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A new chapter


dias
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The night sky is so clear in Norwich, no clouds, no fumes, I can see millions of stars. It's been a long time since I saw stars in the night sky. The perks of living in a country town I guess. And I sleep so well, I have a hard time falling asleep in general, I thought it was me and the environment didn't matter but damn I sleep so well here every night. Miracle!

I watch the stars and I wonder about the future. I have a gut feeling something significant will happen in the near future. 

I adore nature, it's the magic in our lives. It makes people dream, it makes people explore, it gives people hope for the future...

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Beautiful weather this morning. I am sitting here in the garden enjoying the sun and hearing the birds singing. Unique moments to cherish. I have a bit of work to do but I’ve burnt out. I am not supposed to work on the weekends anyway. Good thing I have almost finished the project, it’s only the testing now. That is, if they don’t change the requirements again next week. I claimed I can do it and I did it. Without any help or guidance which eventually was the best. From now on, I will be placed on the tedious meaningless projects where I won’t learn anything. No more overtime, I will go with the flow, I didn’t promise anything about these mundane projects.

I had a couple of interviews, one was with an American management consulting company in London. It was really funny, I was wearing my pyjamas and my hair was so scruffy lol. I didn’t even prepare about the interview, I don’t know why but I just didn’t bother. Paradoxically it went well lol. Not that I care too much, I am not desperate or anything, now I am going for the money and I am very careful with my choices.

Despite the fact that Norwich does not really excite me as a place, I have a gut feeling that it’s my lucky place. I can’t really tell why. Hmm, how can I describe Norwich. It’s like when you meet people who don’t trigger you any emotions, good or bad, there is this neutrality. It does have some quaint neighbourhoods with medieval architecture but it lacks “personality”. I mean, Liverpool has personality as a city because 1) it’s a harbour 2)has quite unique history 3) Liverpudlians are characters. Norwich is in the middle of nowhere, no sea, people are more neutral, definitely less appealing looks-wise. Somehow though, I kind of like it and I don’t know why. I am glad I moved here.

Will I stay forever? I like to think that I am “able” to settle down in one place. However, I know my nature very well and I believe unless I meet a girl I really really like then I think I will be travelling for the rest of my life. It’s strange because neither of my parents are like that and both me and my brother keep moving from place to place. This is the fourth time I relocated within the UK and he changed 4 countries and travelled around the world lol. I asked him if he is thinking about growing roots in one place but he replied he can’t do it lol. It’s true when you get bitten by the travel bug it’s so difficult not to daydream about other places. This world has a lot to offer, it’s truly an amazing planet. I got left behind a bit career-wise but the experiences I gained from all the places I’ve been make it worth it. Unfortunately, I can either travel a lot or have a successful career but not both. I can work as a freelancer and travel around the globe but I don’t know, it’s way to0 lonely and as I am getting older I yearn for communication and company more. I noticed I become significantly chattier as I am getting older and I yearn for company a lot more.

You know, I believe we should be grateful for people like Elon Musk and Jeff Bezos who try to colonize other planets and make space travel accessible to more people. The next generations will live a second age of exploration, lucky bastards haha. How awesome is that. I get that they are not doing it for free but they certainly don’t do it for the money. There are many billionaires in so many industries (fashion for example) who don’t provide any value to the civilization. I don’t get why tech magnates receive so much criticism, they are the ones who move the world forward. Selling clothes or food is not the same with creating electric cars and selling your vision to the rest of the world. These guys are writing history especially Elon Musk. For what it's worth, tech entrepreneurs are the less greedy entrepreneurs I’ve met.

I derailed as usual lol. What was I writing about? Oh yes, about Norwich. Yes I do somehow like it but I can’t really pinpoint why, there is no “tangible” reason. However, I met people from other parts of the UK who came here years ago and still live here so there must be something that keeps them. The weather is definitely one of them, probably the countryside and the broads as well. Here is a panoramic photo of Norwich.

Norwich panorama.jpg

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Posted (edited)
6 minutes ago, Jibralta said:

Are you searching again, or did this happen a while back?

Searching again but not rushing this time. I can't spend a year or more on obsolete technologies, it's a waste of time. As a developer if you don't know/use the latest technologies you are out of the game, you will never make a decent salary. I am taking my future more seriously now, no more wasting time without a reason.

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Posted (edited)
8 minutes ago, Jibralta said:

It's a good idea to do a job search at your leisure. Do you think you will move again?

Yes, there is a good chance I will end up in London since most jobs are there. I don't want to move to London (like at all) if I could find a job with a good salary in another city (hopefully Norwich, I would like to stay here). However, it's either money or stagnation, there is no middle ground. I should be making double at least, I am way behind. 

Well, it's not something I can determine, it could take a year till I find something better and even if I find something now I wouldn't need to move for the next six months. So I am staying in Norwich for the next 6-8 months anyway 🙂

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The senior software engineer who was one of those who kept changing the requirements and disagreeing with the manager (and me) is back from annual leave. I was prepared to argue if he wanted to change the requirements again but to my great surprise he said I did an excellent job. One naysayer less, now it's only the manager who has to approve. 

Not busy today but I am haggard from last week's workload. I need holidays, I haven't had a day off since September. I booked my wellbeing day this Monday. I just want to chill. I feel very tired in general. I feel my batteries are empty. 

I ordered a 23andme DNA test, I mailed it back this morning. It will take almost two months until I get the results. Hypothetically, there is no reason for me to take it and probably I paid to verify I am Greek (or not lol). I succumbed to my curiosity. 

 

 

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44 minutes ago, dias said:

I was prepared to argue if he wanted to change the requirements again but to my great surprise he said I did an excellent job.

Oh, fantastic. 

44 minutes ago, dias said:

I ordered a 23andme DNA test, I mailed it back this morning. It will take almost two months until I get the results. Hypothetically, there is no reason for me to take it and probably I paid to verify I am Greek (or not lol).

LOL. My mom did her Ancestry test a couple years back. Both her parents were from Sfakia (specifically Loutro), so she knows she's Greek. But it was still interesting to get her results, which actually said she was "Greco-Roman," and quite a bit Middle Eastern. There were significant portions of African and Indian in there, as well. She wasn't terribly surprised by the results. The Greeks were a sea-faring people, they must have gotten around a little!

I got her the 23&Me test, but I don't think she's taken it. I think she's afraid of the medical results lol.

I've taken both tests. My results have changed quite a bit over time. They say this is because their sample size is increasing. According to Ancestry, I am mostly Scottish now. But according to 23&Me, I am Germanic, with a strong emphasis on Swiss. 

Go figure.

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3 hours ago, Jibralta said:

My mom did her Ancestry test a couple years back. Both her parents were from Sfakia (specifically Loutro), so she knows she's Greek. But it was still interesting to get her results, which actually said she was "Greco-Roman," and quite a bit Middle Eastern. There were significant portions of African and Indian in there, as well. She wasn't terribly surprised by the results. The Greeks were a sea-faring people, they must have gotten around a little!

According to Ancestry, I am mostly Scottish now. But according to 23&Me, I am Germanic, with a strong emphasis on Swiss. 

Go figure.

I am not surprised by the results either. Greece is a junction, all the races of the world have passed from there over the centuries. Greeks from the islands have definitely been mixed with more races as they were/are mostly seafaring people. The mainland has been influenced by other races. Add the wars, pillages and migrations over the past few hundred years and nobody is 100% something. 

I know I won't be 100% Greek, my paternal grandfather was a mountaineer from central Greece, my paternal grandmother was from Warsaw, Poland, my maternal grandparents' ancestors were from villages northwest of Constantinople where today belong to Bulgaria and Turkey. What race hasn't passed from Constantinople hahaha? Therefore I assume I would get some unexpected results; well, I paid for this, they better find something I don't expect lol. 

23&Me seems more accurate. Based on the photos you uploaded in the past here, my impression was that you are mostly English (not Scottish) and German (or Swiss German). In one of the photos you had very distinct typical English face. Yes I am able to detect the difference between English facial features and Scottish facial features 4 years here (I mean the typical features). You also appear to have significant portions of German. Anyway, my verdict is English and German, my vision is more precise than DNA tests lol

The question is: Can you carry the genes of a race whilst they are not "visible/recognizable" on your appearance?  What I mean is, is it possible to carry let's say French blood but it wasn't "displayed"? And if yes, can your offspring inherit the French genes and look French while you look German?

In theory, I have 25% Polish blood but I look 100% Greek (the most handsome version of course 😎), do I carry the Polish gene or not? Let's see, I am curious. 

 

 

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Who knows...now that my luck is changing...who knows what can happen in the future...who knows...maybe never..but maybe in a year...maybe in two years...maybe in 5 years...who knows....lol

image.png.13b2ed436485b44008af0599a5d26695.png

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Posted (edited)
12 hours ago, Jibralta said:

What a flirt you are! It's good. 

Me or her or both you mean? lol

She is definitely a flirt and very playful for sure, this is the reason I find her so incredibly attractive. I am extremely flirty as well but only with people who are like me. Honestly, the "there are many matches for everyone" is b*ll***, the last time I really liked a girl was 5 years ago and she was a clever stripper. Now this girl is something else, she checks everything on my list and many more. And I am a very difficult person to satisfy... I haven't met a girl like that before. 

I texted with a couple of girls on Tinder, one British and one Polish both bailed out when I tried to arrange a coffee. I met an American girl, no chemistry whatsoever and she didn't look like in the pics anyway, we hang out every Sunday because we like each other's company. It's so difficult to find chemistry.....

We all know what needs to happen, she needs to break up with her boyfriend and fall in love with me. I have a feeling we will meet again in the future, maybe not in the foreseeable future but definitely somewhere down the road. 

 

 

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Posted (edited)

I need to focus. My priorities in life are changing, no more adventures first, now money first. I need to get a couple of certificates for cloud technologies. If I were working on the latest technologies at work it wouldn't be necessary but now I have to work after work to cover what I should have been learning at work. I mean, it's so silly but this is how it works in software engineering, or you know the latest technologies or you are out of the game and you  spent 5-6 years studying for nothing (let alone the debt and the negative ROI).

They really make a lot of fuss about always keeping up with the latest technologies. At its core, the logic is more or less the same the past 25 years. Imagine having a plain screwdriver to do your job, then as technology progresses new fancy features keep getting added but it's still a freakin screwdriver. The most important thing is your attitude, to keep learning and getting the job done, everything else comes second. It seems people don't get it though. 

Oh well, I don't make the rules...so I have to play by the rules. 

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Posted (edited)
On 4/16/2021 at 1:20 AM, LotusBlack said:

She turned out to be one of the richest women in China and had a 10 year old son at the time and whose father lived in New Zealand (we’re Australian). She was so much richer than my father and had a pathway to NZ (and therefore Australia), so we never suspected she had ulterior  motives. They got married and lived in China half the time and Aus the other half. 5 years they were together. 5. She was the sweetest woman that whole time. Literally, the day she got her Australian green card the switch flipped and she became the nastiest person I’ve ever met. She took my poor father for everything he had and he had to leave retirement and go back to work.

 

 

Something does not add up here. Very rich people buy green cards, they don't get married for visas, this is the procedure for poor opportunist lol. She must have been a very good con artist to sell this story so well. 

I never really understood these men who go to Eastern Europe or Asia or wherever for the sole purpose of finding a woman to bring to their home country like the dude in this thread. This is how generalizations are created. 

OP's story is the quintessential story of this kind. Let's put things into perspective. A guy who can't find local women for whatever reason thinks foreign women are "better" or hopes he has better chances with them. As it happens, very coincidentally,  these foreign women are from poorer countries than his. What he doesn't want to think is that no woman is waiting for him in another country with the exception of very poor ruthless gold-diggers. 

I've seen this scenario many times, western guys visiting Ukraine or Asia thinking hot women are waiting for them. It turns out the best they can find are gold-diggers or escorts (and usually the ugly ones). If they are desperate, they bring them to their home country and we know the rest of the story. I am not judging by the way, if it's a win-win transaction this is awesome. This is how generalizations are created about women from certain countries, from desperate men marrying foreign gold-diggers. Not a great sample to form generalizations, is it now?

I have found there are two main reasons women would date a foreigner. Or they will benefit somehow or they have a thing for people of your race/ethnicity. So no, except from gold-diggers, women in "poorer" countries are not waiting for the "rich" (probably lower middle class in his country) western guy. Certainly not the hot ones, they can always find a local rich guy. The majority of people value comfort more than anything, it's human nature, there must be a very good reason for a woman to date a foreigner (unlike men).   

Also, one more mistake these guys make is that they think women in these countries are more submissive. Hahahaha they don't know things are usually the opposite of what they appear. 

It's funny me saying this but I would advise the average person not to date a foreigner. Dating a foreigner might be fun and exciting due to differences but these differences also impose very practical obstacles. Cultural differences are real. Now most marriages fail anyway, be it with locals or foreigners so why stress about it? This is why I believe do what you want in life, it doesn't really matter, the outcome will always be the same lol. 

How do you overcome cultural differences? This is a question I am more than qualified to answer. You adapt, you retrain your brain, you keep changing, this is how you do it. If you value your comfort definitely don't marry a foreigner, it's a recipe for disaster. However, if you are a successful individual or someone who travels a lot, you would find it easier as adaptability is already in your vocabulary. 

 

PS. How can I quote someone without displaying their name? Yeah, I know, I am an abysmal computer scientist. lol

 

 

 

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3 hours ago, dias said:

I never really understood these men who go to Eastern Europe or Asia or wherever for the sole purpose of finding a woman to bring to their home country like the dude in this thread. This is how generalizations are created.

I don't know... in my opinion they make better wives than the typical American woman/Westernized woman.  

American women are incredibly selfish... not that the women from the other cultures aren't that way as well, but sometimes, you can find a better one over there because the chances are higher.  My mom does come from a traditional Polish background.  I do accredit a lot of things that make me different from the average (terrible) American wife/mom is due to that EE background of valuing and seeing life differently.

I think there are differences though between EE and Asian women that are important though.  Both can be opportunists, but I'm not sure which can be worst about it... I'm certain it depends on the specific woman's character.

I've seen Asian female/white male relationships work out great!!  And go wonderfully.  And then I've seen some that are terrible, some also where the Asian woman really puts on an act for a very long time to get what she wants.  Personally, I've only seen Asian women be extremely and utterly ruthless... like to a scary degree.  Russian women may be ruthless, but I'm not sure it is to the extent the Asian woman takes it.  They have much higher IQ's, and really look down on Western males (sometimes... NOT all the time).  I've seen it play out in marriages we know where if the white man isn't doing what he's expected to do perfectly, he loses the love of his Asian wife and she berates and humiliates him.

But then American women/Western women do that all the time, too, they just don't pretend to be kind/respectful/interested first typically.

I don't know Dias... it is a crazy topic.

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3 hours ago, dias said:

Also, one more mistake these guys make is that they think women in these countries are more submissive. Hahahaha they don't know things are usually the opposite of what they appear. 

 

I don't know... I've known some marriages where they are both incredibly happy with each other, and the man swears it's because he found an Asian wife that values things differently and treats him kind, respectful, loving, affectionate.  

It is possible, not sure on the statistics or probability.

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Posted (edited)

The idea of arranged marriages seems so alien. Can you imagine your parents picking your partner? 

It's laughable in my case. I can't imagine my parents finding me someone. They are both against marriage so the idea is preposterous in the first place, however, it would be fun to see what my parents would pick for me. 

I wouldn't trust my mother apparently, but I would trust my father, as a womanizer he knows his stuff lol. I wouldn't object to the idea though as long the bride is rich or very hot or take awesome blowjobs I am all in hahaha with emphasis on the last one, damn, it's more rare than being rich hahahaha

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Posted (edited)

We can start working from the office again but we are not obliged to. It just dawned on me I can work from anywhere. In theory, I am allowed to work from anywhere as long as I am in the UK but not from another country as they monitor IP addresses etc. I did it in my previous job though and nobody suspected anything. 

However, I might risk it. I can change countries as I please. Oh man, there are so many places I want to visit. Covid tests are the issue, I have to pay for a test before I leave the UK, one before I enter the UK and two when I am back in the UK. What a hassle.

But as soon as things get back to normal and if the company does not require to work from the office full time I am gone. I will change countries every month. There are so many places I want to visit. For starters New Orleans, Rio de Janeiro, Buenos Aires, Cape town… Oh mate, I am getting an erection even thinking about it.

Tech companies have become more flexible and open with remote work so hopefully things will stay the same.

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The manager is back, we had a team meeting this morning. I showed my work, they want some more changes but they all said I did an exceptional job. The manager commented "at least someone completed his work and we can show something to the clients" hahaha. I was thinking "dude, I do what I say, I don't talk about stuff, I do stuff". 

I played enough in my life so far, now it's time to make money, time to get rich. 

 

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I have booked so many interviews I can't keep tabs on. For once, I am wanted. What a nice feeling! Until I got this job almost nobody replied back. Companies have the same mentality as women, if you have been approved by someone else then it means you are good. It's so untrue though. Well, this is how most people think, I can't change it so I roll with it. 

Is it the name of the company? is it Norwich? is the water different here? I don't know but finally things are changing. I have to exploit this opportunity as much as I can. No impulsive decisions though, I am very careful. And I ask for money, I am not compromising a freakin dime this time. 

Damn, it feels good to be wanted. 

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Based on my recent experience, I strongly recommend that you do keep tabs. It was certainly the last thing I wanted to think about doing after the interview was over. But when the offers finally started rolling in, I really wished that I had done it.

23 minutes ago, dias said:

if you have been approved by someone else then it means you are good.

When you say "approved by someone else," do you mean "currently employed?" If so, I sort of agree. But I think there's more to it than that.

When I was starting to have trouble at my current job, my boyfriend said, "Just quit! We'll be ok." And I seriously considered it. But I'm glad I didn't do it. I can just imagine how I would have felt when an interviewer asked me why I left my current job. I would have felt like a quitter, like I could have done better, and that would have shown. And what would I have said? I left because I just couldn't take it any more? That would sound terrible. 

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3 hours ago, Jibralta said:

Based on my recent experience, I strongly recommend that you do keep tabs. It was certainly the last thing I wanted to think about doing after the interview was over. But when the offers finally started rolling in, I really wished that I had done it.

When you say "approved by someone else," do you mean "currently employed?" If so, I sort of agree. But I think there's more to it than that.

When I was starting to have trouble at my current job, my boyfriend said, "Just quit! We'll be ok." And I seriously considered it. But I'm glad I didn't do it. I can just imagine how I would have felt when an interviewer asked me why I left my current job. I would have felt like a quitter, like I could have done better, and that would have shown. And what would I have said? I left because I just couldn't take it any more? That would sound terrible. 

I am trying. For the first round of interviews with the HR, I always regurgitate the same poem, easy-peasy. For the rest of the interviews I regurgitate the same poem but in depth and customized for each company. The issue is the technical tests/assignments. Some are easy, some are doable and some are pretty hardcore. If I pass the test then it's up to them to decide whether I am a good fit. I know my act pretty well, I don't have any issues with selling myself. It's a shame I am not an actor, this is what I am thinking....

Yes I meant "approved" by my current employer. It's a big name in the market. I have to monetize it properly. Like a true hustler hahaha

No no no, no intention of quitting, no reason at all. I never quitted in my previous jobs because I couldn't handle it. Yes I quitted two times in my life (right after getting a big pay raise) for adventures. Am I uniquely stupid or what hahahahahaha

And for you my dear Jib:

 

 

Norwich Bishop Bridge.jpg

Norwich Riverside.jpg

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