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My boyfriend of 1.5 years called him about 5 months ago at 2 am and did not block her number. I answered the phone and she didn’t respond. She then continued to call his phone 3 or 4 times right after from blocked number he answered and she didn’t respond. He admitted to me that she would call him every now and then before we began dating just to say hi. He also admitted to me that she called him the first week we began dating and he called her back to tell her she needs to stop calling him as he is in a relationship now. After this phone call happened in September it took a toll on me and he told me he blocked and deleted her number so there would be no more contact from her.  TWO days ago we hear one of our phones ringing at 1am and it’s his phone from “no caller I’d” no he didn’t answer bc he missed it but wouldn’t have answered anyways. All I can think is that it was her.. trying to reach him. I flat out asked him if his ex still calls him and he said no and I replied with she obviously does (hence the no caller I’d). Anyways it’s driving me crazy and has made me very insecure and unsure of everything lately making it hard to go back to normal with him. He is my best friend and I love him but something like this really rubs me the wrong way and I have a very hard time handling it. I know it may not seem like a big deal but her actions are causing problems in my relationship. I know he loves me but it still makes me second guess. On a side note, she is engaged to another man. 
I keep telling myself it’s nothing but it’s eating away at me 

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Not sure why she is calling him?

But no, if he said to her to stop, he should not answer anymore.

Do you know their history?  Did he get involved with you right after they split - or was it at least a good amt of time?

 

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Just from an outside perspective, I do think you're making a bigger issue out of this than it is.

If she is still calling him, he can't do anything about that. What matters most here, is if he is trying to engage with her, which by the sounds of it, he is not.

But this situation as well shows that you don't trust him and this is where the problem is coming in.

I know trusting blindly can be difficult, he has given you no reason to believe that anything is going on between them.

But I know how anxiety can bring in the "what if's".

Unfortunately, there is no easy solution here when it comes to the doubt. You literally have to chose whether you're going to trust him, or not.

But to continue to stress over her, or what might be going on, becoming colder and more resentful to your boyfriend over what he may or may not be doing, is no good.

You have to commit one way or another to either trusting him and just believing she's an annoyance and nothing more or that he's possibly cheating on you, and then ending the relationship.

You might consider as well trying to get help somehow for your low self confidence and trust issues, as both of those issues will make you a lot more miserable than you have to be.

 

Edited by SherrySher
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5 hours ago, Annonymous said:

 her actions are causing problems in my relationship. 

Sorry this is happening. His actions are causing problems. You need to step back and observe whether he has integrity.

She is not the problem. There may be other women calling,spam calls,who knows?

This problem is not caller ID, not an ex, it's between you two and a lack of trust.

 

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If it's an unknown number how are you so sure it's her? Your BF can block numbers and many phones have spam filters so he may need to use those features.

Frankly sounds like someone else calling or spam/robocalls.

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1 hour ago, boltnrun said:

Are you afraid your boyfriend still loves her and would rather be with her?

Why don't you trust him? Has he cheated on you?

That’s definitely in the back of my mine. But I do trust him. It’s just worries me at this point that she will not leave him alone and it feels like something I will always have to deal with  

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She will move on.  And if not, who cares - she's a loser who can't move on.

Stop blaming your boyfriend - he can't guess when she will or won't prank call him.  He chooses not to care, not answer, and has moved on.  So should you.  The worse thing that can happen is they have a civil conversation. They are broken up for a reason.

Edited by tattoobunnie
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50 minutes ago, WashingtonA231 said:

It’s just worries me at this point that she will not leave him alone and it feels like something I will always have to deal with  

Your BF is the problem, not this ex.

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“Stop calling me. If you call me again, I will report you to authorities.”

She continues?

Report to authorities, give them her phone number.

She continues?

Change phone number.

 

Really not that difficult to end the calls.
 

Although, I don’t see why it bothers you so much. It’s weird and creepy that she’s doing this. Do you see your boyfriend as someone who’s attracted to someone like that? If yes, you have bigger problems than her calls. If not, you shouldn’t give this another thought.

 

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2 hours ago, WashingtonA231 said:

That’s definitely in the back of my mine. But I do trust him. It’s just worries me at this point that she will not leave him alone and it feels like something I will always have to deal with  

What exactly are you "worried" about?  

Remember, if she continues to call he is probably not being firm enough with her OR he likes the attention and hasn't truly told her to stop.

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3 hours ago, indea08 said:

“Stop calling me. If you call me again, I will report you to authorities.”

She continues?

Report to authorities, give them her phone number.

She continues?

Change phone number.

 

Really not that difficult to end the calls.

That's a great solution, actually. Ask him if he will do this..it will be worrisome if he says he won't.

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22 minutes ago, Deedp said:

Change cell phone number and if that doesn't work contact her fiance and tell him what is going on, maybe that will help. GL

It's his phone and his ex. It's not even proven who is calling. At ay rate it's not her call to change her BF's phone number to get rid of what could be robocalls.

No Do Not escalate this nonsense and call her people. Best to get over the nonsense and communicate better with the BF about his phone nonsense.

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