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One kiss and we had to part ways


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I spent a month getting to know someone, friendship grew into romance but it wasn't until the last days that we even kissed. I left, went home and now I won't have a chance to see him again for months. What do I do?? Go on with my life? Do we keep in touch? Should I expect that we have already started a relationship? Am I going to ruin this before it starts???!!!! HELP!!

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10 minutes ago, LadyCaCa said:

I spent a month getting to know someone, friendship grew into romance but it wasn't until the last days that we even kissed. I left, went home and now I won't have a chance to see him again for months. What do I do?? Go on with my life? Do we keep in touch? Should I expect that we have already started a relationship? Am I going to ruin this before it starts???!!!! HELP!!

Didn't you two discuss this before you left?  😕 What did HE say?

It would be helpful to have more information.  Where did you meet? Is he married? Was this just a fling? etc etc.

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7 hours ago, LadyCaCa said:

. I left, went home and now I won't have a chance to see him again for months. 

Yes, carry on with your life. Why will you be there again in a few months?

A holiday fling is not a relationship. If he's not contacting you, how can you "stay in touch"?

Continue to date local available men and enjoy your life.

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If you two hadn't discussed these details while you were with him, it doesn't sound like he's that serious about you.  Therefore, you shouldn't be serious about him either. 

Yes, go on with your life. 

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So more of a backstory...

It was him that wanted more than friendship initially, I did like him a lot but I bottled it. A couple days before I left I admitted that I had feelings too. It was a month long vacation and we don't live too terribly far from one another but there is an international border and there's no telling when it will be possible to get together.

We have been talking and texting every day.

So now I guess we should just continue as friends, it was only a kiss after all... 😞

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4 hours ago, Wiseman2 said:

Why will you be there again in a few months?

We vacation in the same spot every year.

A holiday fling is not a relationship. If he's not contacting you, how can you "stay in touch"?

We talk every day

 

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How old are you? I'm assuming young and that you're with your family when vacationing. If you don't have a plan to close the distance within a year or two, why bother engaging in the most difficult form of dating there is? Too much time apart, and too much time together when you do visit. Yes, too much time together isn't a normal pace of dating and feels smothering to the person who is being visited.

When you're young, you'll be around the largest pool of single guys your age. If you choose an LDR, you'll be missing out on all the fun of local dating while in a high risk LDR. If he's so cute and fun to be around, he'll have girls constantly around him, and if young, do you really think he'll want to settle down and be monogamous with someone he can see a handful of times per year? I definitely wouldn't be spending my money to visit, at least not at the beginning. Let him show the effort to gauge a true interest.

I think staying in contact with romantic texting will prevent you from bonding with a local guy. I had those fun, flirty times with guys on vacation, but they never translated to anything substantial once I returned home. They were nice memories and nothing more.

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5 hours ago, LadyCaCa said:

We vacation in the same spot every year. We talk every day

Ok enjoy the friendship and texting as long as you don't try to build a relationship through texting.

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Sounds like a good vacay but probably best to let this go. If the daily texts are confusing you, take a break from them and don't respond right away. You can always get back to them on the weekend or some other time that is less overwhelming or a better time for you. This isn't a relationship so I wouldn't treat it with the same level of pressing urgency or give it as much attention. 

He is already keeping in touch with you if you both are texting so let it be what it is but I wouldn't let it override or change your plans or routines in your regular life. 

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10 hours ago, Andrina said:

How old are you? I'm assuming young and that you're with your family when vacationing.

When you're young, you'll be around the largest pool of single guys your age.

 

I'm 53 ....

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LDRs that begin that way have a very low risk of success, so don't be spending your money going his way, at least until he's made his own efforts spending money going your way, and he expresses an interest in a longterm, monogamous relationship.

Because of course he'd probably welcome fun flings when you go his way, but it doesn't mean he sees it as more, regardless of the texting.

You're free so try to date locally and don't invest a lot of time and emotional energy into something that is a high risk to your heart.

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I think I would take this experience as an exciting and magical time during your vacation but I would carry on with my life.  Just continue to do your own thing for now. You will get a sense of the direction via txt but I agree with Andrina, I wouldn’t spend money going his way.  It sounds like this was more of a fling during a vacation at this time.  

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I might consider him a contender, but I wouldn't pledge a commitment. I'd date other people and see what shakes out. I certainly wouldn't put my life on hold.

CongrAts! on meeting someone you like.

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On 2/23/2021 at 7:57 PM, LadyCaCa said:

I'm 53 ....

Are you dating or seeing anyone?  That would be your best bet.

Get on some quality dating apps with a good profile and pics and start talking to and meeting local men.

Are you recently divorced or broken up from a long term relationship?

Why would a vacation encounter make you feel like you should hang on to that?

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