Aka77 Posted January 25, 2021 Share Posted January 25, 2021 So i am 19,guy and bisexual in the closet.First day of uni i met this guy and we exchanged some words nothing special.Third day all of my uni classmates arranged we go to a place for cofee and have a chat.He came late and sat in a table afar (we were like 30 people and we had covid so yeah ) He smiled towards me,greeted me( i was the only person he greeted but he knew many from there) and he was constantly smiling towards me,blowing kisses at me and etc.Finally i decided to sit at his table and he was teasing me , filling me with sexual jokes , being touchy etc.We exchanged social, he was texting me with memes and selfies, talked to me in group chat and replying to my stories on insta.Fast forward to the day we closed due to covid, he gradually stopped initiating conversation on messenger,stopped entirely talking to me on insta and didnt talk to me in group chat.He was teasing and joking around with an openly gay guy and started calling me his bro,best friend and other straight terms.He one day talked to me about this one girl in our class who truly is really thirsty for him and cant wait to have sex with her etc.At some point i asked him if everything was okay and why he stopped texting me or behaving with a specific manner and he was like no ? you crazy? you know you are one of the only people i call friends.He still has this same attitude (university hasnt opened yet) and he has said in the past towards some girls that he doesnt look at boys (that he is straight) I don't understand why he suddenly acts like that towards me? He is now more close with this guy and the girl who wants to **** and barely talks to me.He still acts friendly towards but i feel used since he doesn't seem to really care.Can you guys give me an explanation of what is going on? I'm really confused.What should i do? I started not opening his messages since he didn't seem to bother to do it either and that seemed to piss him off.He jokingly said at some point in a group text that he considers me a good friend but i am the one that doesn't wanna talk to him (in a joke type of text).It seems like he is craving for attention and when i ignore him , he immediately gets frustrated when he has stopped texting me for about a month.Why does he have this kind of behaviour?? Link to comment
ForeverLearning Posted January 25, 2021 Share Posted January 25, 2021 8 minutes ago, Aka77 said: So i am 19,guy and bisexual in the closet.First day of uni i met this guy and we exchanged some words nothing special.Third day all of my uni classmates arranged we go to a place for cofee and have a chat.He came late and sat in a table afar (we were like 30 people and we had covid so yeah ) He smiled towards me,greeted me( i was the only person he greeted but he knew many from there) and he was constantly smiling towards me,blowing kisses at me and etc.Finally i decided to sit at his table and he was teasing me , filling me with sexual jokes , being touchy etc.We exchanged social, he was texting me with memes and selfies, talked to me in group chat and replying to my stories on insta.Fast forward to the day we closed due to covid, he gradually stopped initiating conversation on messenger,stopped entirely talking to me on insta and didnt talk to me in group chat.He was teasing and joking around with an openly gay guy and started calling me his bro,best friend and other straight terms.He one day talked to me about this one girl in our class who truly is really thirsty for him and cant wait to have sex with her etc.At some point i asked him if everything was okay and why he stopped texting me or behaving with a specific manner and he was like no ? you crazy? you know you are one of the only people i call friends.He still has this same attitude (university hasnt opened yet) and he has said in the past towards some girls that he doesnt look at boys (that he is straight) I don't understand why he suddenly acts like that towards me? He is now more close with this guy and the girl who wants to **** and barely talks to me.He still acts friendly towards but i feel used since he doesn't seem to really care.Can you guys give me an explanation of what is going on? I'm really confused.What should i do? I started not opening his messages since he didn't seem to bother to do it either and that seemed to piss him off.He jokingly said at some point in a group text that he considers me a good friend but i am the one that doesn't wanna talk to him (in a joke type of text).It seems like he is craving for attention and when i ignore him , he immediately gets frustrated when he has stopped texting me for about a month.Why does he have this kind of behaviour?? Stop giving him the attention he so clearly desires. He’s using you. He has been using you the whole time. I don’t think he genuinely cares about you. He feels like he can use you to get attention at anytime when he isn’t getting it from somewhere else. I’m sorry. If I were you, I’d cut off contact and steer clear from this guy. Link to comment
smackie9 Posted January 25, 2021 Share Posted January 25, 2021 Strange but I feel you are not used to this type of dynamic. He's a teaser, and enjoys sharing this with you and others,...joking, giving each other nudges, bonding stuff.... you liked the attention too I might add right? It's his personality, a free spirit a jokester. Now you can choose to ignore him, or play along with the bonding/teasing/goofing around stuff. It's college, there are going to be some weird people and experiences. You obviously had a different expectation, oh well...can't take everything so seriously. Link to comment
Aka77 Posted January 25, 2021 Author Share Posted January 25, 2021 The problem is that with this behaviour i don't understand if he actually cares about me or he is completely ignorant.It just genuinely confuses me Link to comment
smackie9 Posted January 25, 2021 Share Posted January 25, 2021 I feel you are misinterpreting his actions towards you. He's just an acquaintance, a fellow student, casual buddy, an outgoing person...hyper personality. He's just being friendly. Link to comment
SooSad33 Posted January 25, 2021 Share Posted January 25, 2021 2 hours ago, Aka77 said: The problem is that with this behaviour i don't understand if he actually cares about me or he is completely ignorant.It just genuinely confuses me As mentioned.. he's a teaser.... playing around and the way YOU saw it, was true interest. So, he jokes around & carries on. Don't take it to heart.. can you handle being a buddy with him? Then carry on with that :) Okay, so you stop responding & HE reacts? Whatever... is all up to you. Either continue on as his friend.. or let it all go...(If you don't like his attitude). Link to comment
Rose Mosse Posted January 25, 2021 Share Posted January 25, 2021 You have feelings for him so the meaning behind his every move will be amplified to something bigger than it really is. I've been doing a lot of reflection lately about learning about things I can control and things that are out of my control. Helps with stress management and anxiety. I find it helps a lot. If you're able to sort through things that are out of your control like his behaviour, the way he texts or talks with you or other aspects of your interaction, you can also start to learn how to manage that stress better the way you already are with limiting opening the texts immediately from him and so on. You're already practicing mindfulness and stress management techniques so good for you. Give yourself a pat on the back for that. The second part is managing your expectations. I'm not great at this and working at this myself. If he has a track history of being sporadic, lower your expectations of this person. Time will sort of fill in the cracks and details and smooth things out between the two of you as friends. He doesn't reciprocate but you can manage your emotions/stress or expectations when it comes to this person. Link to comment
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