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Am I right to not feel trusted?


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2 hours ago, Wiseman2 said:

Are you separated currently? Why doesn't your wife of 16 weeks "feel safe" around you?

Perhaps it's time to consider divorce or annulment.

You seem to resent and disrespect her tremendously.

 

When we were engaged I had literally a week long panic attack. I've been so emotionally shutdown my whole life, and through our relationship I started feeling again, so I felt fears from past trauma and my brain didn't know what to do with it. I couldn't tell the difference between rational and irrational fears, and i ended up putting my wife (fiance at the time) in a scary situation because I couldn't tell the difference between a boundary and an ultimatum. It's a really long story. I don't resent her, im just starting to realize how i've given her control over my life, so im going to take control of my life back

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3 hours ago, odangdude said:

I don't resent her, im just starting to realize how i've given her control over my life, so im going to take control of my life back

Marriage isn't about control or power. It's about partnership.

If everything comes down to control with you, it's possible that you are not ready to be married.

You cannot have a good marriage if you are unable to manage a partnership without panicking over a perceived loss of power.

This marriage will fail if you insist on winning and "taking control of your life back." 

If you want complete control of your life, you should avoid partnerships in general.

Edited by Jibralta
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How can you claim your marriage is "strong"? According to your other thread it's not strong at all.

Your wife insists on complete control over everything you do. Are you OK with letting her run the show?

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The therapist who suggested you contact this woman, who is no longer 12 BTW, is a quack.

If a grown man ever contacted me because we had messed around when I was an adolescent, I'd find that very threatening, and I'd feel stalked.

So the question becomes, is the therapist you're seeing along with your wife the same therapist who suggested this?

If so, this person is only compounding any problems you have.

Whatever problems you're having with wife are a separate issue, but I'd certainly understand why she would not want you to do such a thing.

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