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Asked A Co-worker Out


Smartalexx
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I asked a coworker out for drinks yesterday. She hasnt responded to my text. We've been off the past couple of days, now I'm worried things are gonna be awkward when we return to work tomorrow. ***. Bad move?

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2 hours ago, Smartalexx said:

I asked a coworker out for drinks yesterday. She hasnt responded to my text. We've been off the past couple of days, now I'm worried things are gonna be awkward when we return to work tomorrow. ***. Bad move?

Was it for a specific time? did she just not answer yet or at all? Just let the dust settle and act professional and business-as-usual.

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You think things seem off now?

Good idea not to go further than what you've done at this point. (ie expect no more than friends).  Or it'll become even more awkward... being involved w/ a co-worker.

 

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2 hours ago, Wiseman2 said:

Was it for a specific time? did she just not answer yet or at all? Just let the dust settle and act professional and business-as-usual.

Kind of a specific time. Asked of she was also not working tomorrow (which is now today) and if she wanted to go grab drinks. She hasn't answered at all. 

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1 hour ago, SooSad33 said:

You think things seem off now?

Good idea not to go further than what you've done at this point. (ie expect no more than friends).  Or it'll become even more awkward... being involved w/ a co-worker.

 

A little off. Haven't known her that long but odd that she wouldnt respond at all. 

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I originally met my husband at work but we didn't work in the same department.  When he asked me out I wasn't sure if he meant it as a date -he called me and asked if I wanted to meet for lunch  - we made a plan and met.  Honestly when I saw his name on my caller ID on my office phone I was baffled as to why he was calling -I knew him, had met and spoken with him a couple of times including at a company event a few days earlier - but it just never occurred to me.   I said yes because it was just lunch during the work day.  Had he asked me out for drinks I wouldn't have said yes on the spot - I would have felt odd/uncomfortable.

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3 minutes ago, Batya33 said:

I originally met my husband at work but we didn't work in the same department.  When he asked me out I wasn't sure if he meant it as a date -he called me and asked if I wanted to meet for lunch  - we made a plan and met.  Honestly when I saw his name on my caller ID on my office phone I was baffled as to why he was calling -I knew him, had met and spoken with him a couple of times including at a company event a few days earlier - but it just never occurred to me.   I said yes because it was just lunch during the work day.  Had he asked me out for drinks I wouldn't have said yes on the spot - I would have felt odd/uncomfortable.

It did briefly cross my mind that drinks might be a wrong choice but there is some context as to why I went with it

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Perhaps she wishes to remain professional with you; no more no less. 

If she continues to make you wait for a reply and obviously ignores your text, there is your answer.  Don't bother her, don't pester her nor hound her.  She is obviously not interested in you so take the hint and message.  Back off.

It won't be awkward at work as long as you act natural, be kind in a non-weird way, keep a safe, polite distance, remain professional and leave it at that. 

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10 minutes ago, Smartalexx said:

It did briefly cross my mind that drinks might be a wrong choice but there is some context as to why I went with it

Yes- she probably mentioned a bar she likes or something.  I get it.  

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Leave it for now and don't stress. She could have seen the message, already been out with friends or busy and then forgotten to respond. You'll find out soon enough tomorrow. Keep your talks light and work-related. It doesn't have to be awkward. 

 

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1 minute ago, Batya33 said:

Yes- she probably mentioned a bar she likes or something.  I get it.  

The context is that this past weekend on a work trip we did kinda sorta have drinks after work together at our hotel. It was more of a friendly thing but we also went swimming...so yeah I didnt think asking her out for drinks was too out of left field

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It doesn't have to be awkward unless you make it awkward. Play it cool at work, keep it professional, and don't bring up the text. She may bring it up herself ("Oh hey! I'm sorry I didn't respond, I was already out for the night! Let me know when you want to get drinks in the future!") or she may not bring it up at all. Ball is in her court now. I would just act normal, not mention the message at all, and keep things status quo. 

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Unfortunately it's not whether you asked for drinks or this or that. 

She's simply not interested. Perhaps she's with someone, perhaps she doesn't date co-workers, etc.

So, just act normal and professional at work. Don't say anything... and more importantly don't ask her out again.

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