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Long story short...

I got extremely black out drunk and slept with my boyfriends friend, but I hardly remember it. That isn’t an excuse AT ALL and I take responsibility for my terrible actions. We kinda want to try and make it work, but obviously, there’s a lot of resentment left. Him to me because of what I did and me some to him because he’s started talking to other women, including his ex who he said he hated, while we still live together and have sex and tell each other we want to work it out. He obviously still has those, “I hate you, gross ***, ***, terrible person, terrible mom, hope I die...” and so on... it’s only been almost 4 weeks though, so I know I deserve it. 
my question to y’all is if y’all think we might be able to work it out? Even with the name calling constantly and the fighting. My “reasoning” for cheating was because every single  time he gets drunk, he is very cruel to me and degrades me and that night, I had just had enough and made an forgivable decision.

Advice, please. 

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OK I will say this...yes what you did was inexcusable, but to be verbally abused IS NOT OK. This was a wake up call for you to walk. I swear to god, the verbal abuse is only the first step towards it getting physical. It's only going to get worse now that you cheated... hun....you need to run. He will not stop punishing you.

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Why didn't you leave this guy long ago, he is an abusive drunk?   Is this someone you want to raise a family with? I'm not excusing your behavior either.  You two sound very unhealthy together.

Edited by Hollyj
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36 minutes ago, Helplease07 said:

 

I got extremely black out drunk and slept with my boyfriends friend, terrible person, terrible mom, hope I die...” and so on... it’s only been almost 4 weeks

 every single  time he gets drunk, he is very cruel to me and degrades me and that night, I had just had enough.

How long have you been together? The only hope is to get sober together. Is the child both of yours? Do something before CPS takes your child away or one of you kill someone driving drunk .

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26 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

How long have you been together? The only hope is to get sober together. Is the child both of yours? Do something before CPS takes your child away or one of you kill someone driving drunk .

I missed that.  You are exposing your child to this behavior?!

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Since cheating is a conscious choice one makes, there are no valid reasons/excuses.  On the other hand, remaining with a drunk who is emotionally cruel, degrades you, etc, is akin to standing in the line of fire.

Maybe it's time to throw in the towel, learn the lesson and put this behind you

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OP, your relationship is doomed.  The writing has been on the wall a long time.  It's toxic and dysfunctional.  Now you both don't trust each other and without trust you have nothing.  Pull the plug on this one.  The sooner the better.

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5 hours ago, Helplease07 said:

Him to me because of what I did and me some to him because he’s started talking to other women, including his ex who he said he hated, while we still live together and have sex and tell each other we want to work it out. He obviously still has those, “I hate you, gross ***, ***, terrible person, terrible mom, hope I die...” and so on... it’s only been almost 4 weeks though, so I know I deserve it. 
my question to y’all is if y’all think we might be able to work it out? Even with the name calling constantly and the fighting. My “reasoning” for cheating was because every single  time he gets drunk, he is very cruel to me and degrades me and that night, I had just had enough and made an forgivable decision.

Ohh no 😞 

You 'acted out'.. which just added to HIS already crappy behaviour at you.

WHY would you want to stay with someone who is so nasty at you?  He's mean!

- He calls you names... acts out by talking to other women & his ex.

He's got issues!  If you are loved, you would not be treated this way.

Fps, let her have him!  She can deal with this kind of crap .

 

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