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He changed his number and stopped talking to me


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I have known this man since i was a freshman in high school and he was a senior. We really fell in love with each other more than anyone i’ve ever known it felt so magical and then i noticed that he started to changed around his second year of college. He used to text me all the time but after his second year of college he transferred to a different school and this is around the time i noticed him changing and he became kinda rude but then would be super sweet to me at times. He would say how he just isn’t interested in me and how he’s have girlfriends. He’d see me on the weekends and holidays he’d come home from school and it was so magical but then he’d ignore all my text messages sometimes for weeks and for a month or so and then text me again wanting to hook up. This happened constantly and all I wanted was a relationship. In 2019 he betrayed me by sleeping with my best friend after meeting her as they went to the same college. He never admitted to straight up cheating but he did say that he would only see me if my friend was with me, and right after all of this she ghosted me and started talking *** about me and he also stopped talking to me except 3 or so times a year. Now i’m 21 and i’ve been in love with him since I was 14. I went through a really hard time 2 years ago and he didn’t do anything to help or be there for me. I got myself into a nice apartment hoping he’d want to live with me and he even said that yes he does want to move in and live together, and that he really loves me. Him and I have been really close and we have been best friends that fell in love for the first time. I’m confused as to what has been really going on with him? he won’t answer any questions I have about his life. I saw him in October and after we woke up the next morning after he slept over he said he had to leave immediately was mad that he stayed over at my house. I got into his car with him demanding that he tell me what he was doing why he changed so much and I asked if he has a kid because my intuition was telling me that he did and I had asked him multiple times over the past few years if he did and he would say no i don’t want one and i asked that night and he said no but then i got into his car and said do you have a kid and he said ya and i said how old and he said 2 and then he said that’s what you want to hear because i’m just going to agree with you on everything you say so you leave me alone. So does he have a kid? What is going on here? Not only that but he said he’s living with my ex best friend in the town i grew up in. He took me there last year to get something out of the house and told me not to get out, he later admitted he lived with her there. I’m devastated and confused. Does anyone know what could be going on? I last saw him on october and he has since changed his number i’m assuming because last week he accepted my friend request on venmo, does anyone know what going on?

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12 minutes ago, jess11110 said:

 does anyone know what going on?

Yes.  He's living his life.  He's sleeping with other girls, including your best friend. He's living with her now.  Yes, it does sound like he has a child. You were/are there whenever he needed sex or a place to stay.  A convenience.   

He changed his number and stopped talking to you because you're no longer important in his life (sorry) .... unless he's looking for a convenient hook up when he's bored.

Did you guys actually date?  Were you actually in an exclusive relationship? Or was this just a friendship you had since high school?

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1 hour ago, jess11110 said:

he’d ignore all my text messages sometimes for weeks and for a month or so and then text me again wanting to hook up. This happened constantly and all I wanted was a relationship.

_ Right, was just a 'hook up' never anything more.

1 hour ago, jess11110 said:

betrayed me by sleeping with my best friend after meeting her as they went to the same college. He never admitted to straight up cheating but he did say that he would only see me if my friend was with me, and right after all of this she ghosted me and started talking *** about me and he also stopped talking to me except 3 or so times a year

- How could he gave been 'cheating' if you two were never really a 'couple'?

- At this point, you should have walked away & expected NOTHING of him.

He messed around with you now & then, then hardly talk to you (3 times a yr)?

1 hour ago, jess11110 said:

I went through a really hard time 2 years ago and he didn’t do anything to help or be there for me. I got myself into a nice apartment hoping he’d want to live with me and he even said that yes

- Not sure why you'd expect him to... Were you dating?

He was NEVER true to you.. Why he'd agree to that, I don't know- yet why would you ask him to?

Because you're overwhelmed with hope & infatuation... chasing a guy who never truly felt anything for you... Yet you were so lost in him, accepting every little thing he'd offer.

 

You NEED to get away and stay away from this guy.  You let him treat you like dirt for way too long!

Accept what is- and walk away.  Focus on yourself, heal from all of this mess - and get your own life going.. Because it's been a mess & unsettled for you for years.

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47 minutes ago, Capricorn3 said:

Yes.  He's living his life.  He's sleeping with other girls, including your best friend. He's living with her now.  Yes, it does sound like he has a child. You were/are there whenever he needed sex or a place to stay.  A convenience.   

He changed his number and stopped talking to you because you're no longer important in his life (sorry) .... unless he's looking for a convenient hook up when he's bored.

Did you guys actually date?  Were you actually in an exclusive relationship? Or was this just a friendship you had since high school?

Well do you think all those things are a yes because are you also a man? Because i’ve been trying to ask a man if this is the case since girls don’t usually do stuff like this. I would lead me on some time he was so romantic and we would do the cutest things like travel, take baths together, all of the cute couple stuff and he would sneak me into his house while his family was asleep so we could makeout and cuddle. We made it official in october 2020 and he said he’d move i with me and he didn’t talk to me for months after that until i texted him off a random number asking why he did me like that and he said he doesn’t want to talk to me ever again. So it was never official until a few months ago. And how do You know he’s sleeping w my friend and has a kid? does it just feel that way?

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23 minutes ago, kim42 said:

I don't know if I'd like to stay in touch with an ex who slept with my best friend. I'm a little confused, did the two of you actually date or were you just hooking up?

We were always off and on we never made it official at all but he would be romantic and then be super rude to me. Like if I was hanging out with my friends and I invited him over he would only talk to them and didn’t even say hey to me 

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This is not and never was a relationship.

Doing "cute things" together once every few months doesn't mean he's in love with you and wants to build a life with you.

Any more time you waste on trying to make this a relationship is time stolen away that could be spent with someone who wants to be with you as much as you want to be with him.

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39 minutes ago, jess11110 said:

We were always off and on we never made it official at all but he would be romantic and then be super rude to me. Like if I was hanging out with my friends and I invited him over he would only talk to them and didn’t even say hey to me 

You see - you were never official.  He's been hot & cold.

But you kept taking it... stuck in a loop and being used then pushed away!  Why is this acceptable to you?

 

Isn't it time to STOP playing HIS games?  

It's ruining you.

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57 minutes ago, jess11110 said:

Well do you think all those things are a yes because are you also a man? Because i’ve been trying to ask a man if this is the case since girls don’t usually do stuff like this. I would lead me on some time he was so romantic and we would do the cutest things like travel, take baths together, all of the cute couple stuff and he would sneak me into his house while his family was asleep so we could makeout and cuddle. We made it official in october 2020 and he said he’d move i with me and he didn’t talk to me for months after that until i texted him off a random number asking why he did me like that and he said he doesn’t want to talk to me ever again. So it was never official until a few months ago. And how do You know he’s sleeping w my friend and has a kid? does it just feel that way?

Capricorn isn’t a man. 
 

If someone changes their number and stops talking to you and sleeps around they don’t want be with you. 

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This is a relationship in your head only.  I agree with the others.  He enjoyed hooking up with you when it was convenient for him and it makes no sense to tell you you're together then ignore your calls - I think you heard what you wanted to hear and grasped at straws to convince yourself you meant more to him than casual hook ups.  Please don't waste any time on him - you both want different things.  He's just not that into you, I'm sorry!!

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4 hours ago, jess11110 said:

We were always off and on we never made it official at all but he would be romantic and then be super rude to me. Like if I was hanging out with my friends and I invited him over he would only talk to them and didn’t even say hey to me 

So, you guys were never even a couple and never in a relationship.  It sounds like he was only ever interested in you when he want easy sex -like I said before, you were just convenient.

Why would you even want to be with this guy who treats you badly, is super rude to you, and tells you he doesn't want to talk to you ever again?  Like boltnrun said above, "he's not a nice person".  Be glad you're rid of him and if he ever comes back for easy sex, show him the door.

Block him permanently and go NC, also permanently.

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In your mind, you two were a lot closer than you really were. Your perception of this does not match reality. 

Allow me to explain: You say this, "Him and I have been really close and we have been best friends" but you didn't even know if he had a child. I'm sorry to say, but you two were not close or anywhere near best friends. No way you could have been when you lack such fundamental information about him.

You need to forget about him forever. He only wants sex from you, and does not want you to get any closer to him or know about his life. He probably changed his number for a couple reasons: 1) he doesn't want his real girlfriend to know he cheats with you, and/or 2) he wants you to leave him alone. 

 

 

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11 hours ago, jess11110 said:

He also added me on venmo last week after changing his number? so weird 

Isn't that an epayment app?

Delete and block him and all his people from ALL your social media and messaging apps, including payment apps.

Start talking to boys you like and who respect you.

Talk to trusted adults about dating.

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