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Does he like me?


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Me and this guy started ***ing around September/October. I met him on tinder and we started hanging out, the first time we hung out I took his virginity. I’ve been feeling some type of way for him for a while now and he knows how I feel. We always talk about how we’re not FWB but we’re not dating. We buy each other food, we text almost all day, we kiss, cuddle, play fight, and watch tv. He says he’s not emotionally ready for a relationship and I understand that because I’ve been there before. I asked him to be my Valentine and he said yes. I’m just not sure how he feels about me. Any advice?

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29 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

Ask if he wants to date you exclusively. That's not exactly GF/BF, but it's a step in the right direction.

I guess we already are exclusive. We don’t mess around with anyone else. Whenever I tell him about my guy best friend he always jokingly says “I’m cheating”. 

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1 hour ago, NoOneImportant said:

He says he’s not emotionally ready for a relationship and I understand that because I’ve been there before. I asked him to be my Valentine and he said yes. I’m just not sure how he feels about me. Any advice?

This says it all. 

He likes you, but doesn't want an actual relationship. Whether that's not with anyone, or just not with you, is beside the point. He's already told you where he stands. Be careful getting emotionally-attached, as it sounds like he's not committing to you and could fade away at any time. 

To clarify, what do you mean by be your Valentine? As an adult, what does that mean in practical terms - a date with him on Valentine's Day, or? 

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1 hour ago, NoOneImportant220 said:

. Whenever I tell him about my guy best friend he always jokingly says “I’m cheating”. 

Why do you do this? Sort of weird. What is the point of talking about another guy who is your "best friend"?

Are you hoping this stays at just hookups/FWB by pushing him away with that type of nonsense?

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5 hours ago, MissCanuck said:

This says it all. 

He likes you, but doesn't want an actual relationship. Whether that's not with anyone, or just not with you, is beside the point. He's already told you where he stands. Be careful getting emotionally-attached, as it sounds like he's not committing to you and could fade away at any time. 

To clarify, what do you mean by be your Valentine? As an adult, what does that mean in practical terms - a date with him on Valentine's Day, or? 

I understand what you’re saying thank you. What I meant by be my valentine is go out on a date and spend the day together. 

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1 minute ago, NoOneImportant220 said:

What I meant by be my valentine is go out on a date and spend the day together. 

Does he want to take you out and give you a valentine's gift? So you are asking him on a date but won't come out and ask?

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5 hours ago, Wiseman2 said:

Why do you do this? Sort of weird. What is the point of talking about another guy who is your "best friend"?

Are you hoping this stays at just hookups/FWB by pushing him away with that type of nonsense?

I tell him funny story’s about my friend and my friend calls me when we’re together sometimes. It’s not that I’m trying to push him away, I just like telling him funny things that happen. Me and my friend are long distance so we’ve never met. 

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7 hours ago, NoOneImportant220 said:

I guess we already are exclusive. We don’t mess around with anyone else. Whenever I tell him about my guy best friend he always jokingly says “I’m cheating”. 

You guess? it sounds like you're exclusive because it's convenient. He doesn't want a relationship. so he's not really seeking anyone else. He is having sex and all the comforts of a relationship with you.  Nice for him...

But it's not a relationship. So what will you do and how will you feel, should he decide to be in one with someone else?

You've got a lot of feelings and you're getting more and more attached.. Not really good choices for yourself. 

Edited by Lambert
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10 minutes ago, Lambert said:

You guess? it sounds like you're exclusive because it's convenient. He doesn't want a relationship. so he's not really seeking anyone else. He is having sex and all the comforts of a relationship with you.  Nice for him...

But it's not a relationship. So what will you do and how will you feel, should he decide to be in one with someone else?

You've got a lot of feelings and you're getting more and more attached.. Not really good choices for yourself. 

Thank you for putting it that way. I hadn’t really thought about that. I think I’m gonna start distancing myself from him. Everyone here has giving me great insight into what might be going on from his side. Thank you. 

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28 minutes ago, NoOneImportant220 said:

Thank you for putting it that way. I hadn’t really thought about that. I think I’m gonna start distancing myself from him. Everyone here has giving me great insight into what might be going on from his side. Thank 

That sounds like a good idea.  It's really easy to get wrapped up in one sided emotional relationships.

But Its harder to get out of & get over because unlike healthier, well balanced relationships that end, there can be a lot of resentment and ego involved.

It's important to find balance in and hold boundaries in all relationships. That not only fosters mutual respect, which is required for healthy relationships, it ultimately ends unhealthy situations. like this one.  

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2 hours ago, NoOneImportant220 said:

With him yes, but I know he can’t be with anyone right now. I just wanna know how he feels about me. I don’t know if i’m waiting my time to where I’ll get hurt. 

You are wasting your time!  He is stringing you along.  He said that to keep the sex going.  He is no fool!  
 

 

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16 minutes ago, michaelwilson said:

How old are you? It feels like he uses you just till the moment he will find something better as it's not a relationship. If you are interested in this guy really try to talk with him at Valentines day as it couldn't continue forever. Think about yourself especially if you are interested in this guy. Prevent yourself from suffering if he'll just decide to leave one day. GL!

He has  already been honest with her. They have been dating for five months, the Dude  is not into her. 

Edited by Hollyj
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He says he’s not emotionally ready for a relationship and I understand that because I’ve been there before.

YOU are getting feelings.. He is NOT into being fully involved - - says it all...

With this going on.. You WILL end up being hurt.  Happens way too often 😞 

If you don't get out of this... you may very well regret it!

 

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3 hours ago, NoOneImportant220 said:

Pretty much, I don’t know how else to ask him on a date. 

I find it confusing as to how you gave him full access to your body, yet you don't know how to ask him on a date?

As to your question, I'd say he enjoys sleeping with you, but if you attempt to pursue a relationship, he'll run for the hills.   Your call...

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1 hour ago, HeartGoesOn said:

I find it confusing as to how you gave him full access to your body, yet you don't know how to ask him on a date?

As to your question, I'd say he enjoys sleeping with you, but if you attempt to pursue a relationship, he'll run for the hills.   Your call...

It’s easy for me to give him my body because I know he’ll stay. If I ask him on a date I don’t know if he’ll stay, that’s why it’s hard for me to ask him on a date. 

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20 minutes ago, NoOneImportant220 said:

It’s easy for me to give him my body because I know he’ll stay. If I ask him on a date I don’t know if he’ll stay, that’s why it’s hard for me to ask him on a date. 

I'm sorry, but that is one of the saddest things I have ever read.  I think you really need to reflect on your self worth and take a break from dating.  

Edited by Hollyj
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29 minutes ago, Hollyj said:

I'm sorry, but that is one of the saddest things I have ever read.  I think you really need to reflect on your self worth and take a break from dating.  

Thank you. I’ve started going back to therapy and I’m going to start going to the gym. I’ve also picked up more hours at work, hopefully I won’t have time to worry about men. I want to work on myself but it’s hard. 

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2 minutes ago, NoOneImportant220 said:

Thank you. I’ve started going back to therapy and I’m going to start going to the gym. I’ve also picked up more hours at work, hopefully I won’t have time to worry about men. I want to work on myself but it’s hard. 

I think that that is a great idea.   This "relationship" is really devaluing and you deserve much more than any of this mess.  

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6 hours ago, NoOneImportant220 said:

What I meant by be my valentine is go out on a date and spend the day together. 

This is really not a good idea when you're not in a relationship with him. 

Valentine's Day is a romantic occasion. You're going to feel all the fuzzies and then it will hurt twice as much when you realize he still doesn't want a relationship with you. 

I agree with the other poster who suggested he's sexually exclusive because it's convenient. That's not to say he doesn't enjoy sex with you and generally enjoy your company, but it does mean he likely won't stick around when he happens to meet a girl he wants to date. 

I think it would be wise to start distancing yourself from him, and not do couple-y things together. If he felt different than he did when he first told you he didn't want a relationship, you'd know by now. 

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