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So basically my gf loves to be a tease, at the start of our relationship we used to have sex maybe once and sometimes twice a day which was amazing. She used to tease a lot but we would have sex to relive it so it was fine. Nowadays it’s a little less than that which I guess I’m going to have to live with because I have a high sex drive. The problem is that she teases me a lot, I don’t mean just suggestive comments or just the biting of the ear, I mean she will start wanking me off and getting me really worked up until I go crazy. I could be halfway towards finishing and she will still stop. She knows she does this, the problem is this leaves me hanging and feeling very sexually frustrated. She won’t let me tease her, she just says I’m “bad” or I’m “disgusting” and pushes me away. She admitted that she has to be in the mood in the first place but then said she won’t let me tease her back because she doesn’t want to be left wanting to have sex. I know she struggles to have sex if there are things playing on her mind and things she needs to do. 
There’s been times before where we have been halfway through sex and she has just stopped and blue balled me because she thinks it is funny. I have spoke to her about this teasing and she just replied saying “Fine I will get another boyfriend who can handle it” turns out she didn’t mean that. she also knows I have very sensitive balls and that it aches me a lot when I am left like that, she said not long ago she was getting pissed off with me always complaining about my balls and that it was making her want sex with me even less. She has also said that she doesn’t like the idea of me wanking, I don’t really know what to do, I’ve never had this problem before. She promised before that she wouldn’t tease like this but since she has, she makes wind up comments saying “I’m going to tease you all day” or “your not getting laid tonight if your going to be moody”. Problem is, I’m only moody because I’m blue balled in the first place. She already admitted to using sex to manipulate me but I just need to find a solution to this.

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Yes it is sometimes true that women are not able to have sex if they have things on their mind or are worried or anxious. But is that actually the situation here? Her behaviour is poor taste IMHO and not respectful to a partner. She openly admits that she uses sex to be manipulative. I don’t know why you would act this way towards someone you care about. Does she has low self esteem where she needs to do this to feel good about herself and wanted? 

Edited by sweethome22
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6 minutes ago, sweethome22 said:

Yes it is sometimes true that women are not able to have sex if they have things on their mind or are worried or anxious. But is that actually the situation here? Her behaviour is poor taste IMHO and not respectful to a partner. She openly admits that she uses sex to be manipulative. I don’t know why you would act this way towards someone you care about. Does she has low self esteem where she needs to do this to feel good about herself and wanted? 

Yeah she gets very stressed and can’t settle when there’s things that need to be done, I think that’s in general and with sex, a lot of the time she just enjoys being a tease, I don’t think she sees it as bad, she thinks she’s just being a tease and that I love it, she often gets in the mood but doesn’t always act on it if she knows there’s things to do, I think she does enjoy feeling wanted, she’s an attractive girl and she knows this but when she asks why I’m so in the mood she gets annoyed when I say it’s because of any reason other than her, she’s has been frustrated before if I can’t finish and instantly blames herself, she has spoke of bullying issues in the past and her behaviours towards others and at times to me have suggested low self esteem may be the case. She has had dreams before of me cheating so she may be anxious/worried.

Edited by Mirrorman96
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You're letting her attractiveness override the fact that she's deliberately cruel to you and playing mind games. Calls you disgusting. Laughs at you when you're in pain. You're the one with low self esteem to think this is all you're worthy of. The solution is to break up and date an attractive woman who isn't a mental case.

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How is teasing you and tormenting you sexually an intimate and loving experience? This sounds like a very cruel way to manipulate and control you and make you feel excited about sex and then discarding you for a humorous thrill. I have no idea what kind of sick thrill she get's out of this, but clearly it is not normal or fair to you.  This sounds a bit deranged to me and no one deserves that.

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This is a slave/dom arrangement. If you both haven't talked about it or agreed to it or what you like in the bedroom, it's not going to work. It requires consent between two individuals. No one should be treated like this if it's not consensual.

She needs to see someone or talk with someone about the bullying issues in the past or if she's experiencing anxiety or nightmares. From the sounds of it she doesn't like the relationship at all but it's coming out in harsh or resentful ways. 

Edited by Rose Mosse
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2 hours ago, Rose Mosse said:

This is a slave/dom arrangement. If you both haven't talked about it or agreed to it or what you like in the bedroom, it's not going to work. It requires consent between two individuals. No one should be treated like this if it's not consensual.

She needs to see someone or talk with someone about the bullying issues in the past or if she's experiencing anxiety or nightmares. From the sounds of it she doesn't like the relationship at all but it's coming out in harsh or resentful ways. 

I don’t think for one second she doesn’t like the relationship, I think she sees no harm in what she’s doing 

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3 hours ago, Andrina said:

You're letting her attractiveness override the fact that she's deliberately cruel to you and playing mind games. Calls you disgusting. Laughs at you when you're in pain. You're the one with low self esteem to think this is all you're worthy of. The solution is to break up and date an attractive woman who isn't a mental case.

She doesn’t laugh when I’m in pain, she doesn’t like blue balling me, she just likes being a tease 

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6 hours ago, Mirrorman96 said:

She admitted that she has to be in the mood in the first place but then said she won’t let me tease her back because she doesn’t want to be left wanting to have sex.

Then this goes both ways...

6 hours ago, Mirrorman96 said:

. I have spoke to her about this teasing and she just replied saying “Fine I will get another boyfriend who can handle it” turns out she didn’t mean that. she also knows I have very sensitive balls and that it aches me a lot when I am left like that, she said not long ago she was getting pissed off with me always complaining about my balls and that it was making her want sex with me even less.

This is immature- her behaviour.  No respect.

( Think on this... there's always a little truth in a joke).

YOU have to speak up and mean it - saying it either happens or don't even go there... and go deal with it on your own, if she does this action with you?

6 hours ago, Mirrorman96 said:

She already admitted to using sex to manipulate me but I just need to find a solution to this.

Yup, that she is.

6 hours ago, Mirrorman96 said:

a lot of the time she just enjoys being a tease, I don’t think she sees it as bad, she thinks she’s just being a tease and that I love it

She knows it's bad.. she admitted it (form of control- manipulates).

How can you love it, when you whine about it - which in turn pisses her off?  This is so unhealthy 😞 

6 hours ago, Mirrorman96 said:

t when she asks why I’m so in the mood she gets annoyed when I say it’s because of any reason other than her,

Huh?  that is jealousy - ever think she is not in the right mind?

She has issues?

52 minutes ago, Mirrorman96 said:

She’s 18 so a fair amount younger than me 

How much younger is she?  SHE is just plain immature and messed up.  None of this is 'normal'.

She needs to get in for some therapy ya think? And grow up.

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2 hours ago, Mirrorman96 said:

She’s 18 so a fair amount younger than me 

She is very young and still learning about her own sexuality. You are not trapped in this relationship. If you don't like her, move on.

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4 minutes ago, Jibralta said:

She is very young and still learning about her own sexuality. You are not trapped in this relationship. If you don't like her, move on.

And unless you make it very clear, she will consider this to be acceptable and normal for a relationship which it isn’t.

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24 minutes ago, sweethome22 said:

And unless you make it very clear, she will consider this to be acceptable and normal for a relationship which it isn’t.

What, is he her father or something?! Trainer? Yuck. How is it his place to teach her a lesson? Let the girl be.

Edited by Jibralta
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4 minutes ago, Jibralta said:

What, is he her father or something?! Yuck. How is it his place to teach her a lesson? Let the girl be.

Being her father wasn’t mentioned. He clearly wants to stay with her and is defending her. To not say make it clear when something is a problem is just enabling her. 

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Just now, sweethome22 said:

To not say make it clear when something is a problem is just enabling her.

He needs boundaries. He needs to stand up for himself. He needs to leave if he doesn't feel fulfilled by this relationship.

She's not a drug addict or a gambler, and he's not 'enabling' her. He's not responsible for her. He doesn't have authority over her

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50 minutes ago, sweethome22 said:

she will consider this to be acceptable and normal for a relationship which it isn’t.

It's a BDSM situation he's bragging about, not abuse.

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