Seraphim Posted January 26, 2021 Share Posted January 26, 2021 9 minutes ago, pattycee said: Boltnrun, I do focus on my son. He is the light of my life. My married bf actually asked me to go to Panama with him in the future. He wanted me to go for anywhere from one month to 3, and was hoping to keep me there for 6 in the distant future. My son is only 15 and he needs me. At some point he will need to go into an assisted living residence, as his dad and I will not live forever. But my bf was pushing me to put him into a home by his 18th birthday so that I will not have the responsibility of him while I go away with him. He said it is best for my son to be on his own and that I cling to him too much and smother him, and am too attached to him. Well, DUH. I am his mother! And that is just how it is. He said the people at the home will take care of him while I am away and he will be just fine without me. But I did not agree. I actually fought him on that one. I told him if it comes down to making a choice between him and my son, it will be my son every single time. He just seemed selfish to want me to leave my son behind for months. He said he is an adult at 18 and should be learning to be independent by then and I should have my own life, that I have cared for him for all these years, and need to let him grow up. I was really not comfortable with that at all. I honestly do not think I am capable of leaving my child behind for months at a time. And it is tough. I do realize it. I have had this crazy, intense bond with this man for all these years. It really is scary how bonded I have been. To my own detriment. You are right, it will be hard to resist him. Seraphim, I am very sorry that happened to you. 😞 I hope you have had some help getting through it. And I am glad you found happiness with your husband. Life sure isn't easy. Of course he wanted you to ditch your son that way you can dote on him 24/7. It is not because he wanted your son to be independent. Link to comment
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