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Did I make a right decision to call it quits?


StigWith
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I (M35) have been talking with this woman (32) since last December and we have met once (date went great). Our conversation have been extremely deep and we do have common values as well as goals in life. She is kind and smart but very, very emotionally sensitive and introvert. She also has tendency to "withdraw" every now and then.

After our last date, we already made initial plans for another date. However, I noticed she started to flake - not responding to messages quickly and sometimes even left messages to unread. After a few days, my anxiety got a better off me and I called her out. She said she has not felt "natural urges" to keep in touch and make dating plans. I kinda felt bad and in a heat of the moment I said we might be better off qutting things. She said she respected this and agreed.

Now after reflecting all of this, I´m starting to get second thoughts. I have started to think that I should have just given her more space and not push her. I´m starting to feel like I should contact her and apologize for pushing things. I miss her terribly and usually I do not go after exes, especially if we are just in a dating phase but we did have great emotional connection which makes me sad about this situation.

Basically I am asking for advice what to do - reach her out or move on?

Edited by StigWith
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Sorry this happened. After one date, everyone is still talking to and meeting others.

Don't take it personally. Who knows, she may be on/off with an ex, met someone, is dating around for now, whatever.

Just keep talking to and meeting women. If they won't meet or stall like this, just pull back and move forward. 

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@Wiseman2 Thanks for your reply. Without doubt your advice is a good one.

To be honest, I just have a very hard time to shake this idea out of my head that I messed up by pushing things too fast without a reason. You know, if I just did not have a bad day and would have just played aloof like it is expected in a early phase, we would have date on next sunday and things could be great. However, these negative thoughts did not come completely out of the blue. 

 

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But if it's true that you might have pushed, she still was a backpeddling and you gave the option to bow and she took it.  

"Hi, I ended it, but didn't mean it and now I want to try again"  rarely works.  If I were in her shoes I might think your ending it might have been an attempt to force my hand.  It might come off manipulative.

She said she didn't feel motivated to date or reach out.  I would just expect more of the same and now you are basically even further down in a one down position.

Sorry this didn't work out.  Let this one go and find someone who shares the same enthusiasm

Edited by reinventmyself
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5 hours ago, StigWith said:

She is kind and smart but very, very emotionally sensitive and introvert. She also has tendency to "withdraw" every now and then.

I guess you didn't fancy these issue's of hers..

 

5 hours ago, StigWith said:

I noticed she started to flake - not responding to messages quickly and sometimes even left messages to unread. After a few days, my anxiety got a better off me and I called her out. She said she has not felt "natural urges" to keep in touch and make dating plans. I kinda felt bad and in a heat of the moment I said we might be better off qutting things. She said she respected this and agreed.

Communication is needed... sounds like she wasn't doing this.

She agreed to end things... then you accept & let it go.

You will find someone who will keep up interest & communication.. just not this one, imo.

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