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So there’s this girl I started snapchatting like the beginning of January cuz her best friend (who is like a sister to me) mentioned during a night of drinking that she thinks we would be great for each other. And this is a girl who I’ve had a little bit of a crush on since I first met her (adorable, nerdy but in a cute way, hilarious) so the fact that she started snapping back was a great feeling. At first, I was told it would be a marathon not a sprint, that it would take time to get with her. Funny this is that one Friday night, my friend was telling me that I gotta be patient, but the NEXT NIGHT, I had a gathering and ended up hooking up with the girl I was talking to! Very quick shortcut during the mile I guess! After that we continued to snapchat but we never really hung out alone together which I wanted to change. So one night I asked her what she was doing and she sent her screen of notes that she was studying, so I asked her if she wanted to get milkshakes and she agreed. We got milkshakes then went to my friend’s house to watch a movie and then I dropped her off at home at 4am. The next night, three girls come over my place (including my friend and the girl I was talking to) to smoke and hang out. It got late and two girls got up to leave but THE GIRL (that’s how I’ll refer to her now to avoid confusion) decided to stay back a little longer. Now that is an obvious tell that she probably wanted to do something, but we were both so high that I got paranoid that she didn’t wanna do anything and I didn’t (very stupid on my part), and when she left for home I was distraught but not too upset cuz I thought that I’d have another chance in the future.

Here’s where things get wack. So during the smoking night, she got a surprise Snapchat from a guy from her past (one who has ghosted her and kinda played with her feelings) asking if she had a valentine this year (lame in my opinion). By her reaction, I thought I was in the clear, she seemed weirded out and confused by the message so I was chillin. Well the week went by and the amount of snapchats she sent a day completely plummeted. I was shocked and confused as to what was happening and eventually she apologized days later for lowkey ghosting and I didn’t wanna seem upset so I was like “nah u good how’s your day been” and she revealed that she had started talking to the kid again and got lunch with him. When speaking with my friend about it, she told me the second THE GIRL told her, she was very upset (cuz she hates the kid) but of course as a friend had to support the decision.

It’s been weeks since then and we still Snapchat and she comes over with my friend when my house host gatherings, but I can’t stop thinking about her. As seen by how it started, she is a wildcard to the extent that even her best friend doesn’t know where her heads at. This was confirmed when a few days ago, I asked my friend if I should give up on the prospect of THE GIRL and to be completely honest cuz it would not hurt me if she told me THE GIRL is not interested, and she told me “I have no clue, I’m so sorry but she is a complete mystery to me”. I spoke with my friends roommate later that night (slaughtered drunk btw) cuz THE GIRL visits my friends house often, and he told me that THE GIRL has been on at least two dates, which is not a lot considering the timeframe.

What I’m trying to figure out is whether I should just give up on the idea of us. Right now I’m just playing it cool with her but I don’t know what to do. Like I’m in this weird spot with her cuz I’m best friends with her best friend so I’m pretty close with HER. It’s not like I’m only a love interest that can fall off the face of the Earth and come back. I can’t just ask her where her heads at or how things are going with the kid (cuz I don’t know if they are still talking but I’m just assuming they are) cuz that would make things weird/awkward between us and I can’t afford that. I would give up if I didn’t know that we work so well together. People see it, she saw it, I see it. For the first time in years I see true promise in someone. I don’t think I’ve wanted a relationship with someone more since high school. 
Obviously this was a lot to read and nobody has any knowledge of these people, but I thought I’d put my situation out there and any and all advice is appreciated. Thank you!

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Why don't you ask her on a date? 

Not a group hangout. Not asking her friend about her. Ask her directly if she would like to do something with you, just the two of you. 

That will tell you what you need to know. 

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3 hours ago, WalnutStreet said:

 THE GIRL  decided to stay back a little longer. Now that is an obvious tell that she probably wanted to do something.

How old is she? It's great you have a crush but it seems like you blew it by getting too wasted.

Step away from all this. Stop listening to this meddling friend.

Get on some quality dating apps (if you are over 18) and start talking to and meeting girls.

Leave this crush alone for now.

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In my opinion you've been playing it cool too much. You're really into her but you've never actually told her how much you like her or asked her on a date. She probably doesn't even know that you actually want to date her because every interaction you've had wasn't date like at all. Getting stoned in a group of people, hooking up drunk at a party, hanging out and getting milkshakes is not dating. If I was her I would think that this guy wants to be friends, get high together and hooked up for fun while at a party. If you never actually said to her you like her or asked on a date, she wouldn't know what you want. You need to actually say to her that you like her and ask her to a dinner date or something that is very obviously a date.

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Women don't want a man who goes snooping off getting hints and tips from their best friend about what they're feeling. She sounds like a mystery because she's probably secretly fed up of people talking about her behind her back or trying to track her every move. She's just too nice or too naive/young to tell all of you. 

No more checking up on her. If you want to ask her out, do it the old fashioned way. Call her and ask her out for dinner. If she says no, then it means she's not interested in you. Don't beat yourself up over it. There are plenty of other fish in the sea.

 

 

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The GIRL is playing the field. She ain't lookin for a BF, she likes to hook up with a guy once in awhile by the looks of it. If this girl was serious about you, should won't have dropped you like a hot potato to seek out another conquest. This has nothing to do with what any of these guys DO to get her attention...she can get it herself by her choice.

Edited by smackie9
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9 hours ago, WalnutStreet said:

. I would give up if I didn’t know that we work so well together. People see it, she saw it, I see it. For the first time in years I see true promise in someone.

Sadly, you do not work well together... She is playing the field, as mentioned.

I gather you two are still young.  Don't count on anything real with her.

Leave it alone & don't get your hopes up.  You were a hook up and now she's hanging with some other dude.

Continue to snapchat (w/e) you're doing, if you please, but don't look at her for more of anything.  She is not settled.

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