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He text me telling me his marriage had broken up... Was I used?


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Hi, I'm just after some advice, so I've been sort of friendly with this guy, he recently text me telling me his marriage had broken up. I was being the supportive friend and then things turned flirty, so move forward a few weeks and we've slept together. He invited me to his house made me tea, really got to know me and made me feel special. Well since then I have text him twice, once he said he was busy and the next time he's not even bothered texting me back. Was I used?

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His wife probably returned from visiting her family or wherever she was, so his little fling with you is now over.

Do not attempt to "date" married men and certainly do not sleep with them!  Harsh lesson learned, but you will know better for the future.

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Sounds like a rebound. Sorry

Dont date men right out of a relationship.   You often become no more than a distraction while they work through the ending of a relationship.  And more often than not they return to the relationship.

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OK no one gets used for sex if both parties wanted it. Did he "mislead" you? maybe. If he said he was interested in dating you and start a relationship then yes....BUT if you just assumed he did, that's on you.

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He is married so its a sign to run. You both wanted sex and went for it. Love takes time. I did say dont dwell on it, cut him off, never contact him again. Find singles and stay away from marital mess/drama.

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2 hours ago, GGG82 said:

I've been sort of friendly with this guy, he recently text me telling me his marriage had broken up. 

Sorry this happened. No, you weren't "used", you simply flirted and got too involved with a married man. Delete and block him. 

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  • kamurj changed the title to He text me telling me his marriage had broken up... Was I used?
On 1/30/2021 at 5:04 PM, GGG82 said:

 Was I used?

Based on what you wrote, you did not ask him for a relationship so no, you were not used.  You made the informed choice of having sex with someone who you knew had just broken up (i.e. was most likely in rebound mode/ not in a stable state of mind) without previously clarifying what you were getting yourself into.  Based on what you wrote, you chose to have sex with him, no questions asked, and you did. If you wanted a relationship, you should have discussed that with him beforehand.   If on the other hand, you asked for a relationship and he promised you one, then yes, you were used.  But again, the choice to get with a guy who was a high risk to rebound remains yours.  You made a human mistake.  Don't beat yourself up over it.  Lots of women choose to see what they want to see in a guy who is clearly not a sound emotional investment.  Just learn from it so that you don't sell yourself short ever again.          

Edited by Clio
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Did you know he was married when you first started talking to this guy?  If so, you were sucked into a situationship with a MM.   He was having issues in the marriage and you were a distraction.

We think we can keep things platonic with these guys as "friends" but often we get to like them a lot because they are so eager to relate & be chummy.  MM who are looking for distractions,  you will notice they are very easy to strike up so called friendships with other women.

Women don't ask these  "time wasters" enough questions from the get go.  Even then they can BS you. Look at the situation logically - they are married.  Which means - run for the hills!

 

 

 

 

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On 1/30/2021 at 10:04 AM, GGG82 said:

. . .  so I've been sort of friendly with this guy, he recently text me telling me his marriage had broken up. I was being the supportive friend . . . 

Who is this guy?  How do you know him?  And how well do you know him?

Were you "used"?  I suppose so.  I'm not sure I'd look at it that way, thought; I'd look at it as an error in judgment and a learning experience.  If you're up for a little fun and can just walk away (like he can) then that's one thing.  But for something more, keep in mind that a married man, especially one who (claims his) marriage just broke up, is always a bad bet.  And I do mean ALWAYS.

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