Girlfriend jealous/ isolation/ false accusations.

[CoachJRO 0]

My girlfriend has serious baggage from past relationships.  Im a personal trainer and train my clients from home, and she things she here’s sex noises from upstairs whenever my female clients moan from exercising.  We’ve tried counseling a few times but we can’t afford it now and it didn’t help much.  We have been together 2 years but knew each other since highschool.  I love her but sometimes the arguments and her distrust in me is too much to handle and there is nowhere to turn when it gets out of hand.  
both of us are introverts to begin with and dont have many friends, and covid certainly hasn’t helped.  I also have asperger’s which has made dating a major challenge.  I simply don’t recognize hints or cues. Dates would seem perfect yet i almost always get ghosted afterwards for reasons ill never understand, leaving me with this broken and empty feeling.  If we broke up, i would be alone for a long time and that scares me.  Sometimes i think she is the only one who will accept me for how I am.  Too bad she cant trust me

[SooSad33 633]

Well you need some sort of trust... or that does cause problems.

it isn't right if you are just keeping her around to avoid lonliness?  So, you rather be dealing with a partner with serious baggage form past relations?

Her reactions to you doing training at home is silly. 

 Do you have friends you can hang with occasionally? 

[smackie9 821]

Do not worry about reading cues and making it your burden. She knows your disorder and your limitations, so she should stop communicating to you that way...a way you don't understand. You tell her that right off, that she needs to verbally communicate any issues she may have. If she gets jealous, snuff it out with a firm conversation. Do not apologize. All that does is enable her insecurity. You have control of this only when you stand up for yourself and take no guff or bad behavior from her. Just don't tolerate it. If she gets all up in your face, walk out. Disappear for awhile, go to a friends place....this will give her time alone with her thoughts.

Give that a whirl...come back and let us know how it's going.

Edited February 21 by smackie9

[Seraphim 2,171]

If there is no trust there is nothing left. It really is time to break up. Her trust issues are hers. 

[Hollyj 1,917]

This sounds awful.  

You stay with her because you are afraid to date.  I would rather be alone than deal with all of her garbage. 

[Wiseman2 3,188]

10 hours ago, CoachJRO said:

.  Im a personal trainer and train my clients from home, and she things she here’s sex noises from upstairs whenever my female clients moan from exercising.  

Do you live together? Why not train clients in their homes? 

Staying with your GF because you believe you can't do better is wrong.

At some level she may sense you're not with her because you want to be, but because you're settling.

That's incredibly bad for both of you.

It's interesting that your opening salvo blames her. Yet you seem to be equally counterproductive by staying because you think you can't do better.

Be more professional. Meet clients at gyms if there open. Perhaps it's annoying (and rightfully so) that you have an army of strangers marching through your home.

[Rose Mosse 1,130]

I'm not sure how you can be with someone who doesn't trust what you do for a living. This doesn't work. Perhaps it's time to look at your reasons for dating in the first place. I don't think this only about trust issues. She has some other severe mental health issues and I don't think it's healthy for you. 

Relationships are meant to be supportive, positive and encouraging. They're safe spaces but also catalysts for growth. Think back on what a relationship should be for you and don't try molding a happy relationship from one that is just plain wrong, unhealthy, toxic. I think she's taking advantage of your disability and will ruin your business or what you do for a living if you're not strong enough to end this. 

 

 

[catfeeder 2,079]

There is not a shot in hell that I'd stay with anyone who does not trust me to be loyal.

[Capricorn3 1,126]

I would be really interested to hear her side of the story.