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1 hour ago, boltnrun said:

And I bet that's why obsessively ruminating about your exes is so appealing.  It gives you something to do.

But it's not productive. It's not a positive way to spend your time.

What does this ruminating do to benefit your life?  How does it change anything for the better?

It doesn't benefit me at all! I totally get that. The 2nd ex, I don't really think about much. That recent incident (the subject matter of this post) sparked some thought but that's gone away fairly quick.

It's the one before that I just can't shake off. My main thing seems to be her past and it really shouldn't matter! For some reason I think I felt I was special to her so that now I've become part of her past too, I feel like I never mattered

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