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Am I taking no contact to the extreme with someone i work with? Dont know how to act


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2 weeks into no contact with ex that i work with every now and then. ever since i started no contact, ive made no contact, not even acknowledged her. is this bad? she walked passed me today and i feel like she slowed down a little but i didnt look at her so she kept walking. is it bad that i dont acknowledge her at all? i see her on registers or sometimes we walk past each other but i dont look at her or in her direction. should i look at her every now and then? i dont know if me not acknowledging her at all will do anything. i dont know how to act

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4 minutes ago, tommy2221 said:

2 weeks into no contact with ex that i work with every now and then. ever since i started no contact, ive made no contact, not even acknowledged her. is this bad? she walked passed me today and i feel like she slowed down a little but i didnt look at her so she kept walking. is it bad that i dont acknowledge her at all? i see her on registers or sometimes we walk past each other but i dont look at her or in her direction. should i look at her every now and then? i dont know if me not acknowledging her at all will do anything. i dont know how to act

You’re just overthinking it. Stop thinking about it. 

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Yeah, I think you’re making this whole situation even more difficult for yourself

In your last post, you said the breakup was mutual, so I would imagine there shouldn’t be any ill will, right? I think trying to use her level of engagement to decide your own level of engagement is a mistake. Remember that the relationship is over, so your objective should be to heal and move on. What level of contact will allow you to do that? Can you tolerate seeing her, saying hi as you pass in the hall, and still heal?

You need to look forward at where you want to be and then decide how to get there for yourself. Her behavior is irrelevant, you can’t control it, don’t read into it...focus on you, your goal, and your own actions.

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If you're rude and abrasive at work, that could come back to you. You don't want to be known as the person who snaps, is rude or can't leave personal issues at home. Just keep things pleasant. Why are you so afraid of making eye contact or greeting her? 

Are you afraid it'll be misunderstood or that you'll come off as needy or like someone who can't take no for an answer? I don't think there's anything wrong with being polite. 

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You need to just carry on. No worries about her.

You two are done?  Then leave it be.

And if possible, do not be near her at all. I feel you are just feeling a little awkward seeing her.

This is why is best to not get involved w/ those we work with.

But, carry on with your life.

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I agree with the above comments about being cordial and pleasant. It could come full circle if you're not and you could end up regretting it. Not been in your situation personally but there are Youtube videos and articles about stuff like this which could help you get some added clarification 

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overthinking, overthinking and if I forgot to mention, you are over thinking.. 

I read your other post and it seems like its this or that, that you go full no contact or you become friends. It doesnt have to be so black and white, cut and dry or frick or frack (hey, I ran out of stuff). 

You can act like a basic human to someone and not act like you want to be their friend. Imagine all the strangers you come in contact with every day or every week. The person at the supermarket or when you buy your coffee or ordering food at a fast food place. You are nice to complete strangers so this is how you act towards your X whom you work with. 

And you learn from this and pledge from this day forth, "I shall never date anyone I work with ever again no matter how hot she is". Or you can also say, "never dip your pen in the company ink". Also.. remember this and this will help you not only in this situation but in others. Its easier to STAY out than it is to GET out. 

As far as how you act, you can smile, say hi, and be nice and act like a decent person. Just think of her as the girl at the fast food place. You dont have to chit chat, talk, exchange events on what happened on the weekend, but you can say hi. Then you move on. 

 

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