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Hey guys just struggling with some ex girlfriend nonsense. So I was dating this girl and she was fantastic. Feminine, kind, the stuff you look for in a girl. That being said around august of last year, she began to break up with me. Not in the literal sense but saying "I think we should brake up". I always told her that if she wanted to leave the door was open and she never went through with it. Towards the end of the month she asked me for some space and I gave it to her. We saw each other after a week and she told me that she had gone to her friends house to study. I didn't react then and stayed in frame. I thought she was cheating or setting up for the monkey branch. I wanted to confront her about it but before I got the chance she came to my house grave some gifts and dropped a breakup letter.
 I called her, yelling and she hung up. I tried to call her on everything but she had blocked me. Later that night she called me to talk and basically broke. We went no contact for about 8 months. She reached out for my birthday witch is in January to wish me happy birthday. I thought that was a good sign. I thought that she was thinking about me or i was still in her head. To months latter I saw something that reminded me of her an reached out. At first she took two days to reply but then answered after 2- 4 hours. I scheduled to give her a present I forgot to give her. I dropped of the gift and saw her. She seemed so happy to see me but was reserved and I could tell. Latter that night she texted me telling me that I changed nothing between us. We texted back and forth a bit more where she told me that she 'can't be in relationship with me'.
  I waited  till i got off work and gave her a call and she picked up. I made the mistake of asking her about that day. She told me she didn't cheat (honestly I believe her). She began to cry and texted me she was having a panic attack. I tried to call to calm her down but she blocked me only from Imessage and nothing else. Feeling the breakup anxiety i began to call her and text on whatsapp but she turned off her phone. I know I shouldn't have tried to call her or text desperately. She still has me on Facebook and WhatsApp unblocked. I have stopped all texting her ( I only tried calling that night not after) giving her the space she needs. I'm pretty sure its all hopeless now. But what do you guys think? Is it as hopeless as I am thinking?

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She should have just left all alone and not reached out over your B-day... that just led you on to think she was interested again.

Is time you faced reality and left her alone.

Do not reach out again.. get the point, especially when you are causing her distress to where she has to block and avoid you... this is not good.

Stop.

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19 minutes ago, Solomeo said:

I called her, yelling and she hung up. I tried to call her on everything but she had blocked me.

She reached out for my birthday witch is in January to wish me happy birthday.

We texted back and forth a bit more where she told me that she 'can't be in relationship with me'.

Sorry this is happening. Try to let go. It wasn't working out, so it's best to step back. Stay no contact.

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Probably what stood out to me most was the way you think of the situation. It's not "nonsense" if you're hurt or sad. It's not nonsense if you're harassing someone or continuing to push for a reaction you're not getting. I know you didn't mean it literally but it says a lot about your mindframe.. you're minimizing and dismissing what's going on because it's a coping mechanism. 

What you feel is valid. What you're doing is wrong. When someone closes that door to a relationship or opportunities to reconcile, only respect that and step away. It's better to validate what you feel and what you're going through than dismiss it for something worthless or undeserving. You are a human being too so don't forget that. 

This is not reconcilable. I think you need to start with validating what you're feeling and then you can really start to let go.  

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I think that you should have blocked her.  I don’t know why she reached out,  bit clearly she is not interested.  
 

You  need to lose her number as you are looking a bit crazy in your attempted contact

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2 hours ago, Rose Mosse said:

Probably what stood out to me most was the way you think of the situation. It's not "nonsense" if you're hurt or sad. It's not nonsense if you're harassing someone or continuing to push for a reaction you're not getting. I know you didn't mean it literally but it says a lot about your mindframe.. you're minimizing and dismissing what's going on because it's a coping mechanism. 

What you feel is valid. What you're doing is wrong. When someone closes that door to a relationship or opportunities to reconcile, only respect that and step away. It's better to validate what you feel and what you're going through than dismiss it for something worthless or undeserving. You are a human being too so don't forget that. 

This is not reconcilable. I think you need to start with validating what you're feeling and then you can really start to let go.  

How do i validate my feelings? I'm just feeling so anxious at the moment. Can't keep my head straight. Can't focus. do you have any advice?

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1 hour ago, Solomeo said:

How do i validate my feelings? I'm just feeling so anxious at the moment. Can't keep my head straight. Can't focus. do you have any advice?

What I mean is acceptance. Try to accept everything that's going on. You don't have to try so hard to make someone love you or want to be with you. She's telling you nothing's changed and she isn't reciprocating what you feel. I always think the first two weeks after a break up is the worst and the most raw. All that fatigue will just seep out of your pores in the coming days and it's exhaustion after being so anxious and nervous. Not a pleasant feeling. I think you are just not letting yourself recover from these shocks and you keep looking to her to accept you and love you again. This means that every time you get your hopes up and it's dashed, you go through another type of break up and the anxiety must be agonizing. It's denial that it's over and you keep damaging yourself each time you get your hopes up and she shuts you down. 

Continuing like this doesn't help your cause either because not only are you not thinking straight, the other person won't respect you or worse, will feel disrespected and you'll find yourself with a restraining order or mixed up with the law. Don't do it. 

Think of you from now onwards, your own best interests because no one is looking out for you now and the relationship is over. Do whatever it takes to keep yourself busy, healthy and carry on with your life. 

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