URGENT NEED HELP.

[Rhuu]

I'm in a long distance relationship. Which sucks honestly. But before we started dating he was best friend. We would always play games together and talk for many hours. Then he went off to Navy and we lost contact for over a year. Few months ago he came back in contact with me. And in a few short he forced me to confess that I had a crush on him. To be honest I was not completely ready to do that because I didn't want to lose the amazing friendship I had with him. And because everytime I get close to someone I often have alot of panic attacks. It always drives so many people away. And this was his very first relationship. So anyway to the real problem. Everytime I have some sort of panic attack it drives him away. He always ends up shutting down then going away for a day or so. But this last fight was really bad. He says everytime he opens up I just make him feel worse. Which can only mean from my emotional attacks from saying he doesn't belong in the relationship, or he doesn't love me, or even care. It always sound like I'm giving up. Now he won't reply to any my text messages. Since I'm too afraid to call him. Because if I do call him he will just be silent the whole time.

 

Fyi we have met last month. And he suppose to see in a few days which he says he doesn't even know if he is coming. 

[gamon]

6 minutes ago, Rhuu said:

 We would always play games together

The game is with your head and he's the only one playing it.

[limichelle]

Hi!

 

Honestly it doesn’t sound like a good match. You’re anxiety is getting worse probably each time he leaves and it’s because he can’t handle your anxiety, which causes anxiety. See it’s a vicious cycle? 
 

You need to work better on this anxiety to have a healthy relationship with anyone.  Not saying him leaving is your fault. Him deciding on leaving and gaslighting you shows his true character.

 

You should just be thankful for his silence and move forward.

[melancholy123]

I think you'd do well to seek professional help for your anxiety as it is really messing with your life and relationships.

[Snny]

He... FORCED you? How do? By putting a gun to your head? Doubt it. That decision is on you.

If you are having a lot of anxiety in regards to entering a relationship I agree with seeking some counseling. It’s time to overcome this issue.

[Rhuu]

Just so everyone knows. I have talked to doctor today about me having a panic attack everyday. I do understand that my mental illness causes pain in a relationship. It just would of been nice if he could of been honest with me. And helped me grow. Instead of pressuring me. In reality I would of rather stayed his friend than get in a romantic relationship with him. But I understand this was all on me. I was the one who confessed. I can't really blame anyone but myself in most of this. Thank you all for the advice. I hope I learn and grow from this experience. 

[MissCanuck]

Is it correct that you have only met once in real life? 

[Wiseman2]

11 hours ago, Rhuu said:

 he forced me to confess that I had a crush on him. 

I often have alot of panic attacks

 I have some sort of panic attack it drives him away. 

my emotional attacks 

Now he won't reply to any my text messages. 

Sorry this is happening. The best thing you can do is get to a physician for the moods and anxiety aswell as a referral to a therapist for ongoing support.

If contact with him causes problems, step back. Tell trusted family what is going on.