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An 18yr old man is pursuing me (I'm 41,F)


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Believe it or not, this is the FIRST time I've ever posted on a forum (I know - it's 2021)!!!

Just wanted kind, thoughtful responses from strangers...

Basically, an 18yr old man randomly struck up a conversation with me recently and it was such a breath of fresh air...I thought it was particularly bold because we were both masked. I'm a very young looking 41yr old woman and am often guessed to be 25! We did exchange numbers,  have been texting constantly and meet for lunch. I know for a fact that he's interested in starting something yet all the while,  the thought of his family condemning me is at the forefront. I personally have no issue with the age difference especially as it's a platonic connection right now.  I guess im just looking for any one out there that has experienced similar (older woman, much younger man).

Side note,  I do not attract men anywhere near my age although I have tried (and tried). I think (also due to the pandemic) I'm ready to just see what happens...

Any advice? (Kindness appreciated!)

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1 hour ago, Honest2021 said:

18yr old man randomly struck up a conversation with me recently and it was such a breath of fresh air.

Why?

1 hour ago, Honest2021 said:

We did exchange numbers,  have been texting constantly and meet for lunch. I know for a fact that he's interested in starting something

No idea why you did this?

He is 18 . I am guessing you don't have kids...

1 hour ago, Honest2021 said:

. I personally have no issue with the age difference especially as it's a platonic connection right now.

*Right now*

This is like dating your son... nasty 😞

There is a HUGE age gap here.. YOU are welll beyond his years- with so many years experience.  He is just getting started.

As with such a young man with 'raging hormones', of course he be persuing you.  Doesn't it end well, most often, Nope!

1 hour ago, Honest2021 said:

I do not attract men anywhere near my age although I have tried (and tried). I think (also due to the pandemic) I'm ready to just see what happens..

You sound semi-desperate... sad. ( I do not attract men near my age, although I have tried & tried) - Are you maybe 'trying' too hard?

Yeah, I wouldn't be too keen on my son getting involved with a woman same age as myself.

Will most likely cause some distress eventually.  His buddies will get a kick out of it... 

You do know that men don't fully mature until they are into their mid 20's?  So you're technically amusing a child.

Edited by SooSad33
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1 hour ago, Honest2021 said:

I'm a very young looking 41yr old woman and am often guessed to be 25! We did exchange numbers,  have been texting constantly and meet for lunch.

See where it goes, all you can do. he seems to be looking for hookups and if you're game that's great.

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There are a fair amount of youngsters out there looking to do a MILF.  For a variety of reasons--as a fetish or a one-time thing or other reasons (rite of passage, etc.).  If you want to play along, your decision, and if not, your decision too.  If you're looking for something serious, though, this probably ain't it.

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You run the risk of falling in "love" with this young kid, because it's easier to justify "but I LOVE him!!" than it is to just say "Hey, he's 18 and hot and the sex is mind blowing.  We'll just play with one another until it's not fun anymore".

And yes, I presume his parents won't be fond of you.  So don't meet them.  Don't try to make this fling into a relationship.

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3 hours ago, waffle said:

There are a fair amount of youngsters out there looking to do a MILF. 

As a kid I was so into my next door neighbor friend's mom.

Nowadays if I was to live out the MILF fantasy she'd have to be at least 80. 🤨

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Cracks me up when people in their 40s convince themself that they can pass for their 20s.

Nope, nada, no way!

And even if you did, it does not excuse creepin on a high school kid.

Who cares if he approached you first.
 

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He's a child, for crying out loud!  Leave him alone.  I don't care how young you look.  Just think of this whole scenario as an ego boost and leave it at that.

But, hey, ultimately, it's your decision.  Think it through before you proceed any further.  IMHO, this screams read flag!

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Well honestly I think the only thing you can get out of this is sex. And that's probably all he's trying to get out of it. I'm 36 and I've had all this on online dating. Teenagers and 20-year-olds who want an "experienced" woman. I could even guess he might be a virgin and wants to be shown the ropes in bed. Maybe literally 😂 When I was a teenager I thought 30-year-olds were old. Also even if the 18-year-ols does want to date, he would be not anywhere near your maturity level. He's probably just out of school. Unless you're intellectually delayed there would be a mental maturity level miles apart. Is that really intellectually and emotionally stimulating? 

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2 hours ago, goddess said:

He's a child, for crying out loud!  Leave him alone.  I don't care how young you look.  Just think of this whole scenario as an ego boost and leave it at that.

But, hey, ultimately, it's your decision.  Think it through before you proceed any further.  IMHO, this screams read flag!

Sorry, I meant "red" flag. And a big one.

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Online dating I used to get young men email me.   Just out of curiosity I struck up a conversation with one and asked him what exactly the attraction was, after all I have sons that were older than he was.   He said "he wanted to do me a favor'  It gave me a good laugh.   I figured as much.  Not sure why I even asked, but his answer was hilarious.  I don't think he appreciated that I thought it was that funny.  Apparently he was serious 😂

Edited by reinventmyself
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I hate to say it but it is likely he is just after sex and if that is what your after then fine but i doubt you would be writing on here if that was the case. 

His parents will despise you but his mates will find it hilarious. I think you need to work on your self esteem as surely you deserve better than to be used as a notch on the bed post? 

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Make sure he is actually of legal age before you do anything.

Then legally you can have sex and play video games to your hearts content. At 18 sex and video games is all he is interested in so...

Your post sounds like you are bragging.  You like the ego boost and the attention.  Just don't think this is anything other than you trying to feel young again and him trying to bang an older woman.  If it doesn't work out maybe his dad is single.

Lost

 

Edited by lostandhurt
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It's a pretty straight forward dynamic. He's a horny kid looking for sex..anyone who pays him attention will do.

You're an older woman needing an ego boost, you somehow think younger means better or more flattering (even though he could be your child!!).

You are basically using one another and it will amount to nothing but a toxic relationship that will burn out quickly.

There's nothing mysterious or exciting about it to be honest, it's fairly ho hum in the way of two desperate, lonely people using one another.

 

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He's a breath of fresh air?

He's a teenager, OP. This is just not a good idea. Sure, it's legal but it's not going to become the great love of your life. He's way too young for that. 

He's also inherently inexperienced. The sex is likely to be awkward, clumsy and not that great. At only 18, he won't know what he is doing yet. 

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