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Dated for 3 years. Been broken up for about one. She's contacted me about once a month since the break up. I've never initiated contact. Last week she texted me some random question about something meaningless and I didn't reply. Then last night she said, "I think about you, I don't want to be a stranger in your life."  Does that sound hopeful and how should I respond?

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Do you want to get back together?  If so I'd respond "thank you for your e-mail and for sharing that you think about me.  I'm not sure how to interpret what you mean about "not wanting to be a stranger in your life" -can you be more specific?"

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16 minutes ago, Vince99 said:

Last week she texted me some random question about something meaningless and I didn't reply. Then last night she said, "I think about you, I don't want to be a stranger in your life."  Does that sound hopeful and how should I respond?

What was the breakup about?

Hopeful for reconciliation? Is that what you are interested in? If so why ignore her texts instead of asking her to meet/reconcile?

Is this a former GF or FWB? Are you trying to avoid the friendzone? If so then delete and block her completely.

Edited by Wiseman2
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1 hour ago, Wiseman2 said:

What was the breakup about?

Hopeful for reconciliation? Is that what you are interested in? If so why ignore her texts instead of asking her to meet/reconcile?

Is this a former GF or FWB? Are you trying to avoid the friendzone? If so then delete and block her completely.

It was complications from her job requiring her to live in a different state half the year.  But she doesn't have to do that now.  The message last week was the only one i've ignored. I replied or talked on the phone all the other times. We were in a committed relationship for 3 years and I would like to get back together.

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I feel, her saying she does not want to be a stranger in your life, means she wants to be part of it still.

As in, can't we at least be friends?  Not have to never talk again?

As for thinking of getting involved again?  Not even sure if that's what she is wanting...?

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8 hours ago, Vince99 said:

It was complications from her job requiring her to live in a different state half the year.  But she doesn't have to do that now.  The message last week was the only one i've ignored. I replied or talked on the phone all the other times. We were in a committed relationship for 3 years and I would like to get back together.

 

Ask her out to coffee and see what both your situations are. Go from there.

Edited by Rose Mosse
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15 hours ago, Vince99 said:

It was complications from her job requiring her to live in a different state half the year.  But she doesn't have to do that now.  

Is she back in your area?

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On 2/5/2021 at 10:07 AM, Vince99 said:

We were in a committed relationship for 3 years and I would like to get back together.

Then I suggest you ask her if she's interested in getting back together. You don't want to get your hopes up for nothing!!

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58 minutes ago, boltnrun said:

Maybe she sent it when she was buzzed. I've drunk texted exes before and always regretted it, especially when they eagerly responded.

Perhaps. She doesn't really drink though and she's never done that before. I waited a while to respond to her initial message to not look eager.  Thanks for your thoughts!

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I've also sent those kind of texts when I was feeling down or lonely.  And again, I regretted it afterward.  I didn't really want to start a conversation or meet up and I felt bad that I'd basically used someone I wasn't interested in being friends with to ease my loneliness.

I'm guessing she was feeling some sort of way the day she sent the message but she's not in that same mindset anymore.

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Sounds to me like she was expecting you to reply and when you didn't, she had a little panic attack, wondering if you were gone for good. It now seems she's realized she may have given you a thread of hope and is having second thoughts or unsure of how to respond. She clearly had you friend-zoned as she was a sporadic correspondent, at best.

 

Or perhaps she's giving you a taste of you own medicine? Like, "I'll wait even longer to reply and show him what it's like to be ignored". Maybe she's not that type. I hope not.

 

My advice, not that you asked, is to let it go and expect no response at all. The ball is in her court. Leave it there until she picks it up and lobs it back at you.

 

Good for you for not initiating contact with someone you clearly care for. I know how hard it can be.

 

Be well.

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