Jump to content

Recommended Posts

Hello all,

I am writing this because I am currently stuck in the middle of a large friendship that is going through issues with two separate groups. This might sound confusing but to give some context, in this situation there are 12 friends including myself. To keep privacy I will use fake names. There are 6 guys (Bob, John, Kyle, Jacob, Will, & Brad) and 6 girls(Ericka, Peyton, Jasmine, Hannah, Olivia, Amber) 3 of the guys are currently dating 3 of the girls. (Bob & Ericka, John & Peyton, Kyle & Jasmine) Within the remaining 6, Jacob & Hannah got a divorce, Will and Olivia used to date a long time ago but now are really good friends and Brad (which is me) is currently trying to date Amber.

The tensions stem down to when Jacob started to date Hannah. She joined our friend group and the two of them got married. She began to become great friends with everyone within the group and 5 of the guys and 2 of the girls were in the wedding. She became very close to everyone and things were great. Things got bad however, when the two of them started to have problems. She began to rely on 2 of the girls (Olivia & Amber) and also myself to reach out for advice and just overall have someone to talk to. Jacob also reached out to me for help and advice, so I was stuck in the middle here but they ended up getting a divorce. This started a tear in our group as the only people who would reach out to Hannah was Olivia, Amber and some of the guys including myself. Everyone else in the group would never really reach out to Hannah. Jacob and Hannah have buried the hatchet and they both told each other they don't want our friends to pick sides and want all of us to still be friends.

But the problem currently is this: there is this tension between the girls. Hannah, Olivia & Amber have gotten very close and they still really like the other 3 girls, Ericka, Peyton & Jasmine, but they feel like they are not welcome whenever they all hang out. Ericka, Peyton & Jasmine do not start conversations with Hannah Olivia & Amber and they have told me that they feel like they don't invite them to do anything. While Hannah, Olivia & Amber have told me that they feel like Ericka, Peyton & Jasmine do not like them. I feel like there is a big misconception between the two groups. They both have the same mindset and I believe it can be resolved.

The most recent scenario which has caused me to type all of this was this past weekend. It was Jasmine's birthday and she texted me and Will asking us if we wanted to go and included everyone else besides Hannah, Olivia & Amber. Those three found out that Jasmine had a get together and are upset and feel like it is the cherry on top to their thinking that none of the girls or even the guys like them.

Out of everyone, I am closest to Olivia & Amber. I go to them about anything and everything and they consider me their best friend as well. They've contacted me about whether the other girls like them or not and they feel like they are being pushed out of this friend group. The scenario is weird because I feel like in a divorce or even a breakup you lose friends and people move on. Olivia & Amber have become so close to Hannah through being with her during the divorce that they don't want to leave her but at the same time really don't want to lose the rest of us. I could use some advice on what to do because I don't want to lose their friendships and I really believe it is a misconception that the girls don't like each other

 

Link to post
Share on other sites

If you want to stay friends with everyone, don't get involved. Listen when they need to vent, but focus on other parts of your friendships besides their conflicts. It's natural for friendships to change, break up, drift apart, as people grow older. 

Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Restore formatting

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
×
  • Create New...