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He says he wants a prenup, I feel like the love is dead


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Dont marry this man child who still lives at home at 36.  He has no clue about living on his own or with you.  He sounds very immature for his age.  I predict a life of misery for you should you even move in with him, never mind marry him.

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12 hours ago, PainterGirl said:

Would rather just stay single for the forseeable future if things don't work out between he and I. Thank you wise man for the response. Just an FYI to add for anyone els; he would like for us to rent a house together this spring .

Then I guess this won't happen?  As you said, you'd live with only someone you'll marry first?

 

Yup, sometimes single is best... no pains/heartaches, I have learned, lol

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My heart goes out to you. There's no way that I'd live with a guy who's never lived on his own at age 36.

Sounds like he's stuck in some kind of sick triangle with his parents, and this has warped his view of marriage.

While this sucks, it's better that you've found this out before making a bigger investment in the guy--or with him.

Head high.

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He's finally shown his true colours.  I wonder if his aim was to keep quiet about marriage forever to maintain the status quo he does so well out of.  Marriage would entail joint responsibility, thinking about finances and other grown up stuff, none of which he has to consider while he continues to live with his parents.

The fact he'd want a pre-nup when you're the one with all the assets is comical.  Does he not realise that he'd be the loser out of it, because you'd get to keep everything you've built up while he'd keep only his nothing?

I insisted on a pre-nup when I married my second husband because we were in a similar situation to you.  Once we were married he would borrow money from me, buy gadgets he didn't need instead of paying towards bills etc.  I was done after 18 months and he didn't get a penny from me.  Save yourself all the heartache and find a man who's happy living as an adult and wants the same things from life that you do.

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Prenups are for celebrities who live in mansions not for us mere mortals earning their hard earned monies and live in a small area on this planet that we take ages to buy/build.

I don't think there is trust in your relationship, its the most important thing for a relationship to start with and you are talking about marriage here.

Let this go, you know better by now.

 

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7 hours ago, Spawn said:

Prenups are for celebrities who live in mansions not for us mere mortals earning their hard earned monies and live in a small area on this planet that we take ages to buy/build.

I don't think there is trust in your relationship, its the most important thing for a relationship to start with and you are talking about marriage here.

Let this go, you know better by now.

 

I'd argue the exact opposite.  Someone gets half of your $50 million, you're still in pretty solid shape with your $25million.  If you're someone who, say, puts 8+ years of work and debt into school and only after marriage ends up seeing the financial benefits of it, it's pretty reasonable to make sure those benefits aren't forfeited by default to a fully employed spouse and before any children have been introduced into the equation.  

In any case, this situation has very little to do with pre-nups.  The guy's obviously still jaded.  It's a toxic element which should be heavily considered.  The guy all around simply sounds miserable to me.  

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12 minutes ago, j.man said:

The guy all around simply sounds miserable to me.  

And it seems he wants to stay in his situation.  His smoke screen of a prenup is just his way of saying he wants things to stay the way they are.  Which is fine for him but apparently not fine for the OP!

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On 2/5/2021 at 5:27 AM, PainterGirl said:

 Am I crazy to feel like he doesn't see a life long commitment to me based off his reaction?

Oh, he probably does on some level.  But this is his way of saying he wants you to fund your "future" with him while he keeps what little he has for himself.

I'm amazed you kept a straight face through the "prenup" discussion.

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Pre-nups are always a touchy subject.  I know many wealthy men on their third or forth marriages who insist one to limit their wealth exposure from divorce.  They often want to be married, with a wife who doesn’t work and can travel at the drop of a hat, look after them, with no time for an income source of their own, only to pay them a paltry sum (compared to their net worth) should things go awry.

Not sure why a guy who lives at home with little assets would worry about such things?  Maybe he thinks he will be Jeff Bezos on day LOL.  The solution for him would be to put his (his family’s) assets in a trust protecting his future wife from access.

It would leave a bad taste in my mouth that a guy with less than you worries about you taking from him down the road.  Maybe this is what he intends to do to you?

Edited by sadchick83
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