Is this acceptable behaviour or am i overthinking?

[Ellie56]

When i met my ex he had just split up from his wife and moved in with me so she has never liked me even though there marriage was over before me...My issue is he is so guarded over her and it caused alot of arguments between me and him..He still had the key to the martial home for a few years after they split (They have a 22 year old son).. They split 11 years ago now and me and him are no longer together , for a while we were friends with benefits and she didnt know we were still in contact , he now lives with his mum who has dementia so he finds it stressful and difficult dealing with this, so to get a break from it he stayed at his ex wifes house for a week and told me ,this is when we were seeing each other also he wont answer my calls if i call when hes there ,i find this all a bit strange , he says he would never get back or do anything with her but i dont agree with this .. Shes never met anyone since so maybe thats what bothered me too.. Am i over thinking or is this acceptable?

[smackie9]

No one can answer that but him.

Water under the bridge....you are no longer seeing each other. Best to put this aside, and go forward.

What is acceptable or unacceptable is in the eye of the beholder. Me personally would have never dated a man that was newly divorced. So when you say "unacceptable", why did you date him under these  circumstances?

[Wiseman2]

40 minutes ago, Ellie56 said:

me and him are no longer together

Excellent. Delete and block him and all his people from all your social media and messaging apps.

The whole thing with him and his wife/family is a headache and heartache you don't need. 

[SooSad33]

2 hours ago, Ellie56 said:

to get a break from it he stayed at his ex wifes house for a week and told me ,this is when we were seeing each other also he wont answer my calls if i call when hes there ,i find this all a bit strange , he says he would never get back or do anything with her but i dont agree with this .

He did this when you were involved with him... yah.. NO.

YOU don't agree with this - but you are not involved anymore?

Just a fwb?  Don't bother.. he is messed up imo.

No thanks.. just headaches (as mentioned).. Avoid anyone who is recently out of a LTR (long term relationship).  They need a lot of time on their own to sort everything out!

 

[MissCanuck]

2 hours ago, Ellie56 said:

 Am i over thinking or is this acceptable?

It's acceptable, yes, because you two are not together. Correct?

As such, he can do what he wants with her and does not owe you an explanation. 

It's time to close the door on this guy for good. 

[Hollyj]

Time to block and delete.  Move on with your life. 

[Rose Mosse]

Sadly, you are still the other woman and you will always be the other woman in this dynamic. He has his son to think of and his mum. He told you that he finds it "stressful and difficult dealing with this" so it's unlikely he will ever put you first or pick up your calls when it inconveniences him or when he finds it too "stressful and difficult". 

A person may say one thing but mean something else. Always pay attention to a person's actions and what they do or how they treat you. Don't continue to put your life in limbo like this. If you're looking to be treated as if you are in a relationship or progressing towards one, this one is not the one.

[Batya33]

Is he divorced or is this his wife? I think it's fine for one of your sex partners to have sex with others too - or date others or whatever -just like you can.  What's unacceptable is you're settling for scraps because you want more.  You're not going to get "more" from him so I agree with the others.   I think it's irrelevant that she's not romantically involved with anyone - but of course she might be and you wouldn't know -none of your business.  Maybe she doesn't want to date if they're not actually divorced or maybe she has had opportunities and isn't interested.  I'm really not sure why that's relevant information.