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So I've been wanting to tell my partner a few things. She knows I suffer my depression and other mental illnesses, but she's unaware that I turned to edibles (like weed brownies) and alcohol as a form of escape whenever I felt unhappy. And I also don't know how she'll react, but I was flirting with someone else at the start of our relationship. There were no secret intentions or anything, but the fact still stands and I know it's wrong. I'm just scared I'll end up alone.

Edited by BRabbit
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Flirting is not cheating so I wouldn't mention that at all. Please tell her that you are using drugs (not sure if they are legal where you are) and that you are developing a drinking problem -because if she finds out on her own it will be worse and of course if she finds out because you end up harming yourself or her much much worse.  Do you drive while under the influence? You won't be alone if you don't have a girlfriend -what gave you that idea?

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Agree with everything Batya said. 

The flirting? At least from where I sit, your dwelling on that is likely linked to depression—you searching for ways to punish yourself, to validate a story that you are unworthy of...well, of something. Her. Love. Happiness. Not for me to say, but it really seems in that case that you're building a phantom transgression. 

The edibles, the booze? Yes, tell her, as you've told us. How often are you doing this? Aside from this, what else are you doing to treat depression? 

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10 minutes ago, bluecastle said:

Agree with everything Batya said. 

The flirting? At least from where I sit, your dwelling on that is likely linked to depression—you searching for ways to punish yourself, to validate a story that you are unworthy of...well, of something. Her. Love. Happiness. Not for me to say, but it really seems in that case that you're building a phantom transgression. 

The edibles, the booze? Yes, tell her, as you've told us. How often are you doing this? Aside from this, what else are you doing to treat depression? 

Phantom transgression? As for the edibles and booze, the booze is already out of my life, and edibles are a terrible idea since my tolerance skyrocketed, and I don't want to be spending money to feel happy for a couple hours anymore. Video games are pretty much the only safe thing I have.

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Yeah.. booze and depression, don't mix 😞 .. Just adds to it, so if you are not taking that, good! :)

Edibles, I've got those, my son smokes it.. his choice.  I don't find that kind of thing such a big deal- if it's helpful.

Being flirty with someone is okay... as mentioned, can leave that alone..

Please.. do NOT look at being involved  so you won't be 'alone'.. that never works out.

The thing is... are you truly compatible.. can your relationship flourish... What if it doesn't?  (that does happen).. and sometimes, the negativity of the whole experience will affect you again 😞 

Not sure how long you've been involved, but try to take it easy...

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4 hours ago, BRabbit said:

I turned to edibles (like weed brownies) and alcohol as a form of escape whenever I felt unhappy. 

Ok you're long distance, she's unhappy, you're unhappy.

16 weeks of dating is a good time to reassess and consider setting both of yourselves free from all this.

That way she has the space she needs to study/work and you have the space you need to address your addictions and depression.

On 3/4/2021 at 3:38 PM, BRabbit said:

My LDR partner and I have been dating for almost 4 months now. She has stated that she can't give me as much as I give her, because she has school and work.

I'm not afraid to let go at this point

 

Edited by Wiseman2
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On 3/6/2021 at 8:44 AM, BRabbit said:

I also don't know how she'll react, but I was flirting with someone else at the start of our relationship.

What would be your purpose in telling her this?

If your fear is ending up alone, then decide why you'd position yourself to push someone away?

It's not necessary, it's sabotage.

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