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Help! Should I go no contact on a boy I used to have feelings for?


Aliyah

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Hello, this is my first time ever posting on here so sorry in advance if I do not follow protocols. I just recently turned 18 F and he is 18 M whom I'll call William.

So I met William in the 7th grade where we went to a small charter school in IA. We were not really close when I first started going to that school since I was new, but we became closer in the eight grade. Which is also around the same time I started to have a crush on him. I was pretty naive at the time and William was kind, popular, and very charming. Or so I though :(

I am a Muslim (and he is an Atheist) , and the school that I went to at the time only had 13 kids in my grade so everyone was pretty close. There was a girl there named "Karina" (Not her real name) who was the dominant person in the grade. I always wanted to sit at the lunch table with the popular kids and hang out with them at the park as well. Everyone there thought that William had a crush on me, but he never said it to my face.

Throughout the school year, William would say some hurtful things to me like "Stop Hijacking my plane" when I would sit next to Karina and some other friends. Or say "ARRR", since my parents are from Somalia. I felt uncomfortable at time and didn't say anything mean or negative to hime ever. I told him that was really hurtful and he apologized and did whatever he could to make it up to me which was being my personal assistant for the day (Writing this is making me cringe so hard).

Fast forward to 9th grade, he and I go to different Highs Schools and we text about once every month. Whenever we chatted I would talk about the new clubs I joined or I made it to A honor roll. He would tell me that I am bragging even though he lives in the rich suburbs going to one of the best schools in the state. At the time I thought that maybe he was right and that I was bragging a little too much. So I stopped talking about that. Even though every time he went on a vacation he would tell me and I would just respond by saying "Send me some cool pictures! Which he did. He become much nicer and more polite and I though that he really matured.

In the 10th grade we were still texting and often times he would flirt with me. So I confessed my feelings for him towards the end of the school year and he gently rejected me saying that he would "Always be my friend". I felt so embarrassed, but I kept that to my self and just moved on.

We still chatted throughout the summer which is about the same time he asked that we hang out in person. I was reluctant, but I said yes and was genuinely excited to see him again. We go to a Mexican restaurant and things were just so awkward that we were only there for 45 minutes. We both drove separately and we said our goodbyes and left. At the restaurant we talked about our families, life, and future aspirations. He made a lot of jokes and has a great sense of humor so although things were awkward we didn't have a bad time.

(His texting style- Extra Info before getting into the juicy stuff... )

He likes to chat once a month and whenever I text more often he does not seem as engaged in the convo and seems like he just tunes out. Whenever I tell him why does he do that he says that he knows me so well that it's too hard to think of other topics to talk about and I would just think that maybe I am overthinking things.

So in the 11th grade William and I still chat and text as usual, nothing major really happens and I start to see him more as a friends and would confided in him about everyday problems whenever we texted. We always texted and one day I just kind of got sick of it and asked him why do we always have to text, chat so little, and if I did anything wrong. He then says we'll talk on the phone from now on which we shockingly never did. We talked on the phone June 10th 2020 for the first time ever. It was after that phone call I started to wake up and treat William the same way he treated me. I did not reach out to him and he made the first move by texting me a question he could have easily searched up himself. on July 31st. We exchanged a few words and continued that cycle where he would start the convo one month and I would the next month.

Juicy stuff .....

So on Thanksgiving day, William texts me wishing me a happy THD. I say thanks and ask him what he is up to. He tells me that he now has a Semi Girlfriend and I was shocked that he told me that out of the blue and he tells me that he hung out with her and may have exposed her to covid and now she has to quarantine since her mother will be having surgery soon. I asked him why he said Semi and he said that he told her he liked and that she liked him too, but they haven't made things official and I give some advice with what little experience I have. Anyways after we talk about that he asks me if I met "Any cute Mohammeds?", and sadly that is the second time he asked me that. I tell him that I saw someone (dated) for a little bit , but we broke up due to him going to college in a prestigious school across the country (We were the same age, but he skipped a grade). The texting convo ends shortly after that and I thought that the things were getting better between us friendship wise. On Dec 26th I wish him a happy winter break and soon happy new year and he responds by saying thanks. We have no communicated again after that.

So should I go no contact on William and just move on? I always went above and beyond to try to be a good friend by remembering small details and wishing him a happy birthday (Which he has never done for me). I am now very aware and mortified that I put myself in this situation with a "guy friend" who I know deep down does not respect me.

There might be a lot of gaps in this story and I can answers any questions you guys might have. If I wrote everything it would end up being a 400 page book. Just reading this sounds so crazy, but I honestly do not know what to do at this point. We are currently seniors BTW

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30 minutes ago, Aliyah said:

 he asks me if I met "Any cute Mohammeds?",. I am now very aware and mortified that I put myself in this situation with a "guy friend" who I know deep down does not respect me.

Unfortunately, it's best not to have "friends" like this. He seems disrespectful, if not prejudiced. Delete and block him from ALL your social media and messaging apps. Focus on more mature open-minded respectful people.

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23 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

Unfortunately, it's best not to have "friends" like this. He seems disrespectful, if not prejudiced. Delete and block him from ALL your social media and messaging apps. Focus on more mature open-minded respectful people.

Thanks, you are most definitely right. 

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27 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

Unfortunately, it's best not to have "friends" like this. He seems disrespectful, if not prejudiced. Delete and block him from ALL your social media and messaging apps. Focus on more mature open-minded respectful people.

^ I second this post. Going NC sounds like a really good idea.

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