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Finding purpose & coping with loneliness


Message added by kamurj,

Posting as different individuals.

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I’m 45 year old single by choice. I'm financially independent and run a successful salon business. I have noticed that I'm very strongly attached to my sister and nephew. when she got married i missed her & now when shes busy i miss her a lot. i feel lonely and cant do without seeing them both. i don't want to feel this attached. I feel I'm unable to handle relationships. I need guidance on how to cope with these feelings  of attachment, loneliness and feel like I don’t have a purpose in life . Pls help! 
 

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Why are you single by choice? How has the pandemic affected your business?

Does the co-worker who wears similar clothes work there as well?

In that topic you were 35 y/o medical professionals.

Don't you wear uniforms for either the office were you're a 35 y/o medical professional or in your salon where you are a 45 y/o successful business owner?

Broaden your horizons and social circles. Wear uniforms and lab coats. Don't push people away if you're lonely.

Edited by Wiseman2
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1 hour ago, Redhotchicita said:

I’m 45 year old single by choice. I'm financially independent and run a successful salon business. I have noticed that I'm very strongly attached to my sister and nephew. when she got married i missed her & now when shes busy i miss her a lot. i feel lonely and cant do without seeing them both. i don't want to feel this attached. I feel I'm unable to handle relationships. I need guidance on how to cope with these feelings  of attachment, loneliness and feel like I don’t have a purpose in life . Pls help! 

This reminds me a little of my sister. She forms close attachments with women who have children--doesn't matter if they're married or not. But she doesn't put much effort into her own romantic relationships. She would say she was single by choice. She even went so far as to have her own child in vitro.

Career wise, she is very successful and has used this as an excuse for why she hasn't settled down with anyone. But I don't think that's the real reason. I think it has more to do with control.

Why, specifically, have you chosen to remain single?

 

Edited by Jibralta
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3 hours ago, Wiseman2 said:

Why are you single by choice? How has the pandemic affected your business?

Does the co-worker who wears similar clothes work there as well?

In that topic you were 35 y/o medical professionals.

Don't you wear uniforms for either the office were you're a 35 y/o medical professional or in your salon where you are a 45 y/o successful business owner?

Broaden your horizons and social circles. Wear uniforms and lab coats. Don't push people away if you're lonely.

Different person asking this ... sorry! the medic professional is me & the salon owner is my bestie .. diff ppl with very diff problems 😀 she can’t understand mine & thinks it’s trivial & I absolutely don’t have lonely or attachment  feelings to understand hers! 

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1 hour ago, Jibralta said:

This reminds me a little of my sister. She forms close attachments with women who have children--doesn't matter if they're married or not. But she doesn't put much effort into her own romantic relationships. She would say she was single by choice. She even went so far as to have her own child in vitro.

Career wise, she is very successful and has used this as an excuse for why she hasn't settled down with anyone. But I don't think that's the real reason. I think it has more to do with control.

Why, specifically, have you chosen to remain single?

 

I think she doesn’t want kids at all very clear bout that .. partner yes she says she would like one .. but not really found anyone that clicked .. I think she’s trying to find meaning in her life & yes she needs to let go of some control & enjoy her families company without latching onto it 

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30 minutes ago, Redhotchicita said:

Different person asking this ... sorry! the medic professional is me & the salon owner is my bestie .. diff ppl with very diff problems 😀 she can’t understand mine & thinks it’s trivial & I absolutely don’t have lonely or attachment  feelings to understand hers! 

Sorry, I'm completely confused here. 

I didn't realize you were posting about someone else, but I find that interesting, given the fact that you are concerned about your friend's involvement in her sister's life. It sounds like you are too concerned about your friend's life.

Other people's choices are other people's choices. You either accept them or you don't. It's ultimately their business. Same goes for you. Your business is your business. If your friend can't understand it, she can either get over it or move along. 

I'm also having a terrible time understanding this post:

27 minutes ago, Redhotchicita said:

I think she doesn’t want kids at all very clear bout that .. partner yes she says she would like one .. but not really found anyone that clicked .. I think she’s trying to find meaning in her life & yes she needs to let go of some control & enjoy her families company without latching onto it 

I can't tell who you are talking about. Does your single friend have a partner??

Edited by Jibralta
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