Kmb 0 Posted February 21 Share Posted February 21 Me and bf have been together 3 years. Right at the start of our relationship I found out he’d been messaging other girls. We moved on from that, then I found out he lied about money, again we moved on. I’m now 7 months pregnant and I’ve discovered 100s of explicit images of his ex relationships on his laptop and that he’s been using the images for his enjoyment. Am I over reacting but I’m disgusted and hurt by this? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 2,784 Posted February 21 Share Posted February 21 1 hour ago, Kmb said: Right at the start of our relationship I found out he’d been messaging other girls. I found out he lied about money, again we moved on. I’m now 7 months pregnant and I’ve discovered 100s of explicit images of his ex Unfortunately, you knew what you were getting into and went forward anyway, so you're used to his proclivities, bad behavior, amoral character. Sadly you keep saying "we moved on". Which means he continues and you put up with. 2 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
MissCanuck 1,090 Posted February 21 Share Posted February 21 5 hours ago, Kmb said: I’ve discovered 100s of explicit images of his ex relationships on his laptop and that he’s been using the images for his enjoyment. How do you know this? It sounds like you've overlooked red flags all along, unfortunately. I can understand why you're hurt and turned off, but it's time to accept the truth about this man, rather than the version you want to believe in. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 663 Posted February 22 Share Posted February 22 (edited) Messaging other girls: dealbreaker. That kind of behavior is intolerable/disrespectful. Lied about money: dealbreaker: distrustful, jeopardizing your financial future to support a family, paying a mortgage, etc. 100's of pictures of his ex: double dealbreaker: he isn't 100% committed emotionally to you or your relationship. He has classic narcissist behavior. He's been a dirty dog since the beginning. What to do? confront him, get some counseling...you have a baby to raise. Edited February 22 by smackie9 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Hollyj 1,631 Posted February 22 Share Posted February 22 (edited) Why in the world would you bring a child into this? This guy is a cheater and a liar, why would you continue with someone of his character? He has shown you who he is, yet you keep on. I feel for the child you are bringing into this. Bad judgment on your part. Edited February 22 by Hollyj Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Capricorn3 1,081 Posted February 22 Share Posted February 22 17 hours ago, Kmb said: Am I over reacting but I’m disgusted and hurt by this? No. Now what you should be doing is kick this jerk to the kerb and seek counselling for yourself to help you deal with all of this. You have a baby soon to focus on and the welfare of your child is top priority. Make sure to get a court order for him to pay child maintenance. I hope you have a support network - parents, siblings etc. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Rose Mosse 718 Posted February 22 Share Posted February 22 End the relationship and find a way to support yourself and your baby. Don't continue staying here. You are not overreacting. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
catfeeder 2,001 Posted February 23 Share Posted February 23 I don't think you're over-reacting, I think you've under-reacted to the other stuff. While this guy would have been history long before I could have gotten pregnant by him, in your case there is no time like the present. I'd seek legal advice from an attorney in your location to learn your options and the best steps to take for each option. From there, I'd make decisions based on real information rather than emotions alone. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Bella1234 7 Posted February 23 Share Posted February 23 You are definitely not over reacting. This is incredibly hurtful. Red flags were there from the beginning from the messaging other girls and you gave him another chance because you love him. Don’t beat yourself up over this but it has gotten increasingly worse and how many more boundaries are you willing to let him break? This is a huge breach to your trust and it will be very difficult to move past this if he’s not willing to admit or take accountability to his actions. I know this because I’ve been there. There will always be a part of you wondering “what is he doing” etc. It does not get any better. Be strong for you and the baby and walk away with your head held high otherwise couples counselling is the only way to help and that’s if he’s willing. He’s not thinking about your feelings and the baby, sadly he’s selfish and thinking of his own needs. This isn’t what you want to go through with a baby coming. Wishing you the best. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.