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Confused about feeling and wondering if I have been imagining things


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Ok, 

My coworker. He is much older. I've worked with him for 5 years. From day one I helped him, because he was new. 

In this time he has helped me get promoted, he was very touch feely but when I said something he stopped. 

He told me all about his life, he has vented to me and me to him, but his are sometimes personal issues that he vents to Me about, about his family. 

He would always call me on my days off to ask about work stuff. One time he called me out of the blue and he was crying because he couldn't work. Told me him and his wife are thinking of separating. 

He is keen to meet my partner. Like he will say he wants to meet my partner all the time. I've met his and he acted different, alot more quiet in general. He wants us to do things together as couples. 

I'm dumbfounded. All of the sudden I see maybe he wasn't just being friendly. His wife is very close to me too, overly friendly. 

My feelings are confused. I don't know what the hell is going on. Help. 

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Be crystal clear about work boundaries and professionalism.

Do not chitchat outside of work. That's for your friends and family.

Do not confide in him or play therapist. Neither of you is being paid to do that.

The workplace is not a singles club or a group therapy session.

So talk about personal stuff with friends and family. Get on some quality dating apps and start talking to and meeting men.

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If you feel he's being too friendly and you don't want to meet him and his wife outside work, you should tell him. Maybe it's time to take a step back if this makes you uncomfortable. 

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YOU need to stop all of this with him.  Is called respectful boundaries.

HE is a co-worker, both with partners.  he should not be touching you, calling you etc.

He sounds lost 😞 .. But, is not your problem to fix it.. to fix him.

It should have really stayed as just 'professional'.

Just tell him 'Thanks for the thoughtfulness, but no'.. You prefer things to go no further now than work related.

He can go vent to his buddies.

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