How can I fix this?

[Minime4457]

So me and this guy have been Friends for over a year now and during that year we have developed feelings for each other however we both live in separate countries and due to covid We have not been able to see each other for a year now. But we do discuss with each other the persons who we are dating and give advice to each other. however our friendship begin to get deeper on and we develops feelings for each other however we never discussed moving forward with it but we knew it.

 

How ever recently it's been this girl that he is travelling to see He told me that they went on a trip and The trip went really well however this is the 1st time out of all of the girls that hes told me about that he actually wanted to spend more time at all. Then he told me that he had to go into the city where she lives for work so while he was there he began to have to " phone issues"   and I barely heard from him for about 2 weeks and I became upset and brought it up to him  I explained to him that I've been in this position before a person hurt me like this and I  don't want to happen again. (A situation where as I was basically friend zoned) Then he stated that he wouldn't do that to me he loves me.

But now he told me that he was in a city doing work and I found out by looking at the girls Instagram(in the beginning he showed me her on IG) that they were together  when I confronted him about lying to me I blocked him.

 

Then he got into contact with me via Facebook and he explained that he  don't question me about what you doing(with other guys) and how it was wrong for me to stalk her page. He did apologize for lying but he felt like he had to exclude details to avoid reacting how I did.

At the end of the day I want to be with him however I feel as though I messed up our friendship I ask him if he sees relationship with us and he said he did but right now Im acting weird. I don't wanna lose him as a friend and I do what I so take for us to get pass this. But how can we get pass this? What can I do to fix the situation?

[Hollyj]

You haven't even met this guy and are not dating.  Why are you upset?

I suggest that you find someone in your own country, that you can actually interact with in person.   

[MissCanuck]

1 hour ago, Minime4457 said:

At the end of the day I want to be with him however I feel as though I messed up our friendship I ask him if he sees relationship with us and he said he did but right now Im acting weird. 

I don't think he sees you as relationship material, but he doesn't want you to freak out again. My impression is that he cares about you but never intended to put himself on hold for you. 

He's dating someone else now, Minime. It's time to let go.

[Wiseman2]

Unfortunately he's not a good friend. Delete and block him and all his people from ALL your social media and messaging apps.

Get involved with friends, family, neighbors, co-workers, interests, hobbies, volunteering, taking online courses, a second job, etc.

There's a great deal you can do besides getting involved in weirdos like this guy.

If you are interested in dating, get on some quality dating apps and start talking to and meeting men.

[smackie9]

Well I kinda saw it....he gave you the wrong impression. You ended up as the back burner girl and the distance doesn't help either. There are better ways to meet and date men. Being friends online isn't one of them.

[boltnrun]

Do you also have a boyfriend?

Anyway, it's natural for people to want relationships with someone they can actually see in person. 

[SooSad33]

Nothing you can do to 'fix it'.  You didn't do anything wrong.

He's lying to you.  And he knows that you know.

He has led you on and was NOT fair on you. 😞 

Is hard to be 'friends' with someone you have such feelings for, so I suggest you just leave him alone.

No more lying & head games.  Let him go hang with HER.

Be done with it all.  Move on. Do not expect anything with him.

[catfeeder]

On 2/9/2021 at 1:28 AM, Minime4457 said:

(A situation where as I was basically friend zoned)

By discussing dating others with one another, you've both friend zoned yourselves into an untenable position.

It makes no sense to play that kind of 'friendzies' with anyone you're interested in romantically.

I'd cut this loss now, and I'd pursue local dating.