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The guy I'm dating told me he had visited prostitutes in the past


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6 hours ago, pattycee said:

I would not want to be with any man who visited a prostitute. It speaks of his character and how he paid to objectify and use women for his own gratification. I would wonder what else this guy was into that he was holding back. Yes, I understand that prostitutes will always be around but men do not have to facilitate that profession by paying them for sex, and yet they do and will always do so until the end of time. Sad but it's a fact. I guess it all depends on the woman. But knowing something like that would lower his value in my eyes, and make him less of a man. I would always wonder if he would do it again at any point in time. I would prefer a guy who would never lower himself to that kind of baseline behaviour. Living with the knowledge he did that will most likely always be in the back of your mind and may poison any chance for a trusting, loving relationship. Just saying. 

I must admit your views on this don't completely make sense. I know it had nothing to do with this actual post, but in your other started posts you've been writing about how you had an affair with a married man for EIGHT years. It doesn't really speak of your integrity or his integrity at all. Maybe just have a think about that before you judge others. Sure you are not a prostitute and you had an affair with him for free but this was a married guy and you were a side woman. I just find it interesting how people just judge when they are not the most moral themselves. We don't actually know why this guy used a prostitute and how often he used them. Maybe he was an older virgin or maybe he wanted to try something specific he was embarrassed about. 

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Well I think ultimately people tell us something stigmatised about themselves to see how we react because they want to be totally accepted for who they really are. E.g. someone might admit they used t

There are just some things I'd rather not know about my partners past.  Having sex with a prostitute once 10 years ago is information I don't need to know.  Am  I ok with it?  No.  But he was likely a

As mentioned, he said 10 yrs ago.. he was still in his teens?  Oh, when so young, I can see that. Curious, young minded. ( Hope he's grown up now!). As for me?  Don't think that would bother

Hi Tinydance. I made a mistake having an affair with a married man for 8 years, and an even bigger mistake falling in love with a man who was (is) not worthy of me. We have all made mistakes in life, so is it possible you are judging me for not  being perfect? It does not mean I have no moral values. I do. It just means I lost my way. But our experiences in life teach us a lot. You don't know me so I understand you have a narrow version and only see the one biggest mistake I ever made, without knowing all the other good deeds I have ever done in my life. There is a lot of good to me too. We are all flawed. And I am trying hard to learn from my mistake. I have a son with autism. I was depressed and in a very lonely and vulnerable place in my life. This man came in at the right time and took full advantage. He knew what he was doing. I was not his first rodeo I am sure. But he sweet talked me and made me feel special. He played me like a fiddle when he should have just walked away knowing I was in a bad emotional state. Many men would not have taken advantage but he is not a real man. I have turned down all married man who ever tried to proposition me or were ogling me before I met him and I will NEVER get involved with a married man again. I thought they were gross and disgusting and I actually told a few of them off. I really do not believe making one mistake and going against your moral compass should define you. People often remember your mistakes instead of the things you did right. I felt inadequate and less than because I produced a child who was different. I think I blamed myself and I have since been escaping from many realities and hanging onto this married man as the answer to my prayers. But he is not. He was just a distraction. I guess I did not want to do the hard work and deep soul searching. But I have just had an epiphany. After this final discard. I am going to become better and stronger. He has left me for the very last time. I am the one who is now taking back my power. And no, I would still not choose a  man who has visited a prostitute. And I would never have chosen a married man either before I met this snake. Both would be against my morals. 

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8 hours ago, waffle said:

 what his motives are in telling me.   you don't even NEED to know so what's to be gained by him telling you?  (I don't always buy the whole "honesty" thing).  

Absolutely. This TMI is more disconcerting than whatever act happened 10 Years ago.

It's interesting you are judging that he supposedly went to a hooker once as his first time (sounds fictional anyway) rather than talking about this subject in the first place.

If whatever he supposedly did at 17 is true, he was a teenager.

The problem is now he's a grown man and displaying the horrible judgement of having this conversation.

It's not "cultural".  It's playing silly "when and who was the first" games at almost 30 years old. Just a few weeks into dating.

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