Dating a older guy

[Sanny1608]

Met a guy off a dating site during covid, we get along. There is an age difference between us of 5 years. 
 

I don’t know what is it but I’m holding myself back and feelings. He’s really nice and enjoy being around him but it’s covid dates as oppose to proper dates. Just don’t know what to do 

[SherrySher]

What are "covid dates"?

[Wiseman2]

1 hour ago, Sanny1608 said:

There is an age difference between us of 5 years. 
 

He’s really nice and enjoy being around him but it’s covid dates as oppose to proper dates. 

Do you mean you haven't met in person? Or just distanced walks and such?

That's a fine reason to hold back a bit. How long have you been dating?

5 years is not extraordinary, it depends on your ages.

Is he pushing for sex or in house dates? What's the hesitation?

[Sanny1608]

25 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

Do you mean you haven't met in person? Or just distanced walks and such?

That's a fine reason to hold back a bit. How long have you been dating?

5 years is not extraordinary, it depends on your ages.

Is he pushing for sex or in house dates? What's the hesitation?

It’s been walks around town and stuff like that. Few dates in now so not heaps but it’s been a few. 
 

not pushing for sex, he’s been super respectable and haven’t met indoors lol. 
 

the more I type the more I’m not seeing why I’m holding back 

 

 

[Jibralta]

I don't think five years is much older, at all. 

And why rush in? You just met the guy. Take your time.

[Sanny1608]

23 minutes ago, Jibralta said:

I don't think five years is much older, at all. 

And why rush in? You just met the guy. Take your time.

Just don’t want to waste anyone’s time that’s all 

[Jibralta]

You have to take the time that you need. That's not being disrespectful of him or his time. It's actually better for both of you in the long run. Let him worry about himself.

[Wiseman2]

Maybe you're just not that into him?

[Lambert]

Why do you have to do anything? 

Wiseman makes a wise point, maybe you aren't that interested. 

[abitbroken]

How old are you? If you are 19, then 24 could be a huge gaping difference on where you are at in life. But if you are 23 and he is 27 - that's not that bad unless he has expressed that he is dating to find a wife and you are just out to go on casual dates and are only dating him because there is no one else around.  Then you are wasting his time.

[acursedloneliness]

5 years is nothing IMO. My ex wife was 5 years younger than me, we broke up because of her cheating and being physically abusive, but from start to finish the age difference never showed in any important way. If he is respectful and you like him, and he isn't pushing for sex - watch out for this especially if you met online and live a good distance apart because its a thing that a lot of guys are doing now with the internet having such easy access, they get MULTIPLE "girlfriends" and because of the distance they tend to get away with it, and then bounce when they're "done". It is a disgusting but factually present issue with modern day online dating.. But if you DO LIKE HIM, and he SEEMS TO LIKE YOU, and he is respectful and everything then you are by no means wasting your time OR HIS by "taking your time" there is nothing wrong with that. I would suggest you DEFINITELY do not continue on for too long if you aren't sure whether or not you actually like him. That is where it gets a bit more shaky, Either you are feeling it or not. If so, keep it going if you are comfortable. If not then drop it now, so you do not lead him on.

Good luck, we are all here for you, At least I KNOW I am. Byeez

[Sanny1608]

On 1/15/2021 at 11:45 AM, Wiseman2 said:

Maybe you're just not that into him?

Lol weirdly I am, I think it’s just me overthinking everything and anything and because of covid there is nothing much going on and if he’s settling or am I 

[Sanny1608]

7 hours ago, acursedloneliness said:

5 years is nothing IMO. My ex wife was 5 years younger than me, we broke up because of her cheating and being physically abusive, but from start to finish the age difference never showed in any important way. If he is respectful and you like him, and he isn't pushing for sex - watch out for this especially if you met online and live a good distance apart because its a thing that a lot of guys are doing now with the internet having such easy access, they get MULTIPLE "girlfriends" and because of the distance they tend to get away with it, and then bounce when they're "done". It is a disgusting but factually present issue with modern day online dating.. But if you DO LIKE HIM, and he SEEMS TO LIKE YOU, and he is respectful and everything then you are by no means wasting your time OR HIS by "taking your time" there is nothing wrong with that. I would suggest you DEFINITELY do not continue on for too long if you aren't sure whether or not you actually like him. That is where it gets a bit more shaky, Either you are feeling it or not. If so, keep it going if you are comfortable. If not then drop it now, so you do not lead him on.

Good luck, we are all here for you, At least I KNOW I am. Byeez

Thanks for this, yeah I do want to take my times there isn’t a rush for anything really. 
he makes me feel comfortable for sure and is not weird or anything like that. 
 

it’s me overthinking I reckon lol 

[Jibralta]

48 minutes ago, Sanny1608 said:

I think it’s just me overthinking everything and anything and because of covid there is nothing much going on and if he’s settling or am I 

Yeah, boredom and inactivity is like gasoline when it comes to overthinking and anxiety.

[smackie9]

I'm sure in a few weeks you can figure out what to do.

[boltnrun]

What ages are we talking about?  If you're 16 and he's 21 that's one thing, but if you're 25 and he's 30 the age difference is much less impactful.

[Rose Mosse]

The issue to examine is probably how the age difference makes you feel. If you feel out of your league, not understanding his comments/opinions/quips/references or feeling like you just don't understand each other, that could mean the gap is too big for you and you're not feeling comfortable overall. 

It's easy to make anyone feel comfortable in the first flush of romance. If you haven't known each other for long, don't be taken in so easily. Check him out and see how it goes but don't get too attached. 

Your life stages count also so it may have little to do with your age and more to do with what you've both accomplished in your lives individually. I don't think there's anything wrong with dating outside of your normal range as long as there is mutual respect and understanding. 

 

[Batya33]

When I was 19 I dated a 24 year old for a year - the only one who commented on the age difference with some concern was his mom -we were staying over at his parents' place and she said something like "you know you're very young" to a comment I made about future goals.  But the reason we ended things was we had very different personalities- nothing to do with age.  In fact we emailed over linked in the other day to catch up - and we broke up in 1987! I do think perhaps if I had been 24 and he 19 then the stereotype "girls mature faster" might have made that sort of age difference too dramatic.

So I think either you're just not feeling a spark or for some reason you're  getting in your own way of getting to know a good person.

[WalterSobcha]

5 years is nothing as long as you're both grown-ups.