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How to turn my fire on again and light up my sex life with my bf?


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Hello! 
I met with my boyfriend when I was 13 years old. He is the man I have dreaming about and I had strong attraction to him. We were living in different cities but we always made time to see each other and chat on the internet. After about 3 years my family moved to foreign country to work and pay the bills and help me finish school so I was very insistent that he move to live with me. At that time he had good paying job and we very happy that we can be together all the time. My family was sending me enough money to live and pay the bills and we have an agreement that my bf would help with the bills and money for food. But after 6 months, he told me that he can't go to this job anymore because It's very hardworking (he worked as food goods deliver from 8am to 7-8pm). But he was worried  about how he would help me with the bills, cause we wanted to continue living together in my place. So I decided to pay everything for the two of us from the money my family gave me for the time he is unemployed, until he find a job. I didn't tell my family about it because I knew that they would not be okay with that and would tell me to dump him, but I didn't want that. He was unemployed without any incomings for about 6 months. He told me he "can't find" proper work. That scenario is happening from that moment on till now. He gets a job, works a couple months (one time at most a year) and quit. The times when he was unemployed I was giving him money and pays the bills and for food, even with my money when I started working. He didn't have any incomes most of the time. 
In the beginning of our relationship I was chatting with many other guys because I just discovered the world of flirting with the opposite sex and I really enjoyed it, It was fun for me. I felt desired and alive. But, like any normal man, he didn't like my behaviour at all, he wanted me just for him. He is very trustworthy and loyal. I wanted him to teach me how to be the perfect girlfriend. I dismissed and stopped going out with my friends, who I enjoyed spending time with too, just to be with him every day cause he was in my city at that time and he was angry when I dissmised him to go out with them. After we had another scandal about that I agreed to stop chatting and flirting with other guys just to be with him, cause I really liked him(or I was stupid and in love), even I felt disappointed from my decision. I stopped hanging out with my friends. We had great teasing and then sex in the begining. But when I stopped doing the things that kept me alive, stopped going out that much and communicate with small group of people and became the good girl he wants me to be, something died in me. I started to feel anxious, especially changes related to my sex life. He stopped pursuing me and teasing me for much time the way he was in the begining. I couldnt relax and be turned on by anything he does anymore. I started to feel somewhat scared, behaved to avoid his anger, I couldn't feel relaxed in front of him. I could not reach orgasm anymore. Maybe 1-2 times in a year. At that time I feel the same attraction to him, but I don't feel to be playful, I am scared and ashamed to do some things that maybe will turn him on and make him turn me on again and I can't reach orgasm because I can't be that relaxed and didn't feel safe. I think that is fear only in my head. I didn't feel safe to be myself with anybody even making deep conversations. I don't know if it's me? I want to give and recieve pleasure and love the right way, but I find it hard. I want to be the best woman I can be and to let him be the best man he can. Because he is very ambitious and very persistent with what he is doing. He would make a lot of money If we are positive about life and have great sex. And I want to be with him only. I see us like a happy, loving and having fun experiences in our best light/manifestation. But that worries for the lack of money draw us off. What should I do to get emotionally and physycally intimate with him? Why is so hard to express my mind, my feelings and emotions? How can I get relaxed when It's time for sex, how to show him passion without restraints? I think he is turned on by dirty talking and playing with his imagination while I love to be touched.
And one more thing: Does sex/women orgasm(with right brain setting) helps man have more energy to work and contribute and bring more money to the table?
Thanks for taking time to read my story and I appreciate your advices. I wanted to share that anonimously. No spam answers please. God bless you! :)

Edited by Stelss
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10 minutes ago, Stelss said:

He would make a lot of money If we are positive about life and have great sex.

 No spam answers please. 

Problems in the bedroom often originate outside of the bedroom, such as this case. You are supporting him and that is not working for either of you.

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7 minutes ago, Stelss said:

He gets a job, works a couple
months (one time at most a year) and quit. The times when he was unemployed I was giving him money and pays the
bills and for food, even with my money when I started working. He didn't have any incomes most of the time

- He complained about a job delivering food and quit.. Seems like this has become a trend with him.. VERY irrisponsible.  

YOU don't need this.

8 minutes ago, Stelss said:

I wanted him
to teach me how to be the perfect girlfriend. I dismissed and stopped going out with my friends, who I enjoyed
spending time with too, just to be with him every day cause he was in my city at that time and he was angry when I
dissmised him to go out with them.

' I stopped doing the things that kept me alive, stopped
going out that much and communicate with small group of people and became the good girl he wants me to be,
something died in me'

- Exactly  😞 

10 minutes ago, Stelss said:

 He stopped pursuing me
and teasing me for much time the way he was in the begining. I couldnt relax and be turned on by anything he does anymore. I started to feel somewhat scared, behaved to avoid his anger,

- This is not right on you!  He is mean to you and controlling!

Again, you don't need this!

11 minutes ago, Stelss said:

he is very ambitious and very persistent with what he is doing. He would make a lot of money If we are positive about life and have great sex.

-What? He is NOT making any money & has nothing to do with your sex life.

 

13 minutes ago, Stelss said:

I see us like a happy, loving and having fun experiences

Okay, but in reality, you're not.

 

13 minutes ago, Stelss said:

What should I do to get emotionally and physycally intimate with him? Why is so hard to express my mind, my feelings and emotions? How can I get relaxed when It's time for sex, how to show him passion without restraints?

Your experience with him has messed you up 😞 

Has affected you - you fear him?  you are not happy. 

 

14 minutes ago, Stelss said:

And one more thing: Does sex/women orgasm(with right brain setting) helps man have more energy to work and contribute and bring more money to the table?

No.  He is controlling YOU.  And you have seen him be mean & controlling on you.

He needs to go.. back home!  And YOU need to get your own life back!  As well as manage your money and home on your own.

 

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