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Can't reach him; worried and conflicted


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Hi. First of all, my boyfriend and I have been dating for more than a year. We met online on a chatting app and I guess we just hit it off immediately. We've been texting almost daily and we call every once in a while. But for the past few days, I can't contact him and I'm worried. I don't know if I'm just over reacting because I've tried calling him but it went through voicemails. 

And I also have been thinking if I couldn't reach out to him in 2 weeks time, I kinda want to ask his brother on Facebook. But the thing is we're not friends and  I don't think his brother knows me. I don't want to embarrass myself or anything but I'm really worried. Should I just  give it a go or any other advice on what to do? Thank you in advance.

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Okay so he isn't your bf then.  He is some guy that lives far away that you talk to.  That isn't a relationship, that is a chat buddy even if it is romantic or sexual it is not real until you meet.  

  You have been talking to this guy for a year and still haven't met.  Doesn't that sound sketchy?  

How old are you and how old does he say he is?

How far apart do you live from him?

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4 minutes ago, lostandhurt said:

Okay so he isn't your bf then.  He is some guy that lives far away that you talk to.  That isn't a relationship, that is a chat buddy even if it is romantic or sexual it is not real until you meet.  

  You have been talking to this guy for a year and still haven't met.  Doesn't that sound sketchy?  

How old are you and how old does he say he is?

How far apart do you live from him?

I don't know. I still hope it will end well. I'm 24 and he's 28. He lives abroad.

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51 minutes ago, GardeniaGarden said:

my boyfriend and I have been dating for more than a year.

51 minutes ago, GardeniaGarden said:

I don't think his brother knows me.

I'll be honest, unless him and his brother don't get along, you'd tell your sibling about a girlfriend you've been dating for one year.

Have you seen pictures of him? Seen him on video? Spoken to any of his family members / friends? Has he met yours?

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3 minutes ago, greendots said:

 

I'll be honest, unless him and his brother don't get along, you'd tell your sibling about a girlfriend you've been dating for one year.

Have you seen pictures of him? Seen him on video? Spoken to any of his family members / friends? Has he met yours?

Yeah, we video call every once in awhile as well but I've never spoken to his family and friends and vice versa.

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He's not a boyfriend.  He's words on a screen and an image on a monitor.

I think it's fine to have online "friends" (I have a few) but it certainly cannot be a romantic relationship if you've never even seen him in person.

Just treat it as any other person you don't really know.  

PS:  The fact that he's unreachable implies he's not available.  Whether it's because his wife or girlfriend found out, she is keeping him busy and he is unable to get away to message you or because he's just busy, you have no way of knowing.

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15 minutes ago, boltnrun said:

He's not a boyfriend.  He's words on a screen and an image on a monitor.

I think it's fine to have online "friends" (I have a few) but it certainly cannot be a romantic relationship if you've never even seen him in person.

Just treat it as any other person you don't really know.  

PS:  The fact that he's unreachable implies he's not available.  Whether it's because his wife or girlfriend found out, she is keeping him busy and he is unable to get away to message you or because he's just busy, you have no way of knowing.

Yes this.  He made sure he could just disappear because he is not your boyfriend. He's a chat buddy and he might be who he says he is and he might not be- you have no way of knowing.  I'd move on 100% -do not contact his "brother" because if his "brother" wanted you to contact him this man (or woman) would have connected you to him.  He didn't because if he did and his family knew perhaps his wife/girlfriend would know too.  I'm sorry he just disappeared and it's fairly typical in this situation. 

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1 hour ago, GardeniaGarden said:

Yeah, we video call every once in awhile as well but I've never spoken to his family and friends and vice versa.

I think you need to face the fact that this is just not a real relationship, GG. 

Texting isn't dating, even if it's intermingled with an occasional video call. I don't mean to minimize your feelings, but this is Reality tapping you on the shoulder and reminding you that this guy is not your boyfriend for all intents and purposes. 

My guess is that his girlfriend (or wife) found your messages and he's blocked you on his phone. 

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