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A waitress asked if "everything is all right here?"


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Long story short: my mother and I went to dinner at one of my favorite restaurants way back when I was 14. At the time, I was struggling with my depression and autism. (Obviously was not being given the help I have today.)

When my mother and I were done with our dinner, I was feeling very low and sad. As the waitress cleared away our plates, she asked, "Is everything all right here?" My mother assured her that yes, everything was fine.

But I'm confused: let's say there WAS something wrong. What would we tell the waitress? (As you all know, I don't understand social cues at all. So I'm curious, if something "wasn't all right" what would we tell a waitress? What could SHE be able to do about it? Furthermore, should she have just minded her business?)

Thanks! I appreciate your reading and explaining.

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It's none of the waitress' business other than the quality of her service and food.  I would've just said, "Fine" and left it at that. 

Workers need to remain professional, pleasant, well mannered and never pry.  They shouldn't get personal with customers and clients. 

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It was none of her business to know the personal reason, that's why your mother said everything was fine. The waitress asked because she was wondering if you guys had an issue with the service or the food, it's part of her job to ask. I doubt she was asking for personal reasons or being a busybody.

Edited by smackie9
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Ya not everyone speaks up first if the fish tasted off or the soup was cold. So looking at your expressions of sadness or stress, the waitress had assumed there was a problem with your dining experience.

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Well as a customer you are allowed to say if anything was wrong. For example, if you didn't enjoy your meal or they took too long to bring the meal. Or the food was cold. You had to wait too long to be seated. These are just some examples of what could be not "all right". I imagine being on the autism spectrum you may think that the waitress literally thought something was wrong and that's why she asked: "Is everything all right?" I don't think she meant that something is not all right, but rather it's a polite question which is part of her job. It's part of her role as a waitress to be polite to customers and ask if they're happy with the food and service. So "Is everything all right?" basically means "Are you pleased with your experience here?" If you're not happy with something you can take the opportunity to tell her. Otherwise if you liked everything you just say it's fine.

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When a server notices that customers don't look happy, they likely want to know whether there's anything wrong with the food or service. So that question opens the door to any complaints a customer might want to raise.

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On 1/17/2021 at 8:28 PM, Seraphim said:

Yes ,what she meant was what is your food OK and was your service was OK. Not if you personally felt OK. The odd nice kind person in public might ask you but normally they don’t. 

 

On 1/19/2021 at 10:13 PM, catfeeder said:

When a server notices that customers don't look happy, they likely want to know whether there's anything wrong with the food or service. So that question opens the door to any complaints a customer might want to raise.

Got it; again, thanks.   🙂

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"Is everything alright here?" is server-speak for "Can I get you anything else? Is the food okay?"

She wasn't asking if you personally felt okay. 

Source: I waited tables for years back in the day. 

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