralta said:

Any chance you are on the ground floor or basement level?

Ground floor yes.

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We have a chilled video chat in the mornings at work, it's supposed to bring coworkers more closely since everyone is working remotely. Usually it's only me and a colleague from Dundee. He is a good fellow, we get along pretty well. He has three kids about 4-8 years old and you can always hear noises lol.

They come and greet me sometimes...

Kids...

Hmmm.....

 

 

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Whilst I was drinking my coffee in the garden this morning, a tiny bird crashed into my bedroom window and fell to the ground unconscious. I ran to see if it was dead, fortunately it wasn't, it was standing there without moving at all, I thought it would try to fly once I get near but it didn't, I guess it was too scared and dizzy from the collision. 

I stroked it's belly for about 5-6 minutes, it seemed to like it, it closed its eyes and sat there. Suddenly it started jumping around the garden, it did a full circle and came back to me. I mumbled "I enjoy your chirp in the mornings outside of my window, I don't want to lose you". It seemed to have regained consciousness completely at this point.  

It flied to the nearest tree branch. I was about to leave when a big crow attacked it like a hawk. Fortunately, the little bird managed to elude and hide in a bush. The crow lurked above the bush. I threw a rock to the crow and chased it away. 

I can't change the law of nature and I can't prevent the inevitable from happening but I can postpone it. Not today, not today...

Edited by dias
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Posted (edited)
On 5/9/2021 at 5:45 PM, dias said:

It's my theatrical melodramatic story-telling nature😁

I am happy, the happiest I've been since primary school. I am not satisfied, this is different. It's not about the money, I make ok money and it's only going to get better, I have enough for a house deposit, I could settle down like a normal person; after all, my colleagues have built their lives working for this company.

Thing is, I am not walking the path I was meant to walk. I can picture myself 20 years from now without any money and I can compromise, I won't like it but I can compromise, it does not scare me! However, I can't stand the idea of failing because I didn't chase enough or didn't take all the necessary risks or even worse became complacent and quit. I just can't stand this notion, it drives me nuts.

I am pretty simple person, as long as I am healthy and have enough to drink a cappuccino, eat a yogurt, hit the gym and run in the countryside I am happy. It's not about the money, the restaurant in the corner makes a lot more than 99% of software engineers, you have a greater chance of making money by running a restaurant or a hair salon than shooting in the dark with apps and tech start-ups. Money is not my main concern, my main concern is I am not walking the path I was born to walk. 

I have come to terms with the fact that I can't compromise with reality and reality does not compromise with me. It's not going to change, I will keep getting disappointed and I will keep trying and maybe this is how the story will end but this is how it's going to be.

 

 

Sounds cool, have fun mate 🙂

 

Dias,


Chasing money is definitely not going to make you happy, but as you say, unfulfilled potential will make you feel, less than. As if you have cheated yourself. I get that.  
 

Also, don’t be so sure your corner restaurant is high flying above you. Someone we know, a little old simple software engineer, founded England’s largest software business. He sold it in 2003 for 195 million so, y’know, some of them don’t do too bad 😉


Not too shabby for a geek!

 

Lo x

Edited by mylolita
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1 hour ago, dias said:

Whilst I was drinking my coffee in the garden this morning, a tiny bird crashed into my bedroom window and fell to the ground unconscious. I ran to see if it was dead, fortunately it wasn't, it was standing there without moving at all, I thought it would try to fly once I get near but it didn't, I guess it was too scared and dizzy from the collision. 

I stroked it's belly for about 5-6 minutes, it seemed to like it, it closed its eyes and sat there. Suddenly it started jumping around the garden, it did a full circle and came back to me. I mumbled "I enjoy your chirp in the mornings outside of my window, I don't want to lose you". It seemed to have regained consciousness completely at this point.  

It flied to the nearest tree branch. I was about to leave when a big crow attacked it like a hawk. Fortunately, the little bird managed to elude and hide in a bush. The crow lurked above the bush. I threw a rock to the crow and chased it away. 

I can't change the law of nature and I can't prevent the inevitable from happening but I can postpone it. Not today, not today...

I love this ☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️

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8 hours ago, dias said:

flied

*flew*Argggg this is what happens when I am tired...it pisses me off 

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I am hyped up all the time lately, don't get me wrong I like it but maybe it's time to reduce my daily caffeine intake. Difficult, I don't want to, I like coffee too much, I drink a lot of decaf too which I think has a bit of caffeine. Honestly, if I am like this with caffeine I can't really imagine how I would be with cocaine.

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https://www.verywellmind.com/can-the-five-love-languages-help-your-relationship-4783538#a-closer-look-at-the-love-languages

Developed by Dr. Gary Chapman, an author and counselor, the Five Love Languages are:

Words of Affirmation -> Definitely, that's a must, this is what I do all the time, I compliment people hahaha. I wouldn't say I need people to compliment me but I do appreciate it. 

Quality Time ->Definitely, most important thing

Physical Touch ->Not really, not very touchy outside of the bedroom

Acts of Service -> Yeah not happening, I am not a servant

Receiving Gifts ->Don't give a f*ck about gifts. 

Edited by dias
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