Boyfriend has tinder

[Sara]

We have been together a year and we were very happy together just like we will get married soon, then last year he went to France for his job about 7 months. We've been talking a lot through phone everyday. After 5 months he got there, he's now going on his vacation in Tenerife, Spain about a week alone and I suddently checked on his email and I saw his Tinder subscription confirmation. I'm breaking out about that and because he didn't know that I had his email all the time. I'm losing my mind now and don't know what to do. Besides, he still texts me just like normal day but I have the feeling that something goes wrong.

[Jibralta]

7 hours ago, Sara said:

I suddently checked on his email and I saw his Tinder subscription confirmation.

I'd be freaking out, too!

[Wiseman2]

8 hours ago, Sara said:

We have been together a year. I suddenly checked on his email and I saw his Tinder subscription confirmation.

How did you have his email password? Isn't Tinder free except for upgrading to better features?

Did you meet him on tinder? Perhaps he upgraded so you won't see him there?

[nicolas174]

I find it very strange to have to pay for new encounters, a man has a network without needing dating sites!

[smackie9]

Well I would guess he's looking for some female company, thinking what the hell why not? You won't know. The thing is he could have found female company before opening this account. What's a guy gonna do in his spare time for 7 months? One last fling before he ties the knot?

Me, this is a deal breaker. I would kick him to the curb.

If there's no ring on your finger, he's thinking he has free reign to do whatever.

[Lambert]

I don't understand your time table. You've been dating for a year and he was in France for 7 of those months? and you're engaged? 

I'm sorry but a guy that wants to marry you or even be with you would not be on tinder. Something is seriously wrong... with him. 

Dump him.

[sadchick83]

I don’t know...I have a free Match account with absolutely no intention of using it for dating.  I am sure at the beginning there were a few emails confirming my subscription. Had someone looked at my email inbox, they would have seen a few “confirmation" emails.

I have the account because I feel I live in the ugliest town in America. As soon as I have an urge to try online dating, I scroll through photos and am reminded of this horrible truth. Everyone looks like an ex-convict and so often, holding a big fish.

Anyway, maybe he was just checking out the site to assure himself there is no one out there better than you? I would not let this slide, but you don’t know if he actually had the intention to date/cheat.

I always found the best way to find out the truth was to ask a man a question while lying in bed, with my hand on his heart - a de facto lie detector of sorts. Maybe try this when he returns.

 

[Mel11]

Can you find the tinder pic? Send a snap via text and ask, Is there something you want to tell me?

[poorlittlefish]

7 hours ago, sadchick83 said:

I don’t know...I have a free Match account with absolutely no intention of using it for dating.  I am sure at the beginning there were a few emails confirming my subscription. Had someone looked at my email inbox, they would have seen a few “confirmation" emails.

I have the account because I feel I live in the ugliest town in America. As soon as I have an urge to try online dating, I scroll through photos and am reminded of this horrible truth. Everyone looks like an ex-convict and so often, holding a big fish.

Anyway, maybe he was just checking out the site to assure himself there is no one out there better than you? I would not let this slide, but you don’t know if he actually had the intention to date/cheat.

I always found the best way to find out the truth was to ask a man a question while lying in bed, with my hand on his heart - a de facto lie detector of sorts. Maybe try this when he returns.

 

If this guy's subscription email came from before he was in a committed relationship, then fair enough.  If he's signed up since, despite being engaged to the OP, then that is not OK.  Nobody who's happy in their relationship should have the need to assure themselves there's nobody better out there by deliberately looking to see if that's the case.  In my mind, if someone in a relationship is also on a dating site then intention is there.  I'd be surprised if many people's partners would find it acceptable, whatever the excuse.

[reinventmyself]

I have an old email account where if I were to check there's probably daily ads/emails for dating sites with my old user name.  I haven't used them in years. 

Having said that a young man who takes a job that seperates him from his gf for the better part of a year and piggybacks  that with a vacation without you doesn't seem terribly committed.or interested in prioritizing this relationship.

Bottom line, dies this relationship meet your needs?

Curious too about the time line and how you *suddenly checked this email.  The way this reads you two were only in the same zipcode for a very short time before he left.

[sweethome22]

To my knowledge, when you have a paid account for Tinder it allows you to set your location at anywhere in the world you choose, not just current location. He may have done this if he knew he was going away back to back but wanted to continue searching somewhere specific. Just a thought.

You were only together a short time before he went away and if you are already feeling the need to go through his emails it doesn’t seem like the best situation for you. 

[smackie9]

Me personally would have cut a guy loose if we were only for a few months with him going away for 7.  I couldn't expect a man to remain faithful for that length of time. I would cut my losses girl. He's been dating other women.