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I'm just trying to survive for my kids


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A lot to process, so I spend my weekends just sitting here alone trying to process my life being in ruins. I’m sitting here in the fire. So if you take it personally that I pushed you away well I don’t care. I don’t have the capacity, I don’t have the strength to deal with anything more. So you can think I’m heartless and cold, but truth is that I had a heart. Having a heart gets you hurt, and hurt can lead to death. I’m just trying to survive for my kids. But I have to fight for my kids and it takes a toll. I have to fight the person I loved for my kid. I have been trying to process that for a long time now and I can’t seem to get it through my head. That this is where I am now. At first I was in shock, and then years passed and I didn’t want to accept it. That the person I loved could do this to me. I spent countless nights with tears running down my face in the dark alone, yelling and whimpering for god to answer. I didn’t want to accept that the only person I ever loved would actually do this to me. Would want to see me destroyed. And that hurt bad, it hurts everyday. Then I went back to being in shock, I guess my mind was trying to protect me from more pain because I just felt numb throughout my days. Then there are days when I’m working and a flood of emotions just overtakes me out of nowhere and I crash I break down, I need to escape and be alone. I pick myself back up, I keep getting up, and I know as long as I can stand I’ve gotta fight for my kid.

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On 2/13/2021 at 2:39 PM, Jovahutc said:

There is no restraining order. There is a custody order in place that she is violating. I did not touch her she is doing this out of spite

What legal steps have you taken to have the custody order enforced?

Are you working with a therapist to help you with this process?

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On 2/15/2021 at 11:35 AM, catfeeder said:

What legal steps have you taken to have the custody order enforced?

Are you working with a therapist to help you with this process?

Well I’m getting a lawyer just was waiting until I could afford it. And I probably do need therapy though I’m not convinced it will help. I’m going for a motion of contempt

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2 hours ago, Jovahutc said:

Well I’m getting a lawyer just was waiting until I could afford it. And I probably do need therapy though I’m not convinced it will help. I’m going for a motion of contempt

Consider trying Legal Aid if affordability is an issue. And therapy could very well help you to talk through your frustrations--you'll have a place to bring those and take some of the pressure out of your cooker.

When it comes to the welfare of your children, it's best to operate with a cooler head. Bouncing your troubles off of a dispassionate person may help you to build some confidence in your actions.

Head high, and know that none of this is easy for anyone. It's common during our toughest times to feel like, "I'm the only freak in the world who can't handle this stuff..." and it might help to learn that this is a universal feeling when it comes to difficulties in family life.

 

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1 hour ago, catfeeder said:

Consider trying Legal Aid if affordability is an issue. And therapy could very well help you to talk through your frustrations--you'll have a place to bring those and take some of the pressure out of your cooker.

When it comes to the welfare of your children, it's best to operate with a cooler head. Bouncing your troubles off of a dispassionate person may help you to build some confidence in your actions.

Head high, and know that none of this is easy for anyone. It's common during our toughest times to feel like, "I'm the only freak in the world who can't handle this stuff..." and it might help to learn that this is a universal feeling when it comes to difficulties in family life.

 

If you can't love yourself then you can't love anyone else. If that's the case one must seek help.

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22 hours ago, catfeeder said:

Consider trying Legal Aid if affordability is an issue. And therapy could very well help you to talk through your frustrations--you'll have a place to bring those and take some of the pressure out of your cooker.

When it comes to the welfare of your children, it's best to operate with a cooler head. Bouncing your troubles off of a dispassionate person may help you to build some confidence in your actions.

Head high, and know that none of this is easy for anyone. It's common during our toughest times to feel like, "I'm the only freak in the world who can't handle this stuff..." and it might help to learn that this is a universal feeling when it comes to difficulties in family life.

 

Thank you for that it helps

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19 hours ago, Hollyj said:

You have been dealing with depression for many years, yet you refuse therapy.  What you are doing is not working.

It’s deeper than just depression. Now I’ve had an event of loving and losing it. I can’t seem to rationalize that. I’ve lost so much.

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5 minutes ago, Jovahutc said:

It’s deeper than just depression. Now I’ve had an event of loving and losing it. I can’t seem to rationalize that. I’ve lost so much.

And I don’t know how to do anything else I’m just doing the best I can so if that isn’t enough then maybe I’m doomed

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