Jump to content

My partner keeps me a secret


Recommended Posts

My partner won't introduce me to his children, friends, family members, or appear in any photos with me on social media. He has always said this is to protect his ex-wife from embarassment. The thing is, this has being going on for years - I won't say how many. Soulmate or not, at what point would you have said enough's enough?

  • Confused 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

It sounds like a toxic and manipulative environment and he's a pushover if they are divorced. Ex-wife is sometimes used loosely for ex-common in law or ex-girlfriend. Were they ever married?

Either way if the relationship is over, there shouldn't be anything clandestine or hidden about your relationship. He's keeping you hidden because he's likely embarrassed about you or afraid his ex will manipulate the situation with the kids. 

 

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

"this has being going on for years"  - this is a super huge red flag.

Painful as it may be, I would leave him now.  He is being totally inconsiderate and very disrespectful.  Why would you subject yourself to this awful behaviour?  Clearly, he is hiding something or someone.  Think about it.  As smackie stated, I would have left within a couple of months of dating.  Again, do yourself a favour and leave his sorry a**.  

 

 

Link to post
Share on other sites

First of all, if he is divorced, he is still putting her feelings above yours, which is not okay.

Second, and more importantly, he is so obviously still with her and his family and you are willing to believe anything just to be his side piece. If being divorced was a dealbreaker, have you seen papers? Do you know for certain with whom he lives? 

You are wasting your life on a loser who will never put you first. Never. Please leave and get some help to figure out why you are willing to expect so little in life so you can have a healthy future. 

Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, Ipswichwitch78 said:

My partner won't introduce me to his children, friends, family members, or appear in any photos with me on social media. He has always said this is to protect his ex-wife from embarrassment. The thing is, this has being going on for years

Is he still married? Have you been to his home? Why do you think this is happening "for years"?

  • Sad 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

You're a secret. He also does NOT see a future with you.  He is still involved with his wife.

Are all your dates at your homes?

 Don't know why you have allowed this.  I would have been done, long ago!  

 

Edited by Hollyj
  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

He can't afford for his WIFE (not "ex wife") to find out or he'll end up with an expensive divorce.  That's why he can't allow his family to know about you either.

My best friend's now-ex husband told everyone he was divorced from her so he could date.  So he was actually hiding his WIFE from friends and coworkers.

These are not moral men.

Don't you want a husband and family of your own?

Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, Ipswichwitch78 said:

Soulmate or not, at what point would you have said enough's enough?

Someone who keeps me a secret wouldn't be considered my soulmate to begin with.

No way I'd tolerate not having met anyone is his life past the first couple months when you're just getting to know each other. 

Anything longer than that would tell me one of two things:

1) He's embarrassed by me, for some reason (which is a deal-breaker)

or 

2) He's married or has a girlfriend and I am the secret Other Woman. 

 

 

Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, Nicole39 said:

I’m kind of in a similar situation I been with him a year this month he’s divorced with 2 kids I never met his kids or any family I was brought out to meet his friends though an there wives I never been to his house either he face times me nightly though he lives with a friend an is supposedly not allowed guests in his home I know he’s really divorced though I’m not on any social media myself but he doesn’t have any pictures of me up either I know he said his last gf was with him 11 months an he asked her to meet his kids an she wouldn’t an they broke up so I’m just waiting to see if I’m asked soon an if I’m not I’m leaving him as well because I feel like im a secret an shouldn’t feel that way after a year but I’m also not going to ask to meet ppl if a man wants u to meet ppl he will an should ask he’s around my home an family members so it’s not really equal go with your gut though 

Nicole...Please begin your own thread, as members are confusing you with the OP.

  • Thanks 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Restore formatting

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
×
  • Create New...