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Boyfriend Lets Females Stay at His Home - Advice


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have been with my boyfriend for two years now. I am 27 and he is 34 about to be 35. Long story short, he has TONS of friends, and lots are females which has never been an issue for me. We are not living together as I have my own apartment and he has his own townhome that he owns but I stay there quite frequently.

My concern, is that every couple of months or so, some of his girlfriends fly out to visit and stay with him. While he has made sure all of these females are completely just friends, I feel uncomfortable and sometimes weirded out by this. This weekend, for example, his one girlfriend is coming into town with another one of her friends (that he also knows), but they have hooked up before. They are even all doing a trip to go skiing together in which I cannot go due to work. 

Has anyone else experienced this? Am I over reacting? 

 

Edited by twinklinglights23
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  • twinklinglights23 changed the title to Boyfriend Lets Females Stay at His Home - Advice

Discuss relationship boundaries with one another. If they don't match, then you as a couple don't match. Matching boundaries should have been discussed at the beginning of the relationship. Better late than never before you invest even one more day into someone who is likely incompatible with you. Sounds like he hasn't matured beyond what most grow out of beyond the early twenties. Usually when people move into serious relationships, their friendships with opposite sex friends also usually evolves into something that doesn't negatively impact a couple.

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So he has had them over since you two have been involved (over the last 2 yrs?).

Is it just this one you aren't sure of?  I'm sure she is well aware of YOU.  That he is not single...beside, they are history, right?

Do you feel there is any reason to worry?

Sounds like they're just going to hang out- plus she is bringing a friend.

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Have you talked to him about this?

Have you and he and these girls not heard of covid 19?  What are the girls doing traveling and then staying at his place?  That scares me more than the idea he may be having sex with them.

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19 minutes ago, melancholy123 said:

Have you talked to him about this?

Have you and he and these girls not heard of covid 19?  What are the girls doing traveling and then staying at his place?  That scares me more than the idea he may be having sex with them.

This ...

I'm also interested if you have talked to him about your concerns or are you worried about being looked as insecure?

 

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Speaking only for myself, I won't involve myself with anyone who is still involved with an ex lover, in any way, shape or form, beyond shared children. It's not that I'll tell him he can't or shouldn't do it--he just doesn't get to have me in his life.

You're learning WHY.

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