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*IS THIS A THING?*


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So I have been in a relationship for a bit over a year. It all seemed to be wonderful. About 6 mths into it my relationship my Man moved in with me and my 2 kids ages 11/12. He is military,and very militant. Also OCD. Kids are messy. He expressed his feeling towards junky rooms and kids being lazy. I understood and did everything I could to try to make him feel comfortable. I have done all house work most of their life, so he and I agreed that I needed to put more responsibility on them. Of course it didn't go as planned every single day, but most of the time it did. My kids have never had a father figure nor had to do chores, which is completely my fault. Well after a heated argument about something totally different we somehow got back to the kids being messy and not accountable. It got so heated that I asked him to step away from the home (to cool off) he didn't, so I did. When I got back in a couple hours most of his things were packed and he was gone. I called and he said he was never coming back. Next day he says "That was your home, I need my own home", and once I get one and you and the kids can prove you're ready you all can come live with me. 😩 Idk how to take that. He says he wants to continue our relationship while he lives with his bachelor best friend who has a different chick around every time I see him. He also says if I choose not to give him sex during these times he will have to get it elsewhere. Is this a thing, should I move on?

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No nothing about any of this is a thing.

This guy isn't militant he is abusive control freak. He packed his things and left...GOOD. Lock and bolt your doors, delete and block his contact info and never ever speak or deal with him again.

Also, get yourself sorted out. This is not what relationships look like and no man can come into your home and start dictating your life or your children's lives. If a guy doesn't like you, your children, how you live, how you manage your life or your home then he doesn't belong in your life. Period. Send him packing instead of inviting him in.

You and your children are already a whole entire family. Remember that.

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3 hours ago, 6figurechick said:

When I got back in a couple hours most of his things were packed and he was gone. I called and he said he was never coming back. Next day he says "That was your home, I need my own home"

Sorry this happened. You're very fortunate he left on his own. Bullying you and  especially your children is unacceptable. Be glad he's gone. Delete and block him from all your social media and messaging apps. Never allow someone to stroll into your life and home and abuse your kids, no matter how lonely you are.

Edited by Wiseman2
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This all completely unacceptable. It's not love. It's power, it's control, its transactional and totally on him.

He left. I say good. if you refuse him sex during this time, he'll get it somewhere else? EW!  what a pig. 

This is ridiculous. I think he did you a huge favor.  focus on your kids right now.  I'm sure one they are able to relax again in their own home,  you will learn he was not good for them. And they might need to talk to a therapist.  As do you.  You were being abused.  

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How in the world could you move in a guy after dating for only 6 months?  Terrible judgement.  This should not be considered before the two-year mark.   Perfect example of why you should get to know people.  I am curious as to how early you allowed him to sleep over?

The guys sounds like a creep and does not give a damn about you.  Why would you think he was some prize. 

 

Next time, put your kids first and not immediately let some guy move in.  Remember, you are their role model and this never should have happened.  

Edited by Hollyj
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3 hours ago, 6figurechick said:

been in a relationship for a bit over a year. It all seemed to be wonderful. About 6 mths into it my relationship my Man moved in with me and my 2 kids ages 11/12.

Oh yeah, so wonderful (often is - the honeymoon phase).

Letting someone move in with only knowing them/being involved 6 months.  No Good.

 

3 hours ago, 6figurechick said:

I understood and did everything I could to try to make him feel comfortable.

-Make HIM feel comfortable- but the rest of you were not!

 

3 hours ago, 6figurechick said:

, I need my own home", and once I get one and you and the kids can prove you're ready you all can come live with me

- Prove yourselves?  Pfftttt

As mentioned, is GOOD he's gone!  No one does this ... No respect for you or your kids!  Ridiculous behaviour.

So glad he is out of there.  

Do NOT even consider that.  Stay where you are and be there for & with your kids ONLY.

Avoid people like this!  

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Please consider your kids in all this. They don't deserve this and neither do you. 

Do you feel guilty that they didn't have a father figure? There's some conflict you're feeling and maybe he seemed to offer some stability at the beginning with a background in the military. If anything his rudeness and my way or the highway attitude just speaks volumes about how small and insecure he really feels. Avoid people like this please.

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Your kids deserve for their mother to use good judgment in dating, and this guy is not that.

Wait to get to know someone beyond 6 months before introducing them to your kids, much less moving someone into THEIR home, which is supposed to be their safe place.

The guy is off his rocker and I'd stay far away from him. This is the best ending you could hope for with him, because if you keep messing with him, he could bring harm to you.

Put your kids first, and you will thank yourself later.

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